Let's take a look at a few images of that 70's guy in all his fashion glory. Tight pants, big collar flapping in the breeze, polyester from head to toe - the man of the seventies was something to behold.
A close-up look at this fella's suit reveales it to be black velvet - yes, folks, this man is a living black velvet painting. The woman's satin pants aren't too shabby either. Wonder if this fashion will ever make a comeback.... kinda doubt it.
The green rotary phone is a dead giveaway that you're not in the 21st century anymore, Toto. Of course, the bold stripes across this dude's tight fitting sweatervest should have clued you in, as well. Those stripes are so obnoxious, with some tights it could almost pass for a superhero costume.
A brown disco polyester shirt.... it doesn't get more seventies than this, folks. I found this quote on the internets somewhere, and I thought it was a pretty good summary of polyester:
Polyester shirts might have continued as a fashion trend if not for two inescapable facts: they felt bad and smelled awful. The feeling of a polyester shirt against your skin is hard to describe. It’s something akin to wearing a wetsuit smeared with plastic lard.
Odors become trapped in the fabric and no amount of washing will remove them. The positive ionic charge of the fabric acts makes dirt cling more fiercely to the fabric than it does to soap. As time goes on, the shirts smell worse and worse, until that acrid, rotten smell, so often associated with polyester shirts, is inescapable.
Soon, all but the most hardcore, coke-snorting, zodiac-inquiring, singles-disco males had discarded their polyester shirts. Shortly thereafter, the shirts were stereotyped to this group of people, and the polyester shirt went the way of all fashion.
I'm on the fence with the whole "long vs. short" shorts debate. Okay, well um, there isn't a debate - but if there was one, I'd be on the fence. Basically, I hate really long shorts - they look stupid. I'm sure that the cargo shorts that hang below the knees will look mighty ridiculous in hindsight. However, at the same time, men in short shorts is not often a pretty thing.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all in favor of the ladies wearing the short shorts if they can pull it off. But for men it's a different story. Men have.... well, equipment down there that's not adequately housed, shall we say, in a pair of short shorts. One false move and his junk may be getting a whiff of fresh air..
I'm sure men my age can relate. Back when you wore these things and got a boner, it was a friggin spectacle. God forbid you get wood at summer school and have to go up and write on the blackboard.... not that anything like that ever happened to me. I'm just sayin'.