10/15/10

Vintage Style #16 The Ladies' Man



Let's take a look at a few images of that 70's guy in all his fashion glory.  Tight pants, big collar flapping in the breeze, polyester from head to toe - the man of the seventies was something to behold. 

A close-up look at this fella's suit reveales it to be black velvet - yes, folks, this man is a living black velvet painting.  The woman's satin pants aren't too shabby either.  Wonder if this fashion will ever make a comeback.... kinda doubt it.


at the office - good employee relations

The green rotary phone is a dead giveaway that you're not in the 21st century anymore, Toto. Of course, the bold stripes across this dude's tight fitting sweatervest should have clued you in, as well.  Those stripes are so obnoxious, with some tights it could almost pass for a superhero costume.

the 70s stud

A brown disco polyester shirt.... it doesn't get more seventies than this, folks.  I found this quote on the internets somewhere, and I thought it was a pretty good summary of polyester:

Polyester shirts might have continued as a fashion trend if not for two inescapable facts: they felt bad and smelled awful. The feeling of a polyester shirt against your skin is hard to describe. It’s something akin to wearing a wetsuit smeared with plastic lard.

Odors become trapped in the fabric and no amount of washing will remove them. The positive ionic charge of the fabric acts makes dirt cling more fiercely to the fabric than it does to soap. As time goes on, the shirts smell worse and worse, until that acrid, rotten smell, so often associated with polyester shirts, is inescapable.

Soon, all but the most hardcore, coke-snorting, zodiac-inquiring, singles-disco males had discarded their polyester shirts. Shortly thereafter, the shirts were stereotyped to this group of people, and the polyester shirt went the way of all fashion.

badminton

I'm on the fence with the whole "long vs. short" shorts debate. Okay, well um, there isn't a debate - but if there was one, I'd be on the fence.  Basically, I hate really long shorts - they look stupid.  I'm sure that the cargo shorts that hang below the knees will look mighty ridiculous in hindsight.  However, at the same time, men in short shorts is not often a pretty thing.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm all in favor of the ladies wearing the short shorts if they can pull it off.  But for men it's a different story.  Men have.... well, equipment down there that's not adequately housed, shall we say, in a pair of short shorts. One false move and his junk may be getting a whiff of fresh air..

I'm sure men my age can relate.  Back when you wore these things and got a boner, it was a friggin spectacle.  God forbid you get wood at summer school and have to go up and write on the blackboard.... not that anything like that ever happened to me.  I'm just sayin'.

16 comments:

  1. What's he fixin' to measure? How tall the pile of women is who fall limp at his feet while he drinks his Colt 45? And is she attempting to point at something on the wall or is that her famous Vampirella pose?

    That green phone looks European; the shape is odd and the 2 tones of green with the ivory dial backplate. Also, no letters under the numbers. Is that from a British publication? Both people look like they could be British.

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  2. Men in black velvet....I cannot fault.

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  3. I would totally wear the vest in pic #2, with a jacket over it, it would look like a presidential sash and make me feel important.
    As for the shorts non-debate, I would be on the fence too, and leaning towards the short side of things since long below the knee shorts look hideous!

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  4. Summer school, Gilligan? I'm shocked. Did you fail your Polyester 101 class?

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  5. The woman in the third photo looks like a young Roseanne Barr.

    While I accept that I'm one follicle short of being declared a Robin Williams monkey-man, I've got to say that the guy in short-shorts has disturbingly smooth legs. If you pan up that photo, it's quite "eww" inducing. Try it. It's fun.

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  6. I dee nothing wrong with the guy with the sweater vest. He could be me in the '70s, complete with the wide collars. It was hard to buy shirts back then without them. I had the polyester shirts too. I cringe when I see photos of me in those shirts. As to the short pants, with pants as short as that guy is wearing, I wouldn't want to be sitting on a fence.

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  8. I've noticed a trend lately with athletic clothing. Many shirts and shorts claim to have moisture wicking properties to keep you dryer. All that means is they're made of polyester! I never thought it could make a comeback but it's having a renaissance. It's just not as noticeable without the giant collars. I agree with you about the smell. It stinks up fast. Way smellier than cotton T-shirts.

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  9. Capewood "As to the short pants, with pants as short as that guy is wearing, I wouldn't want to be sitting on a fence." LOL!
    RetroHound.com

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  10. Holy crap, tom. Are you kidding? All that expensive Underarmer clothing is just polyester in disguise? I'll be damn.

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  11. Those satin pants ARE nice. I just don't have the area to pull them off. You know what SHOULD make a comeback? Those little silk scarves tied to the neck. (or what Daphne from Scooby Doo rocks)
    The quote reminds me of something my Dad said about polyester, him being a child of the 70's. He was taking out the trash wearing a polyester shirt and then afterwards, no matter how many times he washed it, it ALWAYS smelled like garbage.

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  12. Whoa, that guy with the striped sweater-vest does look like he could be a superhero. Stripe Man!

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  13. What??

    No "Angel Flight" suites?

    Why, if you didn't go to Chess King and buy and Angel Flight suite, then you just weren't a hip dude from the 70s.

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  14. Hey!
    I own the same black velvet - wide collar - tight bell-botoom pants! Wore them at a wedding lately.. terrific effect! :D
    Check it out: http://lostintheseventies.blogspot.com/2010/08/un-mariage-retro.html
    And I love the striped vest too...

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  15. PacoCamino Man blog deja-vu.

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