I figure there's always room for one more list of the top science-fiction babes. It's got three of my favorite elements: lists, babes, and sci-fi. Simply put, the list had to be done. So, here's the rules:
- Movies only. As much as I'd love to include Erin Grey from Buck Rogers or the Barnstable twins from Quark, those will have to wait until the TV edition.
- Release date in the 1960s through the 1980s only. This is Retrospace, after all.
- It has to be unabashedly sci-fi. You start including WarGames, Supergirl, Ghostbusters and Escape from New York, and it becomes a slippery slope. Before long you're including Mannequin and Zapped!. All the films in this list are textbook science fiction (nevertheless, I'm sure someone will ride in on their sci-fi horse of purity and exclude some.)
- The film can only be represented one time within the list.
Sound good? Before we start, I should also mention that any naughty bits have been censored by The Great Gazoo. As if you didn't hate him enough, here's even more reason to despise Bedrock's resident alien a-hole.
1. JANE FONDA - BARBARELLA (1968)
There's something about the cartoonish and kinky space vixen that has transfixed men for forty plus years. I understand there's a remake in the works; but, my money's on it sucking hard. You can't recreate Vadim's psychedelic masterpiece, you can only stand in awe of it.
2. JENNY AGUTTER - LOGAN'S RUN (1976)
You all know I'm a fan of Heather Menzies in the Logan's Run TV show (see these posts). However, Agutter as Jessica delivers an epic performance. And by "epic" I don't mean the tired cliche we've all grown to hate. I mean Legendary, of Homeric proportions, majestic.... something a bard should write poems about and pass them down the generations. You get my drift.
3. MATHILDA MAY - LIFEFORCE (1985)
This movie has haunted my dreams since I first saw it on VHS in the eighties. Mathilda is a space vampire that is naked for the entirety of the film..... and I'm not exaggerating. I mean, her wardrobe budget was exactly zero dollars and zero cents. Truly a landmark moment in cinematic nudity.
4. KELLY LEBROCK - WEIRD SCIENCE (1985)
Thank you Garry and Wyatt for "making a girl... actually making a girl... like Frankenstein... except cuter."
5. CARRIE FISHER - RETURN OF THE JEDI (1983)
Jabba the Hut wasn't the only one enjoying Leia in a metal bikini. Youngsters across this great land suffered intense overheating from the sight of it.... only Lando remained cool.
6. MELODY ANDERSON - FLASH GORDON (1980)
Melody has popped up on Retrospace more than a few times. Once as the original Victoria's Secret catalog model, and again in a post unto herself. I love how Flash Gordon gets special props in the film Ted (2012): "Flash Gordon was the most important figure of our formative years. He taught us right from wrong, good from evil. And that the word 'acting' apparently has an extremely broad definition."
7. CAROLINE MUNRO - STARCRASH (1979)
The lovely Carolyn spends the film wearing what Sean Connery wore in Zardoz. Maybe I have gender bias, but it looks a lot better on Carolyn.
8. DOROTHY STRATTEN - GALAXINA (1980)
Yes, this movie was a devastating disappointment, and yes, there's precious little to see of Galaxina. But it's Dorothy Stratten, so it gets to cut in line.
9. TRACI LORDS - NOT OF THIS EARTH (1988)
Make no mistake: this is not a good movie. Even judged from a purely T&A perspective, it still falls short. But it's Traci Lords big leap to the mainstream from porn, so it deserves some love. I've never seen the original 1957 Roger Corman film - something tells me they're similar in name only.
10. FARAH FAWCETT - SATURN 3 (1980)
You've got to understand that Farrah was larger than life in 1980. Not in a forced-manufactured Lady Gaga kind of way, but in a genuine "Good Lord, Farrah makes me sweat profusely!" kind of way. To learn that she was topless for even a microsecond was epic news from sea to shining sea. The movie itself was only so-so, but did it really matter?
11. SYBIL DANNING - BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS (1980)
That's Darlanne Fluegel on the left, but the one we're concerned with is warrior queen, Sybil Danning, whose costumes seem to have a difficult time containing her. This Roger Corman flick is a blast to watch, possibly due in part to a screenplay by John Sayles (Eight Men Out) and special effects by James Cameron (Titanic, Avatar, Piranha II).... oh, and Sybil's boobs.
12. CARLA PETERSON - SPACE THING (1968)
They turned the camp factor up to 11 on this one, folks.... but it's beautifully unintentional. This is low budget sci-fi sexploitation distilled and purified of any pesky talented actors or engaging story. Not exactly a family friendly film, but if you can appreciate grade Z science fiction with a healthy dose of gratuitous adult content, this is right up your alley.
13. SIGOURNEY WEAVER - ALIENS (1986)
Yeah, Ripley was better in the first movie IMHO, but I didn't want to include both films in this list. Anyway, Paul Reiser aside, Aliens is a pretty damn good film in its own right. A personal flashback: I worked in a hospital when this came to theaters, and I remember eavesdropping on the doctors talking about having seen it. After hearing the rave reviews (albeit vicariously as a pathetic hospital manservant), I simply had to see this film, and was not disappointed. Sigourney isn't exactly a "space kitten", so her position on this list is a bit lower than you'd expect.
14. TAAFFE O'CONNELL - GALAXY OF TERROR (1981)
One of the most over-the-top moments in sci-fi cinema history has to be Taaffe O'Connell's rape by a giant amorous space slug. Taaffe popped up on Retrospace earlier in a Knight Rider post.
Note: This film also stars Joanie from Happy Days. Thankfully she isn't raped by a space slug - that would've been too much for my fragile psyche to handle.
15. JOANNA CASSIDY - BLADE RUNNER (1982)
Who expected television mainstay Joanna Cassidy to appear as a topless Replicant? I liken it to seeing Meredith Baxter-Birney showing up as a naked android in Starship Trooprs (It never happened, but I can dream can't I?)
16. ROXANNE KERNOHAN - CRITTERS 2 (1988)
Roxanne transforms from a creepy chain-mail clad male alien into a topless chick alien. Why? Don't ask so many questions.
17. SANDY BROOKE - STAR SLAMMER (1987)
The women-in-prison Star Wars combo should have been a recipe for success. Unfortunately, the director didn't give it the ol' Russ Myers try, and instead kept things rather tame and dull. Still, Sandy Brooke does what she can, and for that, she deserves a place on this hallowed list.
18. KIM BASSINGER - MY STEPMOTHER IS AN ALIEN (1988)
Family friendly fare featuring Basinger flaunting a fantastic femalien figure.
19. KENDRA KIRCHNER - ANDROID (1983)
Klaus Kinski is a rabid Teutonic madman.... and I'm not talking about his character - I'm referring to the real life actor. Thankfully, his cyborg sex slave is there to calm his spirits. Nicely done, Klaus.
20. ELLEN BARKIN - ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BONZAI (1984)
Barkin's character could have been much more memorable had she gone the sleazy route as she did in, say, Siesta. Instead, it's a fairly milquetoast role that fills the #20 slot; however, the movie is so damn good, everything is elevated.
21. GEENA DAVIS - EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY (1988)
Julie Brown wasn't too shabby either; but, I'm only allowing myself one babe per movie.
22. CATHERINE MARY STEWART - NIGHT OF THE COMET (1984)
Kelli Maroney wore the better outfit, but her younger sister (on right) is hotter. This film is a reminder of what can be done on a shoestring budget with a good idea and plenty of enthusiasm.
23. MELANIE GRIFFITH - CHERRY 2000 (1987)
A promising title, android sex slaves, and Ms. Griffith - so much potential. (sigh)
24.. KATHY IRELAND - ALIEN FROM L.A. (1988)
So forgettable it may lead to other memory loss as well. I've not only forgotten this movie, but the entire month afterward has been automatically deposited into my mental recycle bin.
25. RAQUEL WELCH - FANTASTIC VOYAGE (1966)
Sadly, the filmmakers didn't utilize Raquel's assets; they might as well have hired Shirley Booth to play Cora. What a pity.