6/4/12

Ads #50: Love Dolls


 
Is there anything more disturbing than a guy with a life size inflatable love doll? I don't have a clue about current men's magazines, but vintage men's rags were overflowing with blow up babes - so, there must've been a market.

 
The ad above is one of my favorites.  Are we to believe that this doll is going to look this lifelike? And check out the text: ".... you can put me in the car as your traveling companion.... or even hold me in your lap and tell me all your secrets." Here's some free advice to all you fellas out there - if you're whispering secrets to a blow up doll, you've officially hit rock bottom.  Time to buy a Tony Robbins tape and make some life changes.

 

 
And dig the guy's nifty "peace sign", as if to let us know he's about to fill Judy with a lot more than air. If that weren't enough, the pictures in the bottom left make it appear that Jane will actually move around like a real person! Other highlights:

  • For an extra seven bucks you get the "Super Pak" which includes a bikini, peek-a-boo negligee and wig.
  • Instead of lily white Judy, you can buy the "negro" doll, Susan.
  • "At parties I generally cause a mild sensation."
  • Evidently, this doll was featured on "Love American Style". WTF?

Here's a few more....

 
 
 
Okay, this next one's not a blow up doll, but for some reason I'm more creeped out by this than the dolls. 
 
 
Anyway, this whole blow up doll thing wouldn't be so unnerving if it wasn't so popular (given its ubiquity in these old magazines).  I won't go down the dark road of trying to figure out why or how this sort of thing meets a need in many males. Perhaps, it's no more than a "power" thing, or fear of being rejected or ridiculed by a real live female.
 
I know there's been a lot of movies which have flirted with the notion of a robot love doll (ex. Cherry 2000), and God only knows what went on Star Trek Next Generation's Holodeck after hours.  Logan's Run came close with its Love Slave On Demand technology.  One wonders what will become of us when men can get their lovin' from an android or virtual girl. No commitments, no repercussions, no sacrifice, and always without blemish or faults. The human race may literally become extinct.
 
God help us all.
 
She costs $1,999.89 plus shipping and handling.  To get one double jointed will cost you $50 extra.
 

28 comments:

  1. Have you every watched the doco 'guys and dolls'? It is about the next evolution of the blow up doll, these silicon 'real dolls'. Some of the guys in there I'm just waiting to see on 'most wanted'. After all, they're talking about how dolls are better than women because 'you don't have to ask'. Very much a power thing, I think. Although some of them are clearly just lonely and in need of companionship. Well worth a watch.

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    1. Ick. I don't know if I have the stomach to watch that. I do wonder if there's such a thing as "gals and dolls" - or are males the only gender perverted enough to get their lovin' from an inflatable doll?

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    2. I believe they make male versions of the Real Dolls. I looked at the website out of curiosity years ago. They even can make them look like your favorite actor or actress.

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    3. "They even can make them look like your favorite actor or actress"

      Cool. I want to buy a Charles Nelson Reilly doll... oh, and a Gabe Kaplan doll would be cool too. And while we're at it, an Ace Frehley doll would be pretty awsome for the living room.

      Man, it could be a seventies version of Madame Tussaud's at the old Gilligan manor. You may be on to something.

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  2. Here's something that's a little disturbing for you...a similar blow-up ad that was in a 1970 comic book: http://aeiouwhy.blogspot.com/2012/01/mail-order-monday-inflatable-doll-1970.html

    Also, on the same subject, I highly recommend tracking down the horror movie Love Object.

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  3. That is definitely not a peace sign. In fact, I don't think that guy knows what he's saying.

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  4. Holy crap! What a blast from the past. I remember the one with the "doll" serving 2 glasses of wine. It was in many of my brother's magazines stashed in his closet. I'll have to lock myself in the bathroom now. Who needs a $9.95 doll when the magazine ad works so well?

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  5. yeah that def is NOT a 'peace sign' in my book. in the UK at least, that's known as 'flicking the V-sign' and is a rather rude gesture. in this context i quite like it - its like the guy is saying "i got my inflatable babe, now you and the world can fuck off"

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  6. I remember part of that Love American Style episode. Arte Johnson uses an inflatable doll to make a girl in his appartment building jealous. He has the drapes closed and a bright light so she can see a shadow of him with the "doll." She final calls and tells him she will come over to his appartment. He can get the doll to deflate the normal way so he stabs it with a kitchen knife and if flies around the room (Not logical, but funny). An old lady in the appartment sees the shadows on the drapes and thinks he has murdered his girlfriend. She calls the cops. I can't remember the rest of it.

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    1. Paul DucaJune 10, 2012

      And don't forget the scene in FOUL PLAY where Goldie Hawn goes back to Dudley Moore's apartment, fully equipped with every sexual device imaginable, including TWO blow-up dolls, one with "Yes" and the other "No" on the panties.
      "Yes" took a spin around the room in the wake of Moore's embarrassment when Hawn made it clear that is NOT why she was there.

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  7. Recent "HOUSE" episode featured the 21st Century version of these blow up dolls. The "made in Japan" Custom made sex dolls.
    http://www.weirdasianews.com/2007/05/22/japan-life-like-customized-sex-dolls-6500-adult/

    Still pretty fracking creepy!

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  8. I believe that's a "V for victory" sign. Churchill used it in WWII. Interesting that it's seen as a rude gesture in the UK now.

    No wonder my mom made me quit watching Love American Style.

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  9. Steve McQueen gives that same finger salute in the film "Le Mans." There are a few interpretations of exactly what it means, which you can read about here: http://stvmcqueen.tripod.com/lesalute.htm

    I always find it amusing that these ads for blow-up dolls never showed a picture of the actual doll for sale, but used female models. And I've heard that in about 10 years in Japan, those robot sex dolls will be widely available for purchase.

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  10. Is there anything more disturbing? Probably, but I don't want to think about it. Certainly, it makes for the most disturbing song in the Roxy Music songbook: "In Every Dream Home a Heartache"

    Disposable darling
    Can't throw you away now
    Immortal and life size
    My breath is inside you
    I'll dress you up daily
    And keep you till death sighs

    Sadly, no video, though you can hear it here on YouTube whist staring at the vision of loveliness that is Amanda Lear.

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  11. The poster one is of a doll. It was on an episode of the Night Gallery call "The Doll". Look it up and see if you agree.

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  12. there are two V-signs in the UK. the first is the churchill 'victory' sign (palm facing out). the second, as above, with the back of the hand facing out, basically means 'piss off'. it has been largely superseded by the american middle finger gesture, but is still in use.

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  13. AnonymousJune 05, 2012

    Damn, where's that last picture from?

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  14. Another good song on the subject was The Police's "Be My Girl, Sally."
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeecRrhnCZk
    I mean, it's no "Cold Ethel" by Alice Cooper, but come on what is?

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    Replies
    1. Heh, at least Ethel was animate at one point. 2 superb songs.

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  15. This one goes out to the one I love
    This one goes out to the one I've left behind
    A simple prop to occupy my time
    This one goes out to the one I love

    All these songs mentioned and no one states the obvious: REM.

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  16. There's the joke about the man who buys an inflatable sex doll but he finds it has a puncture the first time he tries to use it. He takes it back to the shop for a refund and says to the shopkeeper "Hey, this dummy went down on me!" and the shopkeeper replies "If I knew they did that, I would have charged you an extra $20"

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  17. Wow,that "Blossom" chick in the last picture sure grew up hot.And did strip tease as well!

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  18. In an episode of "Six Feet Under", a porn shop is delivering a truck load of already inflated dolls full of helium to some party or something....anyway the cover comes off and the dolls float up. Meanwhile this uber religious lady sees the dolls floating up and thinks it's the rapture and steps out into oncoming traffic and is killed. It's funnier than I've described.

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  19. AnonymousJune 10, 2012

    Love Dolls are for sale at Spencer Gifts at the mall right now. The models I saw were made to look like, umm, Lindsay Lowhand, Chris Agulara and Brittany Spires. Let's hope these are strictly gag gifts.

    In a famous episode of The Twilight Zone called "The Lonely", a convict exiled to an earth-like asteroid was given a female robot for companionship. When the episode was posted on YouTube, the comments were immediately flooded with vile sarcasm.

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    Replies
    1. Paul DucaJune 10, 2012

      That's a rude thing to do...especially since the android woman was played by Jean Marsh, who went on to create and star in UPSTAIRS, DOWNSTAIRS (original and new versions).

      Delete
  20. AnonymousJune 24, 2012

    Fascinating web site, but at $6,000 per, more expensive than the real thing!

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  21. Considering the vast difference between the product and the picture in the ad, these are adult versions of the deceptive ads for the "Polaris Sub," Tank" and Rocket Ship" cardboard box toys.

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  22. The man on the first ad looks like the young Charles Bronson.

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