Album Covers #32: Bad Covers

When I see some of these godawful vinyl atrocities, I can't help but pause and reflect: How is that no one, from the beginning of the process to the printing of the sleeve, stepped in and said, "Wait a minute, guys.  I think we're making a huge mistake."

Of course, the worse they are, the more I love them.  It's an affliction I have. I can't love the horrid Magical Mystery Tour cover because the Beatles knew better.  But I can love the Johnny Zamot as Incredible Hulk cover.  Sure, the Hulk never wore a goatee, but that's part of its charm. 

For the better part of my life (no exaggeration) I have been amazed at how the more grandfatherly the music, the more sexually explicit the cover.  If it's a rock record, chances are it's just the band or some artistic rendering.  If it's the accordion, the Hammond organ, or easy listening strings, chances are the cover will be borderline porn.

One of these days I'm going to get around to tackling 80s metal. Never has there existed on Planet Earth anything so tacky. It simply begs for a Retrospace post.

Oh, come on now.  Really?

Do you know what that yellow stuff is shooting out his ear?  That's Soren's dignity ejecting itself from his body.

I mentioned Magical Mystery Tour earlier.  If the Beatles can do it, so can Sophie & Magaly.   Papa Penguin is just a tad on the disturbing side

Yeah, I know. Most of these are European.  Let's just say there's fertile ground in those parts for a post like this.

This cover makes me uncomfortable.  I feel like they are undressing me with their eyes.  Is it possible to be sexually harassed by an album cover?

Speaking of dirty looks - here's another perpetrator...

I looked this fella up and evidently he's the most successful performer in Eurovision history.  Not exactly a household name in the States.

And I've saved the best for last.

1 comment:

  1. Geez, what's the matter with you? The last cover is just a sweet little girl licking a, well, a, never mind.