8/3/12

Fotonovelas #2




Tragedy thy name is Fotonovela!  You want to see vintage pics of sadness, brutality, and perversity, there is no better place to look than the Spanish language rags known as fotonovelas.  Basically, they're like comic books but with photos instead of illustrations.  They come in all types of genres, some fairly benign, and some so incredibly audacious they literally scream for attention on Retrosapce.

I've covered more than my share of over-the-top vintage adult periodicals. There's the often depraved fumetti, and the much maligned crime magazine.  Of course, those men's action mags were no slouch in the over-the-top department either.  But I'd have to say the fotonovela is easily a contender for being the most audacious, ribald, batshit crazy of them all.


Well, rather than just throw a hundred covers at you as I'm often prone to do, I think these deserve special care and attention. I couldn't live with myself if I neglected to comment and over-analyze every one of these.

1
How awesome is this?  Say what you will about these fotonovelas, they don't want for enthusiasm.  They really put their heart into making them exciting, and pull no punches.  Who could resist buying this?

Never mind the fact that our sweater-vested villain appears to be attacking the nurse with a comb. She must really really hate people messing with her hair.  I can understand that.


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2
He appears to be wearing something from the Loverboy fashion line: sweatband, wife beater shirt, and tight leather pants.
Evidence of Alien Technology? You be the judge.
I encourage you to decipher what this woman is retrieving from her purse.  What in the hell is it?

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That's right, m'lady.  Wear gloves when touching the precious Bill Cosby sweater.  It's very, very precious.


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A point of confusion here.  "El Velador" translates to "The Lamp", so I don't quite get that. I'm a typical monolingual 'merican.  Any Spanish speaking folks out there that can help me with the translations on some of these covers?  My title for this cover would have been "When the station wagon's a'rockin' don't come a'knockin'"


Also, is that a chick or a tranny in the car?  Whatever the gender, I dig those candy-apple red platform shoes.  Outta sight.
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What the -? Hey that isn't cool! Well, when the fotonovela is called "Valley of Tears", what else would you expect?  Call me crazy, but the boy looks a lot like Donny Osmond.  This would be a page from Tiger Beat I'd love to see...

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With all these disturbing reports coming from Mexico, getting attacked by a crazed hobo is probably the least of your worries.

Here's a Mexican tourism poster I'd love to see...



11 comments:

  1. So, in the first someone is getting attacked with a comb, and in the second someone is pulling an electric razor out of her purse?

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  2. The first cover suggests to me that the 'hero' has just torn his moustache from his face and is trying to apply it to the 'nurse's' top lip.
    I think the second picture depicts the protagonist stealing cutlery while the home-owners attention is distracted.

    Do I win the car?

    OSM

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree about the cutlery, and it obviously comes from the drawer.

      Delete
  3. Mexico: Land of Crime, Violence and Pancakes. Sweet, sweet pancakes.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi! "El velador" means "the lamp", yes, but it also means "the night watchman", which is the case here. De nada, amigo! :) Marcelo.

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  5. The stuff in the lady's hand looks more like a couple of zit vacuums to me than cutlery, but it could just be that it's blurry and I'm tired.

    And as for the comb, remember, one of the wicked step-mother's weapons against Snow White in the original story was a comb. Once put into her hair Snow White fainted, but was revived when one of the dwarfs pulled it out.

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  6. Dude, "tranny" is a slur, that ain't cool.

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    Replies
    1. Damn straight !
      The term should be "Transistor".

      Delete
  7. This is latin spanish, very different than the spanish that we talk in Spain, but to answer your question El velador can be translated as The Watchman or The Night Watchman.

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  8. I also thought that the item being taken from the purse was an electric razor. Either that, or a can opener. In the "Donny Osmond" pic, is he hiding behind his sister? Por que?

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  9. "Valle de Lagrimas" = Valley of Tears

    ReplyDelete