6/10/13

Food & Drink #19: Gastro-Abominations


This just looks so unspeakably wrong.  Spam Spread on toast draped with a generous dollop of lumpy mustard lying awkwardly on a bed of lettuce - deeeelish.  Yet, despite its obvious issues, I'd still rather eat this than just about any of the fancy shmancy stuff they dish up on The Food Network.  Am I crazy?





Woah, Cap'n! Easy on the Miracle Whip.  That deep fried tuna is smothering under a full quarter inch of salad dressing gloop.  Someone throw that tuna a life-preserver!


Another "Sandwich Sampler" courtesy Reader's Digest.  Cabbage, mayonnaise, SPAM, pickles, and BBQ sauce..... what could go wrong?  I love the two radishes as a garnish.


AKA The Uncircumcised Weiner


And if you run out of Wheat Nuts, you can always just step outside and chew on some tree bark.


Yogurt bars don't sound bad, actually...... they just look really, really bad.  It's amazing to think that somewhere someone thought these pink briquettes would look mouth watering.


Chicken Pizza - sure.  
Pizza Chicken - no thanks.




THE END


14 comments:

  1. Wow, times have changed haven't they? My Mammaw has a ton of similar recipes :)

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  2. Wheat Nuts are addictive, though.

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  3. I have to let out a secret; Miracle Whip is just mayonnaise with a different label on the jar.

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    1. Have you actually compared both? Real mayo is almost tasteless in comparison. Slimier, too.

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    2. Um, NO.

      Miracle whip is sweet and disgusting. YUCK.

      Real mayonnaise made with olive oil, eggs, and a bit of vinegar is light years ahead of Miracle Whip any day of the week!

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    3. They're both gross. Why eats that shit?

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  4. I loved Wiener Wrap, the one with cheese. They do resemble Weenie Tots from Married With Children.

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  5. AnonymousJune 11, 2013

    My childhood lunch menu just flashed before my eyes.ESPECIALLY Kraft Barbecue Sauce in the "brick"bottle.My mother had a strict quota on condiments in our household;Ketchup,mustard and mayonnaise.Period.I used to actually buy my own Kraft BBQ sauce with my allowance money(Onion flavored was my fave)and stash it in the back cabinet.I think you're supposed to refrigerate sauces like that after opening them,but if you don't,they seem to become slightly sharper.English Muffin Pizzas was another lunch phenomenon that was gleaned from a package recipe.

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  6. Figurines were amazingly good for a "diet" snack. My Mom got the strawberry ones and I'd always steal 1 or 2.

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  7. Spam today, Spam tomorrow, Spam forever! Nothing says a mother love quite as much as a spam casserole for dinner set in a 70s kitchen with a linoleum tile floor flourished with lime green kitchen appliances!

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  8. These almost all look delicious to me, especially that bbq sandwich. (pizza chicken seems pointless, though)

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  9. AnonymousJune 13, 2013

    Those Sunnyside Buffet Sandwich and Barbeque-supper sandwiches look pretty good actually.

    The irony is people in the 1970s ate stuff like this and were still thinner than folks today. Among other things, those were two entire meals right there and people spent more time outdoors, getting exercise.

    Okay, okay, I'll mow the lawn Saturday...

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  10. "Yogurt bars don't sound bad actually"

    Was thinking the same thing myself before I saw your comment!

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