Vintage Reads #25: Even More Trashy Books

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Time to look at some more vintage paperback debauchery, starting with the book above.  The story sounds thrilling enough, but I just can't get past the tiny foot stool these lovebirds are sitting on.  Were the couch and the bed both taken? The title is "The Empty Bed" - sounds like the bed is wide open.  And is he holding her arm lovingly, or is he about to fall on the floor? One ass cheek is already overboard.

Okay, "Night Walker" just doesn't sound very menacing. How about "Night Stalker" or "Night Prowler" or "Night Strangler"? Now, those are threatening sounding.  If the girl on the cover is running, she should be okay.  The Night Walker just walks.  

"Soon to be released as a major motion picture"..... NOT! I looked up the author and this title in IMDb and came up empty.  There are movies called "The Real Thing", but they bear no resemblance to this book.... and Mr. Nortic is nowhere to be found.  

"... lusty evenings of unrestrained lust" - whoever wrote this back cover was obviously without a thesaurus.  Other masterworks by the same back cover Shakespeare: "... beautiful women of incomparable beauty" and ".... hilarious movie of non-stop hilarity". 

"Short broads and tall ones, big ones and little ones...."  However, judging by the illustration on the back cover, he may not be as fond of variety as he thinks he is.  "I like big butts and I cannot lie. You other brothers can't deny..."

By Crom's Beard! This has got to be one of the strangest books I've come across in a long time.  I get the point - how to please your woman in other ways besides intercourse..... but there's got to be a better way of presenting it.  Note to publishers: the less asexual albinos on a cover the better.

I have to admit, this book was kind of interesting. The author actually interviews 200 male individuals who have lost their unit due to injury or illness.  He found that many became trans-sexuals, others became the "receiver" in gay relationships, but most became heterosexual dynamos, pleasing their women better than ever before!


  1. AnonymousJune 14, 2011

    Why were you reading this stuff you sick basterd

  2. AnonymousJune 15, 2011

    I can understand how the hetero ones were able to please women without their penises. It is a well-guarded secret among women that basic, garden variety intercourse doesn't produce orgasm for most women. I once dated a guy who told me he couldn't understand how lesbians had sex. I dumped him after he told me that. Sleeping with him would have been a waste of time.

  3. AnonymousJune 17, 2011

    You go, girl!