Comic Books #28: M.A.R.S. Patrol

The M.A.R.S. Patrol, as their acronym makes clear, are tasked with both attacking and rescuing.... and evidently patrolling as well.  And all this is apparently a "service".  They perform the services of attacking, rescuing and patrolling..... whatever. I need to learn to let it go, not think too much and just enjoy the comic. I also need to let go of the fact that they're Marines, but they each dress in primary colors.... and the title of every comic includes the words "Total War"; although, I have absolutely no idea what that pertains to.  I mean, they go on missions, but there isn't a war..... it makes about as much sense as "Johnny Quest: Total War".

This is also the most asterisk laden comic book I've ever read.  Even the title of the comic has an asterisk.  And there's asterisks in the most ridiculous places.  Get a load of the one in the panel above: R and R means "rest and recreation"? M.I.S!*

* Make It Stop!

Here's a few other wonderful panels from this 1969 issue...

Admit it. You thought he said "scared shitless" too, and had to read it twice.

"Splat"? What kind of sound effect is that for punching a guy in the face? Did he hit him with a tomato? Or does the Skipper suffer from BBD*, where his face literally implodes when punched? Great line though: "We've had a bellyful of your gaff!"

*brittle bone disease (osteogenesis imperfecta)

Just three good looking men shirtless, sharing some wine and cake on the beach. NGAT.*

Nothing gay about that.

But all kidding aside; you've no doubt had a bellyful of my gaff. This is actually a pretty fun little read. Click here to download the whole thing.


  1. Gilligan ol' mate

    Sadly I had to drive a stake through the heart of the Uranium Cafe. Damned hacker just ruined it for me. I am setting up a new UCafe at


    It is a Blogger blog and so you can follow me from there. I have to catch up a lot of stuff.


  2. I love how Mr. Yellow on the cover seems tickled pink that none of the baddies' bullets have hit him yet, like he's taunting them. "Nyeah nyeah! Missed! Wheee!! Have a grenade, purple men!"

  3. In the early issues, there was a war of sorts when the U.S. was being attacked by an unidentified enemy. Later, I think they intimated that they were aliens from another planet. By the time this issue came out, I think they were trying to tone down the violence, so it was kind of muddled. Really odd comic to do during the heyday of superheroes.

  4. Jonny Quest: Total War. I'd totally read that.