4/29/13

Mini Skirt Monday #151: Hawaii Five-0


There was more to Hawaii Five-0 than just Jack Lord's awesome hair.  There were also miniskirts.  If you could avert your eyes from Lord's godlike pate, there were plenty o' minis to bee seen.

In this post we not only have a bunch of Five-0 minis, but also a brief bio for each actress that's wearing them.  Some interesting, some not-so-much.

Anyway, book dem miniskirts, Dano! (It had to be said.  Better to get it over with early.)



Kathleen Cannon

Kathleen would go on to tons of TV work including a lead role on Father Murphy (remember that sappy show with Merlon Olson?) and Beverly Hills 90210 - she played Tori Spelling's mom.

Kathleen Cannon
That's her in the red mini.... and that's Martin Sheen beside her!

Kathleen Cannon
Hawaii Five-0 earns points for gratuitous miniskirts.  Here, Kathleen is in her prison uniform. Yeah, you read that right. Prison minis.

Linda Marsh
Linda evidently was an accomplished thespian, playing alongside the big leaguers like Sir John Gielgud.   Then she hopped from guest spot to guest spot on Mannix, Perry Mason, The Six Million Dollar Man, The Mod Squad, etc... not really going anywhere.  She quit for good in '79.

Linda Marsh
Charlotte Couch
Charlotte plays a nurse who gets killed and painted like a hooker before the intro theme even roles.  She has no speaking lines and never appeared in anything before or after.

Marjorie Battles
Marjorie Battles plays another hapless victim of the perverted serial killer.  No lines, and very little screen time.  Evidently Marjorie had mental problems and threw herself onto a subway track in the mid eighties.  Sort of makes her all-too-brief scene in Five-0 all the more disturbing.


Sheilah Wells
Sheilah place yet another hapless victim with very little to do except scream and get attacked.  Trivia: She was best friends with Sharon Tate.

Beth Brickell
Beth Brickell's addition to the Hawaii Five-0 pantheon of minis is of special significance.  She stays in this yellow mini dress the entire episode and she's in almost every scene.  Perhaps among the top 10 TV miniskirt episodes in terms of duration.

Beth Brickell
At one point, you think Jack Lord is going to tag it, but he's far too "buy the books" to get it on with a woman he's supposed to be protecting.



Trivia: Beth is from Arkansas and has always been politically active, especially as a supporter for the Bill Clinton presidential campaign.

You don't think Beth and Bill did a little, you know....... that Bill and her participated in a bit of......naahhhh.

Joanna Barnes
Joanna is primarily known for her role as the goldigger in the original Parent Trap.

Sheila Larkin
Sheila Larkin plays a chick who gets hypnotized to shoot a high diver (don't ask).  She's primarily known as being Dana Scully's mom on The X Files.

Jennifer Billingsley
Jennifer Billingsley was Burt Reynolds' main squeeze in my favorite hick flick, White Lighting.  She also had top billing in the atrocious The Thirsty Dead (1974).


You'll notice a young Tom Skerritt, who plays her boyfriend with real anger issues.  I really want to read what's on that paper...



Looks like "East West Center originated in statehood pride." Could it actually be a Hawaiian newspaper?

Julie Gregg
Julie Gregg was Sandra Corleone in The Godfather (I and II).  In this episode she plays a grieving widow.... or (spoiler alert) maybe not so grieving.

Loretta Switt
I was really surprised to see Hot Lips Houlihan as a drunk girl in a miniskirt who gets killed  (as often happens on Five-0) before the theme song rolls.


The show could be surprisingly brutal.  It's portrayals of violence were often very direct, in focus, an unwavering.  This scene in particular was genuinely disturbing.  The killer very graphically murders Hot Lips.... something I'm sure both Frank and Hawkeye have dreamed of doing on more than one occasion..

So, let's end on a bright note with the winner for shortest miniskirt of them all.  That honor goes to Barbara Luna.


Luna was the first choice to play Anita in West Side Story (a role that went to Rita Moreno).  On Five-0 she graces the screen with not one but two micro minis.  And for that, we thank her.


THE END


18 comments:

  1. Very nice.

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  2. Film Score Monthly has an extensive cheesecake photo section called "Hawaai Five-O-Yum!" which I'd recommend to any of us with spare time to look and that includes me.
    I remember Jennifer Billingsley from "C C And Company" as Hot Biker Chick #1. No miniskirt for her but she made do with tight jeans and an Oscar-worthy naval.

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    1. Is she related to Barbara or Peter?

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  3. This was awesome pal. You still are the man ! Barbara Luna just made my day !!!! I miss you pal. Anthony (sanitation)

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    1. I can't believe I just got a comment from the Great One - Sanitation. So glad to hear from you, man!

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  4. You missed another appearance of Loretta Switt on Five-Oh. She played the love interest of a biological weapons weapons expert who intended to unleash a plague on the Islands as a political protest. I have to admit I was too busy staring at her hemline and legs to follow the investigation.

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    1. And followed that up as a woman forced to fake a suicide attempt so her fiance would be brought out of protective custody, to be subsequently liquidated by the bad guys. But as they didn't want any upskirt issues as she stood on a hotel ledge, she wore a mumu.

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  5. They filmed 5-0 in Hawaii, so it probably is a Hawaiian newspaper.

    Jack Lord is the man.

    Minis and Hawaii go together much better than Minis and Minnesota.

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    1. I was able to see the back page of one in a scene to know it was an ad for Liberty House, the main department store at the time.

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  6. Hawaii Five-O: GREATEST THEME SONG EVER!

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  7. Joanna Barnes was also Jane in the 1959 version of "Tarzan", one of the worst adaptations of that story.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiPW0JY3gYw

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    1. AnonymousMay 04, 2013

      She was also in "The War Wagon" with Kirk and The Duke, and she hosted a daytime show in the mid-60s with Rona Barrett called "Dateline: Hollywood."

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    2. Paul DucaMay 04, 2013

      Joanna Barnes' biography is one of the unlikeliest ever in Hollywood. Raised in suburban Boston (in the pre-Levittown era when that was for the elite) she graduated from Smith College (one of the "Seven Sisters", a.k.a. female Ivy League) and took a job at TIME magazine to start her journalism career...no plans at all for show biz. However, a friend's mother sent Joanna's picture into a talent search contest, earning her a contract with Warner Brothers. Her background made her a good type for blueblood parts, like the snobby fiance of Rosalind Russell's nephew in AUNTIE MAME.

      She was also the proto-Mrs. Columbo, as the ex-wife of a sloppy but savvy lawyer played by Peter Falk in the short-lived series THE TRIALS OF O'BRIEN. And as mentioned, with DATELINE:HOLLYWOOD she was a pioneer in what we now call infotainment. In recent decades she has turned from acting back to her original goal of writing--she did play the goldigger's mom in the Lindsey Lohan version of PARENT TRAP--and has several books to her credit.

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  8. Of course, to most of us, Barbara Luna will always be Marlena from the
    "Mirror, Mirror" episode of Star Trek TOS. The "Captain's Woman."

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    1. Paul DucaMay 04, 2013

      The "Captain's Woman"? You're going to have to narrow it down better than that...

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  9. Patron ZeroMay 02, 2013

    You've got to love a Star Trek (TOS) - Hawaii-5 O connection !

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  10. Paul DucaMay 04, 2013

    Beth Brickelll was also Gentle Ben's mom (Dennis Weaver's wife) on that show.

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