Things I'd Love to See
What if pop icons from the 70's traveled to 2011 to serve up some serious whoopass? What if they committed acts of violence and shame to teach these contemporary celebs a lesson? For instance, I'd die happy if I could see some melismatic American Idol contestant butcher a Beatles song only to have a very unhappy and undead George Harrison emerge from beneath the stage, hands outstretched. At that moment, the camera pans to Jaye P. Morgon and Anson Williams banging the hell out of their gong. Ahhhhh..... sweet, sweet justice.
Call me disturbed if you will. But I'd love it nonetheless.
I'd also love to see Horatio Cane (what a f***ing stupid name!) pose and posture for the camera as usual; but then is demoted when Columbo and Quincy show the Miami fashion plates how grown ups solve crimes.
I'd like to see a "very special episode" of iCarly where Amanda Cosgrove and her friend visit Gordon Jump's bicycle shop.
I'd love to see some shit kicking badasses like Ronnie Van Zant and Waylon Jennings meet up with Fall Out Boy in a dark alley.
I'd love to see that effeminate brooding vampire from Twilight meet up with a real non-sparkling vampire like Christopher Lee.
I'd love to see the Sex in the City gals take a vacation to the country to "get away from it all"; only to be attacked by the I Spit on Your Grave rednecks. Which chick would be the Final Girl? We know it won't be Kim Cattrall.
I'd love to see the last known picture of Lady Gaga, who's gone missing; a fuzzy image with what appears to be Wendy O. Williams and Dale Bozzio holding her at gunpoint.
I'd love to see the new Cosmo cover where a skeletal supermodel is being sat on by the voluptuous Ann Margret.
I'd love to see a new Eddie Murphy movie where he farts and clowns for a paycheck.... then Redd Foxx comes out of nowhere and gives him one "right across his lip"... and then the film abruptly ends.
Those are some things I'd love to see.