Does anyone even buy these things anymore? The digital avenues to see naked ladies have completely outmoded the girly magazine. For decades these time-honored publications were the whipping posts of religious and conservative groups..... now what can they say? The Internet is such a massive "cesspool", how could you even begin to protest its content?
Read through old newspapers, and you'll find over and over again various religious and political groups taking a stand against the plague of dirty magazines. The government issued reports of the worst offenders in graphic detail (and this volume could actually be found in your local library, much to the delight of many a young lad). Churches would burn them, picket the "smut peddlers" and up-and-coming politicians could always count on the "anti-porn" platform to win votes in the Heartland.
Now, the protests are gone.... and so are the magazines. The Digital Age has made them as anachronistic as a 5-1/4" floppy disk. But not here on Retrospace - we're using the same knife that killed them to keep their memory alive. Enjoy.
How can you tell this a magazine made in the U.K.? A cover story entitled "Naughty Snaps with her Bosom Chums" is a slight giveaway.... that and the Union Jack.
Girls in Orbit may be the coolest of the men's magazines. It captures that "space age bachelor pad" vibe of the Atomic Age. If only all of them could be this groovy.
That's sign language for "I'm being held hostage." The question is, did any readers understand her plea for help?
Many of you youngsters may not realize that the Middle East wasn't such a hotbed of fundamentalism in the sixties. It wasn't until the seventies, that these countries started going apeshit. Iran was a top tourist destination for chrissakes!
Here's a couple covers where they try to make it look like the girl is emerging from the page. You be the judge as to whether they succeeded.
Ummm. I don't know if I want to see photographs of "when Patton paused for relief". George S. Patton getting relieved is not my idea of erotica.
Woops! My dress seems to have blown up by a bizarre wind somehow generated by this fire hydrant. And is that George Lindsey in the background? He looks annoyed rather than aroused by the situation.
She's like "Huh s-wha?" and he's like "Ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-titties" and then she's like "Who? Me? and then he's like "Ba-ba-ba-ba-boobies" and then she's like ....
Why is she so mad at the fruit? Did the giant grapes say something inappropriate?
I can think of a lot of ways to rip-off "Deep Throat", and "Deep Knee" wouldn't be in my top twenty.
I'm picturing the Chauvinist Pig Quiz to look something like this:
"Are you reading this magazine? If "yes", congratulations: your'e a chauvinist pig." End of quiz.
Bad hair day? Oh, wait. That's some sort of tragic head-wear. Not one of her better wardrobe decisions.
"I reeeeeallly have to use the restroom. Hurry up and take the damn picture before my bladder explodes."
Before we go, I want to mention something I find particularly cool about these old girly magazines: The Fonts. There's a certain art to lettering; a certain enjoyment to be had just by how artfully words were put to page. And what better source than the seemingly infinite array of girly magazines? For all the varieties of adult publications (and there were thousands), each had its own style. So, I've gathered together a handful of titles along with a thumbnail of the corresponding covers.