5/10/11

Opinions and Rants #32: Food TV Hell


I hate The Food Network.  That's not to say I hate cooking shows - I loved The Frugal Gourmet (before he was wrongfully accused of molesting an intern).  I also liked The Cajun Chef and even The Galloping Gourmet - and, of course, Julia Child.  These shows actually showed you how to cook - they were fun, but also instructional.  Today, we don't get instruction from The Food Network. We get reality shows and genuflecting at the altar of Almighty Food.

Shows like "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" just revel in the splendor of food. Oooooo, doesn't that look deeelish! (ugh) They look like their having full-on orgasms when they taste a freaking reuben! It's a sandwich for chrissakes.  I might be interested in learning how to cook it, so as to eat it myself; but, I damn sure am not going to sit and watch you wet yourself over it.

Admittedly, during the daytime, The Food Network actually is okay.  The shows seem to make an attempt at education.  However, in the evening it all goes to hell. Sadly, these are their most popular programs, and so the real blame lands on the stupid f***ing public who seem to lap this garbage up.  Justin Wilson and Jeff Smith would be woefully out of place on Food Network primetime, I'm sad to say.

19 comments:

  1. I agree! I learned to cook watching Jeff Smith and Graham Kerr (and Nathalie Dupree) because my mother hates cooking and never taught me.

    I know someone whose mother will travel all over Southern California trying out places she has seen on The Food Network. The daughter says the food is just "okay" most of the time but her mother always goes bonkers over it because of the Food Network.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Who's that complete jerk ass with the stupid bleached spiky hair and horrible gravelly voice? He's a person I'd most like to punch in the mouth just for being himself. At least Alton's shows were entertaining and educational, although I haven't watched those (or anything else on Food) for quite a while.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousMay 10, 2011

    I have been to most of the "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" pics here in Texas and they are either ok or good, but nothing fantastic. The show that is hard to watch is "Man vs. Food" on the Travel Channel. That show makes my wife sick to watch.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey Anonymous, I think you mean, "That show makes my wife sick while watching it." :)

    The Food Network got so far away from doing cooking shows, they started another network called The Cooking Channel. Sadly, there isn't much cooking going on there either. And they are so focused on personality over ability, most of these people give incomplete or downright incorrect information.

    PBS still has the best cooking shows, although they are doing fewer and fewer.

    ReplyDelete
  5. UGH! I hate how these folks salivate over their creations. The worst offender has to be Paul Deen! I HATE her phony southern hospitality and "y'all" comments! She really irks me when she practically has an orgasm eating her own food. Rachel Ray, although cute, can get annoying with her slang such as "delish" "yum-o" and "EVOO"...plus isn't she a little old for the cutesy act??

    ReplyDelete
  6. I loved watching Julia Child doing her cooking shows. I got great cooking tips and entertained as well.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm not so sure that Jeff Smith aka The Frugal Gourmet was wrongly accused of molestation - there were actually several men that came forward, not just one intern.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yeah, its not really helpful when they're trying to show you to cook something and everything is pre-measured in and in class bowls. "Just some of this and some of that." Oy, if only it were that easy.
    Dammit, Gillian! Now you've made me hungry for a reuben. XD

    ReplyDelete
  9. It was more like 20 people that came forward in the Jeff Smith case, so yeah, I think "wrongfully" is the wrong word there.

    ReplyDelete
  10. In the mid 70s the Galloping Gourmet came on before Get Smart reruns on the NBC affiliate. I think it was my mom who called Graham Kerr "The Kooky Cook." The Food Network personalities get over-exposed (starting with Emeril-BAM!) and you get sick of them before they start in with their Next Big Personality.

    ReplyDelete
  11. "Armpit Studios", I agree!!! That spiked hair idiot drives me mad! Why is this guy on TV at all??? Also, Man vs. Food is a celebration of obesity in America that makes me want to vomit... Not sure if anyone gets this station over-the-air, but "Create" has some decent cooking shows.

    ReplyDelete
  12. For the most part I agree. But you gotta admit, Rachael Ray is pretty awesome--she wears tie-dyed T-shirts and low-rise jeans with wide 70s-looking belts. How can you not love that? :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yeesh. I thought ol' Jeff was framed. That disturbs me big time - like hearing Fred Rogers was a serial rapist.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Whoa there -- it's easy enough to look up the facts online, so why be lazy and make stuff up? A total of nine young men accused Smith of sexual harassment (not twenty) and seven of them came forward at once after the first two became public knowledge. All of them accepted a cash settlement from his insurance company and no charges were ever brought against Smith. If they were rape victims, they accepted a big fat bribe to let the culprit walk away, free to assault someone else. How crummy is that?

    Of course we have no way of knowing what really happened...but there's reason to consider the possibility this was a frame by guys who worked out they could cash in big time, and Smith could fight it at great expense and still come out with his reputation destroyed, or he could just pay and hope it blew over.

    ReplyDelete
  15. You sir, are the man. I'd gladly buy you a round on this posting alone! Well done!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm afraid I agree with you here - Alton Brown's "Good Eats" has been consistently entertaining and instructive, but lately it's been running as regularly as solar eclipses, overshadowed by nightmare-cake making competitions.

    It's been a while since I'd seen it, but wasn't Graham Kerr the basis for Peter Sellers' character in "There's a Girl in my Soup"?

    ReplyDelete
  17. It's a pity that the Food Network has more programming on reality shows than cooking shows. But then most programming on most networks are reality shows, including the big 3 broadcast ones.

    The cooking shows I truly enjoyed and learned from was Justin Wilson, Graham Kerr, The Frugal Gourmet and Good Eats. The last person I saw that has a good cooking show, even if it was just DVD extras, was Robert Rodriguez and his 10 minute cooking school shorts. If he ever does retire from film-making, he'd make a great cooking show host!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Personally, I love Gordon Ramsay!

    ReplyDelete
  19. How do you feel about Iron Chef? (the original, of course) I'm currently watching it in chronological order to the extent possible.

    ReplyDelete