7/5/12

Vintage Men's Mags #26: Awesome Girly Magazine Headlines


If "Nicky the Skin Eater", "Sex Slaves for Sale" or "Wet Magic of Joyce" are headlines that grab your interest, then this may be your kind of post.  It became a laughable cliche to claim you read girly magazines "for the articles".... yet, some of these headlines almost make me want to skip the pictures!

Basically, I consider a headline interesting if it has any of these three qualities:
1. It is ridiculously excessive in its attempt to be lurid or shocking
2. It is so peculiar that it arouses curiosity
3. It attempts to be scandalous, but is hilariously outmoded

Let me know which of these are your favorites, or recall one not on the list.  As usual, click on the images to enlarge.  Enjoy!





"The Next Turn On: Wireheading"
What the hell is that? Quite honestly, I'm afraid to Google it.


"Does It Pay To Be a Wolf? Full Results of Exclusive Survey"
Interesting.  I'm curious to see their data.  Perhaps I've been playing it all wrong all these years.

"What's Wrong with Redheads... Answered with Full Color"
Aha! I always knew there was something wrong with redheads.  Now, I have the answer.... in full color no less!


"Sir Francis and His Sex-Ins"
"What? Not with Live Snakes?"


"The Truth About Those Riviera Orgies"
"Tank Warfare Is Hell"
"A Bevy of Beauties to Blast You Right Out of Your Easy Chair!
This last one may be my favorite of them all.  That Blast headline author was quite the wordsmith.


"Pat Takes the Pill"
"Is Your Wife a Lez?"
"Does It Pay to Beat Your Wife?"


"Kidnapped by a Nutty Nympho"
"Escape of the Dog Girl"
"Nude Beatnik's Wild Party"


"How Big Busted Girls Become Frigid!"
"Why Men Are Sadistic to Their Wives and Kind to Their Mistresses"


"Nylons in the Wilderness"
"Doggy on the Leg Line"
"The Sneaker Racket'


"Burn, Witch Burn - Wild Rites in a Sex Hideout"
"Why Work? You Can Win $200 a Week Gambling!"
"Uncensored Confessions of a Way-Out Sex Kitten"


"The Curious Case of Casanova's Couch"


"LSD: Key to Heaven or Hell?
"Boxing Is a Dirty Old Man"
"I'm a Lesbian - Not a Criminal!''


"Penny's Private Peel Party"
What kind of party? Anyone out there have a clue what I can expect to find at Penny's party?


"D Cup that Cheers"

"The Canadian Fun Set"
I'm thinking this article is about guys that drink beer and watch hockey.


"Miss Super Boobs '72"
"Lesbianism & Other Far-Out Deviations"


"Paula's Potted Friend"


"Up Front Look at Male Falsies"
WTF are they talking about? Dildos, perhaps?

"Charles Manson's Crucifixion Orgy"
This I gotta read.


"Miles of Wiggles"


"The Sudden Tragedy that Stalks Interracial Sex"



"From Baskets to Bogus Bangs"
I can't help it.  I'm intrigued.


"The Night They Had a Hundred Partners"
"When I Need Her, I Get Her - The Fabulous Double-Quickie"


"Hot Dog Surfer"


"William Burroughs Meets the Goat God"


"Your Very Own Pocket Rocket!"


"The Naked Chanteuse"
FYI chanteuse = singer


"Please Mummy, We'd Rather Do It Ourselves!"
"Tina's Twin Pipe Tune-Up"
"Poop Deck Playboys"


"The Chinese Sex Puzzle"

And the winner is...


"NUDES LOOSE IN A POOL HALL!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

15 comments:

  1. for the Tip Top magazine cover: help, i've fallen and i can't get up? idk

    ReplyDelete
  2. Um, it's Nicky The Skin Beater, not Nicky The Skin Eater.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Okay, now that I've gotten through it all (sorry, I had to reply the instant I saw the Beater/Eater thing) -

    1: The best thing I can find that would explain wireheading as it would be in that magazine is this thing where they put wires in to stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain directly.

    2: That chick on the Broadside is rather flat, isn't she? Just kind of shocking after seeing all the other busty women. It's a bunch of Ds and DDs and then suddenly BOOM! B-cup.

    ReplyDelete
  4. These are all completely awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  5. For the uninitiated, a peel party is a striptease party or, alternately, a stripping competition. Now you know.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJuly 05, 2012

    MITT ROB-ME IS GONNA TAKE AWAY ALL YOUR PORN!

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousJuly 05, 2012

    "Frolic" is a brand of dog food, at least in Europe. "Does it pay to be a wolf?" as the headline above reads. No, Fido. Stay at home and get a bowl of Frolic instead.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Paul DucaJuly 05, 2012

    TIP TOP presumably was trying to be a little more uptown...the Herb Caen credited on the cover is a San Francisco legend, serving as a columnist for the CHRONICLE newspaper from 1937 until his death 60 years later. He coined the term "Baghdad-By-The-Bay" to describe the city.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Paul DucaJuly 05, 2012

    When will I be "Kidnapped by a Nutty Nympho"?!?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Broadside also seems to have made an effort to have some class, with that article by famous novelist Henry Miller.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The boxing article by Tony Zale also looks interesting. (Tony Zale had a series of brutal championship fights with Rocky Graziano.)

      Delete
  11. "Wireheading" appears in some of Larry Niven's science fiction novels. It is, as a previous poster said, direct electrostimulation of the brain's pleasure centres. Spider Robinson's novel "Mindkiller" also mentions it, but by a different name.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Paul DucaJuly 07, 2012

    Isn't "wireheading" what they do to lab rats?

    ReplyDelete
  13. These mags are attractive to me, even I'm a woman. They make you feel curious and make you feel like peeping, which make you feel BAD. They are sexy, not misogynist like todays, even ridiculous. I want to see the lesbian one and hope the crazy "tips" are "helpful".

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousJuly 14, 2012

    Who's that on the cover of Escort? WOW ...
    (Runner-up: Escapade girl)

    ReplyDelete