If TV Shows Were Made Raunchy

A friend and I recently got into a highly erudite conversation about which TV shows we’d most like to see adapted to film…. and turned raunchy. Pretend it’s the 70s and some sleazy movie producer wants to make a softcore grindhouse piece of crap television adaptation to be shown at midnight drive-ins. What TV shows would get you to that theater the fastest?

Are there more important things to do right now than think about stuff like this? Yes. But is it fun to think about it anyway? Absolutely. So, here’s my personal top ten in no particular order – with potential taglines thrown in for the hell of it.  Click on movie posters to enlarge.

Mork & Mindy
Tagline: Someone's gettin' it in the shazbot!

Bionic Woman & The Six Million Dollar Man
Tagline: We can build him better, stronger, harder

WKRP in Cincinnati
Tagline: WKRP in a Cincinnati bowtie

Gilligan’s Island
Tagline: A three hour screw

Designing Women
Tagline: The best little whorehouse in Atlanta

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century
Tagline: Bidi-bidi-bidi-bidi-booty call

Laverne & Shirley
Tagline: Doing it our way

Three’s Company
Tagline: Cum and knock on our door

It’s Your Move
Tagline: It’s your MILF

The Secrets of Isis
Tagline: Shazam!

Naturally, the nest step is to think of TV show adaptations you’d LEAST like to see at the midnight drive-in. My vote goes to Barney Miller, the Waltons, Golden Girls, Cagney & Lacey, Sanford & Son, and CPO Sharky.


  1. You can get a Three's Company & 3 Gilligan's Island XXX Parodys.



    & back from the 90's Ginger's Island & Ginger's Island 2

  2. Three’s Company
    Tagline: Cum and knock on our door

    I swear, if this gets made into an R-rated feature starring Justin Beiber, Lindsay Lohan, and Selena Gomez, I will blame you.

  3. Most Wanted: I Dream of Jeannie
    Tagline: "She'll do anything for her Master."

    Least Wanted: Hogan's Heroes
    Tagline: "In a POW camp, you do what you must to survive."

  4. Somehow, this gets me thinking. With all the remakes of 1980s properties out now or due out soon, maybe they'll do a remake of The Golden Girls; only this time, the septuagenarians will be played by Tina Louise, Dawn Wells, Barbara Eden and Barbara Feldon!

  5. Here's my contribution


    Tagline: There's a pileup on I-69!

  6. It's all so wonderfully wrong.

    I was going to mention "Joanie Loves Chachi," but that joke is already ancient:


  7. I think I may have a winner in the "LEAST Like To See" competition:

    "B.J. and the Bear."

  8. No, I think I can top that.

    Jake and the Fatman!
    Tagline: "More bounce to the ounce!"