11/27/09

Ads #24: The Space Ranger

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Do my eyes deceive me? This can't really be what I think it is. I had stumbled across in an old magazine the answer to the world's problems and a kickstart into the space age! A freaking personal spaceship for about six grand! The ad says it will fly to an altitude of 5,000 feet, and it can go forwards, backwards and sideways! I mean, this is going to change everything - why take a car anymore when this can take off vertically from almost any location? I'm sold. Where do I sign?

I did a little research on the subject (and I do mean little) and found that the G8-2-130 jets use very little fuel (propane) and are ecologically clean (the exhaust is carbon dioxide, nitrogen and steam).  I found this photo from another site about the Space Ranger.  (That woman's bell bottoms look wide enough to get her airborne without need of a spaceship.)


No more need to scar the land with ugly roads (which are made largely of oil, themselves). All that needs to be done is just pimp it a little bit - install some cup holders, enclose it in a cool frame, add satellite radio, A/C, and some headlights for night flying and we're in business!

Not only would this drastically cut our dependence on foreign oil, but this would save the automobile industry. Of course, they'd have to rename it. "Space Ranger" sounds sort of corny to today's consumer.  It needs to be something like The Dodge Prion, The Chevy Luxor or The Ford Oracle.


Oh, wait. Turns out these things rarely got beyond 30 feet in the air and had a habit of erupting into flames.  My bad.

6 comments:

  1. I love the last photo of that thing going up in flames and the helpless looking guy with the fire extinguisher. He's probably thinking:
    "Too many flames,not enough extinguisher so good luck with that!"

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  2. ...and se my post today for someone that's in RetroSpace.

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  3. The fine print in the add is great. Easily constructed in your workshop of local welding shop. You steer it by leaning in the direction you want to go. I wonder how many time you'd have to fly into the side of a building or into the ground before you'd get the hang of controlling the thing. 5,000 feet? Better be sure to wear your crash helmet. And the fire thing, just wear your asbestos knickers.

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  4. "...a habit of erupting into flames."

    You say that as if it were a bad thing.

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