Ads #45: Health & Hygiene

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When I first read this ad, I thought it was designed for "special needs children".  Of course, this was well before that PC term was coined (and I missed that crucial "of"), but you get my drift.  Plus, that mother's "okay" sign is just a little bit troubling.  Perhaps, she's Italian and she's giving us the sign to f**k off.

And speaking of non-PC language.... Ye Gods! They're marketing their lotion as an alternative to being fat! Even if they'd used the term "overweight", it still would've been wildly inappropriate. And is it even true that fat people don't have dry skin? Somehow, I doubt it.

Brilliant. A snot colored Kleenex box. It even has the texture of dried boogers.  

Maybe I'm just distracted by the marvelous shag here, but what is this chick looking at? Is this something she would wear? It looks like it could be an Indian papoose - is she expecting? In which case the need for trendy sanitary napkins may be null and void.

Ladies, wouldn't it just be your luck to finally land that astronaut gig.... and lift-off falls on that time of the month! Not to worry - the International Space Station bathrooms are stocked with Tampax.

It's times like this that I'm disgusted with my modern-day jaded sensibility. I can't help it. It looks like she's having phone sex and..... God knows where that soap has been.

Also available are Dulcolax Anal Suppository ankle bracelets and Vagisil Feminine Wash Scrunchies. Order now while they're still in stock!


  1. As a fat person I can assure you we get dry skin too. No matter how much lotion I use or how much I exfoliate, my elbows just refuse to be soft.

  2. my skin becomes bacon on a hot day. I need that cream.

  3. The Dermassage ad probably worked because fat people were relatively rare before 1980, so the actual characteristics of a fat lady could be imagined instead of known.

    Not rare today, for sure! Half the people you see in WalMart today would have been overqualified to work as The Amazing Fat Lady in a 1930's carnival. Even within the fakey context of a sideshow, nobody would have believed it.

  4. LOL...have to agree with Polistra, sadly. Obese people used to be a rare sight.

  5. Folks had thicker skin back then, so they weren't as easily as offended...plus as Polistra said...there was a lot less fat folks back then. I recall when I was a kid there was at least one fat kid, today its probably more than half the school that is overweight.

  6. I don't think the need for Tampax should be the lovely red-headed space walker major concern. The large cutout in the front of her helmet looks lide real trouble.