Twisted Impressions #17: Captain Kirk's Dirty Mind

Who can blame the Captain for his bad habit of staring at his co-stars' assets?  Let's face it, the ladies of Star Trek were foxes, and they dressed accordingly.  Kirk, a man not known for his subtly, was like a kid in a candy store, and always giving in to the temptation.

It didn't help matters that James Tiberius was a classic case of Attention Deficit Disorder.  The last thing the man needed was a distraction set in front of him every five seconds.  Let's take a look at a handful of scenes where Captain Kirk is cold busted.

Perhaps it's unfair to single Kirk out, when there were plenty of other male perpetrators.  But Kirk was just more blatant. Take the image above: at least Barney Miller's boss maintains eye contact (a penny for his thoughts, though), whereas Kirk just doesn't even try.  .

And just so you know, it keeps going...

Jeez, Captain.  Why don't you just bury your face in them? [I'm sure that's precisely what took place back stage.]

True to form, Kirk is helped by Khan's groupie and he repays her by immediately staring at her breasts. Smooth.

His hand gestures betray his thoughts.

Eye contact was just too much to expect when the girl from Father Knows Best is wearing a miniskirt.

Careful, Jim.  That's the director's wife you're looking at.

I don't think his eyes are wandering here, but he still doesn't get a free pass - I know exactly what's going through his mind.  Still, I commend the effort.  You can tell he's straining himself to stay focused.  Someone get this man a cold towel.

Even Spock, with superhuman self control, is caught looking.  It's simply unfair to expect a man of Kirk's limited restraint to refrain from staring.  This is almost entrapment.

"Dammit, Scotty, I'm a man not a eunuch!"

Kirk: "..... ummmm..... sorry, what were you saying?"
Director: "Cut!"

It seems Kirk's rascally ways have influenced his subordinates. I expected more from you, Chekov. Disappointed.

Yes, Kirk was a sly dog.  Not only was he on board with dozens of lovely gals in skimpy attire, he was also the BMOC.  Perhaps Picard would have shown more decorum.... or at least seemed a little less giddy. Whatever the case, I'm glad Kirk was captain.  His dirty little mind kept things lively.



  1. "His hand gestures betray his thoughts." LOL.

    Back in the day, I had a German-born boss who had a bad habit of staring at every woman's breasts when he was conversing with them. I didn't mind. He was very attractive. And William Shatner back in the day could do the same to me anytime.

  2. Captain Kirk was such a dirty dog on that show! I think that's why I enjoy it so much, cause it was fun watching him be lecherous.

  3. J. Bevington TalliaferroJuly 22, 2013

    Drill thrall: "What was that?"

    Kirk: "That was my captain's log."

  4. AnonymousJuly 22, 2013


  5. As Brent M. would say "Oh you startship captains, you get all the green skin, scantily clad alien women!" Seriously, I remember as a young lad watching Kirk and his shennanigans and saying to myself "That guy is cool. I want to be like him someday". Oh yes, I had dreams.

  6. AnonymousJuly 22, 2013

    In the next to last pic crewman whatshername is totally checking out Kirk's ass. Turnabout is fair play!

    1. Nope. He's sitting down in that shot, and she's giving him a back rub. On the bridge. In the captain's chair.

      Sure, he thought it was Spock doing it, but that doesn't make it any less creepy.

  7. In fairness to Pavel Chekov, he was actually dating that lovely fellow officer; Kirk reprimanded them for not keeping their mind on their mission to David Soul's Hippy Planet. (Yeah, THAT David Soul. Don't give up on us, Yoeman - we can still pull through!)

    1. Oh thanks--now that song is going to be caught in my head for the rest of the day.

  8. Is that Lady Gaga in the last photo?

  9. Too bad you couldn't find a frame where he was watching Yvonne Craig, the Orion slave girl who went on to be Batgirl. But then, I guess ogling was the whole point of that scene.

    Also, I think that chick in the aluminum foil really looks like Lady Gaga.

  10. AnonymousJuly 22, 2013

    And yet, Mr. Sulu was never influenced. hmm....

    1. Yeah, right. No matter what he may be into these days, go watch Mirror Mirror and note the scenes where Uhura is vamping him. He's not looking at her eyes there.

      Of course, that was his Evil Twin version, so I suppose that might explain it.

  11. AnonymousJuly 23, 2013

    The actress in the last frame is Angelique Pettyjohn. According to wiki: "During the early 1980s, she would make use of her buxom figure in such hardcore adult films as Titillation (1982), Stalag 69 (1982), and Body Talk (1982) under the pseudonyms Angelique, Heaven St. John or Angel St. John."

  12. BTW, that's not Barney Miller's boss. That's Inspector Luger, who dropped in from time to time to regale them with his stories and generally bug them.

  13. Funniest thing I've read in ages. Really!

  14. AnonymousJuly 25, 2013

    Capt. Kirk really should be commended-all those babes dressed like they were in his crew and yet he wasn't virtually crippled with a permanent boner? Either Gene Roddenberry really thought that men would have miraculously discarded millions of years of genetic programming by the 23rd century or Dr. McCoy must have kept shooting up the good captain with some sort of futuristic anti-Viagra all the time.
    But then again Kirk did let loose with the alien babes he kept coming across. Makes one wonder how many races ended up being Kirkian offshoots in the galaxy.