We'll finish off season four in this post. We'll cover the episodes where Marcia gets whacked by a football, falls hopelessly in love with a married man. But most of all, we'll cover the minis. So, sit back and enjoy part two of the comprehensive guide to Brady Bunch miniskirts. Onward ho!
S04E12 "Everyone Can't Be George Washington"
Peter gets stuck playing Benedict Arnold in the school play. For some incomprehensible reason, his fellow students disown him for this. When the girl (pictured above) finds out he's playing Benedict, she flat out rejects him. This makes absolutely no sense, even in the Brady Universe.
Jan, the stage manager, watches Peter's terrible performance. Robin Quivers (from Howard Stern) also looks on.
S04E13 "Love and the Older Man"
Marcia gets all hot and bothered by her dentist. Mr. Brady lets her know that he's coming over Saturday night and Marcia jumps to the conclusion that he's attracted to her as well.
Cindy is excited for Marcia, and Jan pretends to give a damn. It just so happens that she's got a dental appointment tomorrow, and she begins to freak out that she doesn't have a thing to wear.
Marcia walks up to the boys who are putting together a go-cart. Greg whistles, gives her a look over and exclaims, "Hey, look at you." A rather disturbing scene between brother and sister.
Marcia believes that her mother approves of her illicit romance. It's the old "Three's Company" gag of comedy driven by misunderstanding... no matter how unrealistic.
Of course, bespectacled Jan has to watch Marcia's soap opera from the sidelines. No wonder she had such a complex.
Marcia fantasizes about greeting her dentist husband in a sexy minidress after he's come home from a hard days work. This could've easily developed into something X rated, but alas, this is family programming.
In another fantasy, we find Alice in a miniskirt, a French Maid outfit to be exact. WTF? Exactly why Alice would wear sexy costumes in Marcia's fantasies is a question I don't necessarily want answered.
At the dentist's office we are treated to a camera angle which focuses right up Marcia's skirt. It seems Marcia is having difficulty living with the fact that Dr. Vogel is married, and decides to call off the affair. Vogel plays along to avoid embarrassing her.
I can't help but think that a more likely scenario would've involved Dr. Vogel quickly telling Marcia that he's getting a divorce, and let the chips fall where they may.
S04E14 "Law and Disorder" - 0 miniskirts
S04E15 "Greg Gets Grounded" - 0 miniskirts
S04E16 "Amateur Nite"
Jan wants to buy the parents an engraved anniversary platter, but is strapped for cash. To get the funds, the Brady kids enter a talent show as "The Silver Platters".
The idiot variety show host, Pete Stern (Steve Dunne), suggests they ditch the miniskirts and wear these ridiculous blue and white sweatsuits. Damn you, Pete Stern!
S04E17 "Bobby's Hero" - 0 miniskirts
S04E18 "The Subject Was Noses"
Marcia and her friend Vicki (Lisa Eilbacher - who almost became Princess Leia) discuss what a dreamboat Doug Simpson is, only to have him walk up and ask Marcia to the dance.
Marcia walks up to Greg wearing one of her shorter miniskirts,and I particularly enjoyed Greg's reflexive expression. If you've read Growing Up Brady, you know he showed up to work high as a kite a time or two, and had a thing going with Marcia (as well as a date with Carol!).
Greg lets Marcia know that the nerdy Charlie is inside, and gives her some advice on how to let the nerd down easy.
Marcia thanks for his advice on how to get rid of the nerd, so she can commence getting busy with the jock, Doug. Greg is only too happy to oblige... and get another look at that miniskirt.
Douche-bag Doug gives Marcia a ride home. Little do they know that the nerdiest boy alive, Charlie, is wearing out his welcome at the Brady residence. Thankfully, Jan is there to save Marcia the awkward collision of jock and nerd.
I have no idea who these people are, but I should mention that nearly every shot of Westdale High School is brimming with miniskirts. This is true no matter the episode.
In a smack heard round the world, Marcia's nose is planted with a football. It swells and bruises grotesquely, leading shallow Doug to make up some lame excuse to ditch Marcia.
By what only can be described as a miracle, Marcia's nose is completely healed. Gone is the horrific swelling and bruising - Marcia is restored to her normal beauty before the end of the week. (Notice Greg enjoying the scenery).
When shallow Doug comes crawling back, Marcia tells him "something suddenly came up" and chooses creepy Charlie instead. Note that Charlie would go on to star in one of my favorite films of the seventies - The Van.
S04E19 "How to Succeed in Business?" - 0 miniskirts
S04E20 "The Great Earring Caper" - 0 miniskirts (unless you count Mr. Brady's Marc Antony costume, which I do not).
S04E21 "You're Never Too Old"
Marcia and Jan are really excited to see their grandparents: Carol's mother and Mike's father (played by Florence Henderson and Robert Reed in old person makeup).
The Brady girls are quick to concoct a scheme to try and hook up the grandparents. It's nice sentiment, but it's also kinda gross.
S04E23 "You Can't Win Them All"
This is the episode where Cindy enters a beauty pageant and gets stage fright. Take note that Marcia is once again wearing the same minidress from the past two episodes!
S04E24 "A Room at the Top" - 0 miniskirts
Take note: There's a whole season left. It'll be a few weeks, but season five will be making its way to Retrospace. Stay tuned.