I realize the title alone is a turn off to most of you readers. My wife asked me what I was watching on my phone the other night. When I told her it was a movie called Night of the Bloody Apes, she groaned and shook her head, as if to say, “You are a complete moron, and there is no hope for you.”
Let me start by saying that this movie delivered on all counts and I make no apologies. There was an interesting story, hot naked babes, and a bloody ape that took care of business with extreme prejudice. What more do you want?
The movie starts off on the right foot with a little Lucha Libre action. Norma Lazareno plays female wrestler Lucy Ossorio.
Although slight of frame, she evidently does not know her own strength, and throws her opponent out of the ring. We learn later that her opponent, Elena Gomez, has been rendered a human vegetable by this action.
Meanwhile, we have the dude that played Santa in that infamous Mexican Christmas film Santa Claus (the one with the freakish devil…. Look it up). He’s distraught over his boy, Julio, (who looks a lot like Sal Mineo) who’s at death’s door.
What’s the only logical thing to do when your kid is critically ill? You guessed it: replace his heart with a gorilla’s. So, Dr. Krallman and his creepy sidekick Goyo break into the zoo and steal a gorilla.
This is when things get interesting. The heart transplant footage is real, and it’s super graphic. So much so, that it was placed on the “video nasties” list in the 1980s. Nowadays, you’ll find much more gruesome operations on the Discovery Channel; however, back then I imagine it was pretty stomach churning.
Little known fact: When you replace a human heart with a gorilla heart, that human will become half-man/half-gorilla. Poor Julio is transformed into a monster – tall, muscular, and with the head of a grotesque primate! The makeup job is horrible, but for some reason it adds to the scariness of the creature.
We quickly learn that Gorilla-Julio has one thing and only one thing on his mind - and that is getting laid. Indeed, Gorilla-Julio is a freaking sex machine and will stop at nothing to get a hold of some trim. He’s like King Kong on ecstasy.
The scenes of Gorilla-Julio popping the heads off innocent bystanders and raping women were unexpectedly graphic. I was okay with the heart transplant footage, but these scenes seemed out of synch with the rest of the film…. and sure enough, the director added more explicit scenes when it was re-released a few years later. (Click on the links of this post for certain rated R stills. Although not exactly explicit by today's standards, they're still probably NSFW.)
In one scene, Gorilla-Julio scales a building, pulls a chick out of the shower (played by Gina Morett in her first of 80+ films) and starts going to town on her, ultimately tearing her limb from limb. The scene is straight up shocking – not just because of its graphic nature, but because the rest of the movie (minus the surgery) could easily be rated G! It’s like watching an episode of Bewitched and suddenly Dr. Bombay starts murderously raping Samantha. It’s f***ing horrifying.
Anyway, back to the story: Dr. Krallman tranquilizes the bloodthirsty rapist ape-man and brings it back to the lab. This time, he’s not going to be stupid enough to use a gorilla heart on his poor Julio – he’s going to find a living human heart. So, he and Goyo steal Elena Gomez’ comatose body from the hospital (remember, she was tossed from the wrestling ring at the beginning of the film?). Cut to another gory surgical procedure and a butt naked Elena being operated upon (WTF? Did she come back to do nude scenes too? No comprende) .
Well, big surprise, it doesn’t work and Julio still turns into a homicidal perverted gorilla-man. But, this time, the police have a plan… a rather demented plan, in fact. Lt. Arturo Martinez is the boyfriend of the lady wrestler Lucy Ossorio. He tells her to meet him at a deserted park at night, thinking she’ll be perfect bait for the horny ape. Unfortunately, he fails to inform her that she is about to be manhandled by a human-gorilla hybrid, so she thinks her beau is just planning a romantic walk in the moonlight.
Bottom line: It's a badly acted movie with bad effects and horrible dubbing. However, it makes for a surprisingly entertaining watch. It's no cerebral film to be sure;.but as far as old-school monster movies go, this one's solid gold.