I think we all know where this is headed. That's right - two generous helpings of pancakes. As I've mentioned before, you'd be hard pressed to find a picture of people in the seventies in a social setting NOT within minutes of pancakes. Combine (1) the sexual revolution, (2) drug experimentation gone amok, (3) women's liberation, and (4) tens of millions of Baby Boomers all in their prime, and what do you get? All you can eat pancakes.
It's time once again to put to work your deductive reasoning and utilize a discerning eye to tell whether the scenes are innocent moments in time or mere seconds before an explosion of Seventies Pancakes. Indeed, in the blink of an eye any one of these photos has the potential to become unfit for Retrospace. Were I to show you the very next shot from any of these pictures, and Retrospace could be immediately condemned by Google.
And if pancake predicting isn't your bag, you can still enjoy these snapshots of 1970s life, overflowing with bad fashion and unconscionable decor. Let's have a look!
Let's not jump to conclusions here, folks. Just because we have two African American males and a saucy young lady near a bed doesn't mean anything's going to happen, does it?...... Who am I kidding. Two chocolate pancakes, coming right up!
I don't think it's his tattoo of a Dutch trading ship (?) or his ample sideburn-mustache combo that makes me think "pancakes". It's the way he's leering at this chick..... like he's been out to see for months, and now he's got a fever. A fever for pancakes.
Okay, I don't see a guy anywhere in this picture, but you don't power through alcohol like this unless you're steeling yourself for some major league pancakes. I don't know what these two ladies are drinking this liquid courage for.... but I have a feeling this is a pancake recipe that I don't want to learn. Godspeed, ladies!
I'm not passing judgment - people do what they want to do. I don't give a damn. However, a word of warning to these two young ladies: Once you try this pancake, you will never be satisfied with plain old buttermilk pancakes again. Think this through.
This one is a toss up. In the next five minutes there's either going to be a simple gathering of friends engaged in affable conversation.... or a gathering of friends engaged in very un-affable pancake party. What say you? If I was a betting man, I'd err on the side of pancakes (since this is, after all, the seventies).
Once again, same thing here, right? Three genial friends engaged in pleasant small talk. What in the world would lead you to think pancakes are in their near future? I think this time, I'll put my money on "NO PANCAKES". After all, not every gathering in the seventies resulted in pancake making. People actually did just talk and socialize on occasion. Get your mind out of the gutter.
Dammit! I should have known. Remember the golden rule - if you don't know, but the picture appears to be from the seventies, always err on the side of pancakes.
The guy on the right (I'll call him "Shaggy") looks pleased, yet his buddy in red looks absolutely confused - or perhaps just mesmerized by what stands before him. Could it be he has never tried pancakes before?
Oh, Dear Lord. Okay, I think it's time to shut'er down, folks. As much as I love these pancake illustrations, even I know when to call it day.
What can I say? When you play with the seventies, you're playing with fire. Best to leave this decade before our pancakes get burned. Adios.