In the back of men's magazines you had tawdry ads for stag films and blow-up dolls; in the back pages of boys' magazines you had monster stuff. Today, we're looking at the latter. (Besides, we've already done blow up dolls.)
Naturally, these things often wound up being falsely advertised rip-offs, but did it really matter? It was just so damn cool browsing through the awesome stuff you'll never own.
Here's the one toy in this post that I actually did own. I'll never forget it - my cousin got me a wolfman model and I thought I'd died and gone to monster-nerd heaven. They really did glow (probably radium infused Styrene, and I'm going to have cancer because of it.... best not to think about that).
(click to enlarge) Awesome artwork by Jack Davis. The only illustrator who perhaps could outdo Davis in the Frankie department was John Severin - that man could draw a mean Frankenstein!
Probably worth their weight in albino rhino horn today. I'm guessing some of these graduated to become the coolest cocaine paraphernalia in town during the seventies. But what's with the glaring lack of Drac?
Cool item, but lousy looking advert. Do we really need a partially obscured Uncle Fester close up in the corner? Hard to believe this was selling for under two bucks!
Speaking of obscured faces with disturbing eye close-ups, here's a couple more. The Frankenstein Monster crying bloody tears is profoundly troubling.
Of course, most of these ads come from the coolest magazine ever (no, not Juggs) - Famous Monsters of Filmland. Always a reliable source for cool toys in the back pages.
Behead your victim over, and over, and over again! It's decapiterrific!
I'm sure it was neat... but "greatest invention ever made"? I think not. That honor goes to the Cool Ranch Doritos Taco.
The hand is so freaking tiny. It's not "spooky" and Thing wasn't green..... or was it? The Addams Family wasn't in color. Hmmmm.
Speaking of disembodied hands, here's one that looks interesting. Yet, I sincerely doubt it was this lifelike. I'd love to see what it actually looked like.
Endless torturing fun. Makes a perfect holiday gift for any blossoming serial killer.
Stephen King's Creepshow was, of course, an ode to EC comics which contained great mail-order ads in the back pages. The Venus Fly Trap ad is utilized in the animated portion of the film to great effect.
Wolf Man looks too big for his "wagon" - in fact, it's painful for me to even look at. Methinks the Wolf Man is better off traveling on foot.