Vintage Scares #9: Midgets

I know I sound insensitive when I say this, but midgets and dwarves often scare the hell out of me. Before you judge me, please read on.

I've mentioned before that there are certain things which, under the right conditions, scare the living shit out of me. Clowns, ventriloquist dolls and children (those twins in The Shining... need I say more?) all can be horribly frightening in the dark.  Now it's time to add another item to the list - Little People.

Bear in mind, a midget, a clown, a child, and a ventriloquist doll aren't frightening in their own right, but when they appear unexpectedly out of their "element" doing strange things, it can be quite terrifying.  My own toddler has scared the crap out of me when I saw him walking through the house in the middle of the night.  There's just something about it!


As a kid, the Oompa Loompas never sat well with me. They left me feeling a little uneasy. The thought of waking up and finding an Oompa Loompa standing in the dark by my bed caused me great insomnia as a wee lad. 

Ever seen The Manitou (1978)? The VHS box reads: "A psychic's girlfriend finds out that a lump on her back is a growing reincarnation of a 400 year-old demonic Native American spirit.".... Yes, you read it right. Read it again, and let it sink in this time.  Now, what if I told you that demonic Native American is a deformed midget who literally punches his way out of the womans uterus? Think about it.

Ever seen lungs impaled by a leprechaun riding a Pogo stick? Well, then you haven't seen the shitty Leprechaun series (and there's been FIVE of them so far!). Great review found here.

I can say this with perfect confidence: The Sinful Dwarf (1973) is the most effed up disturbing movie I have ever seen. This grindhouse nasty HAD to have left every cast member and crew traumatized; the DVD should come with a coupon for a free therapy session and a pack of Zoloft. Why did I watch it, you ask? Eccentric Cinema said it best in a review of this film:

"For connoisseurs of trash cinema, watching this low budget grotesquerie is the equivalent of having to take a dump in the scuzziest public toilet imaginable... You just gotta do it, even if you know an industrial strength antibacterial will be required afterwards."

And finally, just when you thought "Dwarfsploitation" couldn't get any worse, there's Spermula (1976). SWEET SASSY MOLASSY!


  1. I've read up extensively on THE SINFUL DWARF but have never seen it. I hear now they've restored previously edited out hardcore(!) sequences to it!!UGH!

    ...and that guy had apparently been a kid's show host on TV!

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  3. I totally what you mean. I feel the same way. I remember there was this midget when I was a kid that lived in the neighboring town. It seemed like everywhere we went we would see him there. He also had a mean looking face. He would scare the crap out of me. I'm still freaked out when I think of him.

  4. Then you'll probably not want to see THE LITTLE CIGARS, which is about a team of bank robbing little people who enter via the night deposit drawer...

  5. The Manitou is available in multipleparts on YouTube. Plan your Halloween viewing accordingly :)

    There are some big stars in it too: Tony Curtis, Stella Stevens, Ann Sothern, and Burgess Meredith.

  6. You will probably delete this comment, but this post is needlessly offensive.

  7. No Rockster, I will not delete your comment.

    I will say, however, that it shouldn't be offensive. I stated clearly that midgets don't scare me, only under the right conditions. I stated that my own child scared the hell out of me. Children can be very scary - that doesn't mean that I am insulting children.

    Plus, this all in fun. Let's lighten up a bit, maybe.

    And as to it being NEEDLESSLY offensive... have you read my other posts? Pretty much every post is pure frivolity. I mean, c'mon, this is a post which states that midgets scare me - it doesn't get much more lightweight than this. We're not exactly tackling tough issues here. If this is offensive, I would imagine (sorry to say) there is probably not much which will NOT offend you.

    Feel free to respond. Although, I noticed my followers went down by one, and I'm guessing that's you. So, I won't hold my breath.

  8. Wow. This is...uhh...kinda weird. Does this have anything to do with not getting the Shrunken Head Maker you wanted? Small things seem to upset you.
    I suggest a viewing of "Terror of Tiny Town" followed by a trip to the circus. Fears need to be faced, even if you have to stoop down to do it.

  9. Yo man,one of my homey's a real dope dude,man.I don't like nobody dissin' my friends,know what i'm sayin'?I bet you like that Randy Newman song,'Short People'.They just like you and me,homes,peace yo.

  10. As Martin Mull once observed, midgets are the last to know it's raining, the first to know it's a flood.

  11. But why the title ... SPERMULA? Who was the creative genius behind this, and what were they thinking? haha

  12. I am there with ya, man. Something from our childhoods scarred us! Munchkins? Oompa Loompas? Scary dwarf flicks? Who knows...