Comic Books #63: The Farmer's Daughter

You're familiar with the "cat and mouse" gag - "Tom & Jerry" and "Wile E. Coyote & Road Runner" come instantly to mind.  But there's a trope which is a slight modification, which is much more popular.  It contains three basic elements/characters:
(1) The Addict, (2) The Prize, and (3) The Goalkeeper
(1) Yogi Bear, (2) picnic baskets, and (3) Ranger Smith
(1) Kids, (2) Lucky Charms cereal, and (3) the leprechaun
(1) Plankton, (2) the Krabby Patty secret formula and (3) Mr. Krabs
Well, when I saw there's a 1954 comic based on this gag where the prize is a farmer's daughter, and the addict is a bunch of horny men.... well, I had to investigate.  And like the Lucky Charms leprechaun, the farmer (goalkeeper) is sure to experience plenty of stress keeping those grabbing hands off his little girl.  Let the fun commence!

In the Feb-Mar issue, a traveling salesman stops in at the farm.  He can barely control his erection excitement.

Dat ass!  This salesman is literally molesting her backside all the way up the stairs. This is a comic for kids, published in 1954.

The Dumb & Dumber quote comes to mind: "So you're telling me there's a chance... YEAH!"

Of course, this is about the most politically incorrect thing a human being can say.  Orville, the farm hand doesn't take to kindly to it either, and goes medieval on his ass.

She means "take you around the farm", but he's interpreting this as straight up sex.  This poor guy is going to die of a heart attack if this keeps up.

Turns out, the salesman was a fraud.  He put a chemical in their cows' drinking water to cause them to produce blue milk.  Then, he offered a solution which involved brining all their cattle with him to New York.

They were tricked!  So, Amy devises a plan to rustle her cows back home.... and afterward, Pa delivers the greatest line in children's comic book history....

WHAT did he just say?!?!  Most assuredly, the writer behind this comic book had a bit of a laugh over the alternate meaning.  I just can't imagine that in a comic purely about maintaining a daughter's purity the implication of this comment was lost.

Let's pause for a brief commercial interruption.

In the next story, an arteest is stranded and looks to the farm for refuge.  Before he can start creating his horny masterpiece, Pa returns with a vengeance.  No doubt, hell bent on ensuring Amy's calves are not spread out.

Notice how Hal Seeger lovingly depicts Amy's boobs.  He makes damn sure the full outline is always visible.

The arteest story ends with what can only be interpreted as a hanging.

In the next story, Amy's hay cart is broken down.  A horny stranger is only too happy to help.  Let's hope he doesn't meet the same fate as the arteest.

In the final story, Amy gets naked.

Is that his finger covering up Amy's bare breast?  Man, kids' comics used to be so much more fun.

We'll take a look-see jess fer fun.  (And we better stop thar cuz ahm startin' tuh talk lak Pa)

The first story begins with an escaped convict breaking into the farmhouse.  Amy gets gay chicken with him.

Next, the convict gets gay chicken with Orville and demands he strip.  Things are getting damn uncomfortable.

The sheriff comes looking for the escaped con.  Obviously, this is another prime opportunity to get Amy naked again.

......aaaaaaaand another chance to get Amy undressed is found in the last story.  Why wait until you're inside, when you can strip down and titillate the imagination of thousands of young Baby Boomers?

Yeah, I'll bet she surprised dumb Orville.  God only knows what he does when he's alone with his thoughts in the stables. (shudder)

 Well, that's enough filthy family fun for one day.  Until next time.



  1. I think "Holy schnikers" just about covers this.

  2. This is a curious comic--wholesome sleaze!

  3. You'll notice there is no "Comics Code Authority" label on the cover.

  4. Are you SURE this was aimed towards kids? Even back then, this would seem somewhat inappropriate for the youngins'!

    1. Actually, a lot of comics were marketed to members of the military back then and I suspect this was one of them. They were starved for female attention and comic books and magazines were there to at least provide tantalizing pictures for them.

  5. I'd say it was the PG13 of its day!

  6. Tragically, this storyline took a bizarre twist when Amy, frustrated by Pa's tiresome antics, moved to L.A. to pursue her dream of becoming a movie star. Naturally, she ended up in porn instead. After a brief, but meteoritic career, she was out of the industry - burnt out and coked up. After a 5 year hiatus, she returned to the public eye - 150 lb heavier and sporting a butch-cut - as a radical feminist, anti-porn crusader. After that she dropped off the radar completely. Some reports (unconfirmed) say she is living as a meth addict in a trailer park somewhere in New Mexico. So sad, if Pa had only let her hook up with one of those city boys, all of this might have been averted....