Vintage Reads #39

The Man with Three Chins: first in a series by Delano Ames followed by The Man with Three Testicles.  Aside from the horrible title, it's actually kind of a cool cover - I dig the different perspectives through the lenses.  Also, have you ever read a book review that put it so plainly? "You'll enjoy the story."

This is the most insane book I've ever seen.  What in the ever lovin' f**k is going on here? Here's the description from the back:

It could be the world's only practicing 90-year-old Don Juan and his latest flame, a dimpled ex-movie queen with bitchy, grown-up twin sons ... It could be Topsy Alcott. legendary proprietress of the oh-so-in Tara Club .. or Topsy's murderous seductive daughters. Meg. Beth, Jo and Amy .. Or 1t could very well be the newest, coolest, deadliest singing sensation of the season, Miss Ocelot. 
Whoever's absconded with Pharoah Love, the campiest cop in Pop City, they're up to their made-up necks in simply shocking scandal and fabulously brutal murder (-but listen, darling, what a way to go!) 
TOPSY AND EVIL is the kind of book that would make Myra Breckinridge blanch from sheer envy

I've covered this topic in detail in my occult posts... but the questions still remains: Why in world was this sort of stuff so ever-lovin' huge in the seventies? Demonic possession, witchcraft, astrology, occultism, etc. were all points of interest for a huge percentage of the population.

This cover reminds me of a "In Search of..." movie.  Yes, the TV series actually put out a few movies.  I recall one being about death.  It scared the crap out of me - I vaguely remember a scene where witnesses claim to actually have scene the spirits leaving the graves and ascending to the heavens.  For some reason it gave me the creeps.  Being confronted with my own mortality via Leonard Nimoy's creepy voice was a bit much for this young lad to take.

Bridget Loves Bernie isn't available on DVD (big surprise); however, even if it was, I think I'd have trouble watching it.  According to Meredith Baxter, he was a real abusive douche.  Plus, I'm just not okay seeing Elise Keaton with anyone except Michael Gross.

Note the back cover:  "... a mysterious kidnapper who spends most of his time delivering sandwiches."  What the hell?

Well, she's having a smoke on a clear bubble seat.  I'm not sure what that tells me about her other than her her ass is sweaty.

Hey, look.  It's another Julius Fast book..... and years later the covers still have that maniacal questioning going on.  "Should I smile or play it cool?".... because everyone knows cool people don't smile.

Not for the casual drinker I guess.  This guide forgoes any pretext of coolness associated with drinking - just a rabid desire to get wasted.  Classy.

Tell me you didn't instantly think of Ron Burgundy when you saw this.  Of particular interest: "his many loves".

"The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show...." (kisses biceps) "... and see if she likes the goods."

Look, I don't have any doubt this is a good book.  This cover, however, is AWFUL. So sorry to plant this image into your brain, but if I'm going to suffer with it, I want company.

In stark contrast is this next book, which may have had Bram Stoker spinning in his grave, but wins sold cool points at Retrospace.


  1. So, that Spanish book; is it about naked women peeing on retards?

    1. Naked AND armless.

  2. I want to read Disco Dracula! That one looks fun!

  3. I remember when that body language book was new and was actually on the stands in bookstores, supermarkets, drug stores, etc. There was also one about subliminal messages in advertising which had a picture of a tumbler full of ice and (presumably) some sort of booze, with a caption that said "are you being sexually aroused by this picture?".

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  5. I wonder if the interest in the occult, spiritualism, and so on in the 1970s was not unlike the same phenomenon in the 1920s. After the devastation of the Great War, many in Europe were obsessed with "the other side," seeking to make some sense of the carnage and get some closure. Could the same be true of the US in the 1970s during and after Viet Nam?

  6. I think I've seen that Bar Guide before. I love covers too and frequently post one kind or another. Nothing like a great cover to catch the eye.