Cinema #34: Top 30 T&A '73
In my opinion 1972 was the year all hell broke loose. Deep Throat and Last Tango in Paris were playing on Main Street. Sexual Liberation was in the air, and cinema was quick to hitch a ride on the gravy train. Restrictions had been lifted a few years earlier, but by '72 even the remaining restrictions were ignored. It seemed the motion picture industry's censors were asleep at the wheel, and it was time to get down.
I thought I'd start with the following year and drill down on the top 30 movies which delivered the goods to the hungry masses. Is this the Internet's definitive list? Why yes it is.
Note (1): This is not a list of the top nude scenes. Granted, many of these do have nudity, but that's not a requirement.
Note (2) These are the top films not scenes. If a single scene is good enough to put it on the list, then so be it (as in our #1 choice). After all, T&A does not stand for "talent and ability".
Note (3) I am leaving out purely softcore ventures because that would simply take the fun out of it. You don't need me to tell you that Diary of a Nymphomaniac has ample T&A.
Still, I'd like to hear your comments on painful omissions and thoughts of those included on this list. Don't dwell too long on the ranking order. Enjoy.
1. THE WICKER MAN
The haunting pagan sex song accompanied by Brit Ekland flailing around her room butt naked has to be seen to be believed. Two thumbs up from The Equalizer.
2. CARRY ON GIRLS
For more on this cheeky little gem, read a Retrospace post on the Carry On films. About as harmless as Benny Hill, and every bit as fun.
3. THE SINFUL DWARF
I still stand by my assertion that The Sinful Dwarf is the funnest and sickest film ever made. Movies like A Serbian Film and Cannibal Holocaust may be sicker, but they sure ain't funner. This movie grabs the prize as the ultimate grindhouse shocker, with a parade of perversity that starts from the very first frame and doesn't ever let up. It's made even more watchable by the lovely and mysterious Ann Sparrow, who faded into absolute obscurity after this demented film was made.
4. MS. DON JUAN
Brigitte Bardot and Jane Birkin in bed together.... naked? Plus, this is Bardot's last film ever, so the spectacle has extra gravitas.
5. THE LAST OF SHEILA
Why does The Last of Sheila get such high marks? The reason is actually quite mathematical: It boils down to this equation: R + B = OgHy. (Where R = Raquel, B = bikini, and OgHy = Oh God, Hell Yes)
6. BABA YAGA
S&M witches based on comics by the infamous Cepax. This is a recipe for T&A success any way you slice it... or whip it, as the case may be.
7. AND NOW THE SCREAMING STARTS
And Now the Screaming Starts featured Stephanie Beacham in cleavage-centric gowns throughout. I think the "screaming" in the title refers to her boobs, literally screaming to burst free.
8. BONNIE'S KIDS
For more on this enjoyable little film, check out this post by yours truly.
9. SUGAR COOKIES
One the biggest pleasant surprises in a long, long time. This film by Oliver Stone and Troma's Lloyd Kaufman, has an unexpectedly good story-line and acting. You're ready for standard fare nudie cutie material, but instead you're delivered a well-written and rather dark story..... oh, yeah, and lot's of T&A.
10. ALVIN PURPLE
There's an excellent documentary on the Australian exploitation explosion of the 1970s called Not Quite Hollywood. Highly recommended. It would a crying shame not to include the leader of the pack, Alvin Purple, on this list. The girl above was so famous in Australia, she goes by one name: Abigail.
11. FEMALE VAMPIRE
Would have garnered higher marks if Lina Romay was ever not nude... in any scene in any movie she's ever been in. After a while, it becomes so commonplace you almost forget she's naked. Still, it's a damn fine Franco flick, delivering on all the goods Euro-sleaze is supposed to deliver.
There's less bouncing in an NBA game than in this film starring Uschi Digard, Joyce Jillson, Candy Samples... and most importantly, Grizzly Adams himself - Dan Haggerty.
Clint Eastwood does us a solid in Breezy. He directs this picture featuring a nude Kay Lenz. They don't call him Dirty Harry for nothing.
14. HORROR RISES FROM THE TOMB
Paul Naschy was the Spanish horror king in the seventies. Here creates the perfect blend of horror and T&A; a perverted paella, if you will.
15. THE WORKING GIRLS
Cassandra Peterson (Elvira) shakin' it on stage.... how could this not make the list. As Frank Sinatra said - "it was a very good year."
The Italian Giallo films were rarely available on VHS and they damn sure didn't play them on the CBS late night movie. So, it wasn't until Netflix made them available that I started taking a keen interest in them. There's plenty of duds, but there's also some cinema gold to found as well. Torso isn't one of the best, but it is slam packed with T&A and well worth a look.
17. SHAFT IN AFRICA
Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks? Shaft! You're damn right
18. THE FREAKMAKER
Donald Sutherland plays a rabid mad scientist like nobody's business, and Tom Baker (Dr. Who) is his deformed henchman. Add to the mix a bevy of boobs, and you've got yourself a winner.
19. CANNIBAL GIRLS
Directed by Ivan Reitman and starring Eugene Levy and Andrea Martin! This is like an SCTV horror movie parody with boobs.
20. LIVE AND LET DIE
Jane Seymour plays a fortune teller who should have predicted that 007 would be shagging her within minutes. Seymour's cleavage is a welcome addition to the Bond girl hall of fame.
21. WALKING TALL
Not a whole lot in the T&A department in this classic Joe Don Baker flick. However, we get to see the goods on Brenda Benet, Bill Bixby's wife. Which should count for something. (No Hulk, though, which is a shame.)
22. G.I. EXECUTIONER
There's plenty of T&A to be had in this blaxploitation gem; however, it makes the list because of one gal -Angelique Pettyjohn. Don't know her? You may want to check out my post on the babes of Star Trek.
23. MAGNUM FORCE
Suzanne Somers frolicking naked in a pool. Blink and you'll miss it.
AND THE REST...
24. DON'T LOOK NOW
Great movie, and I'm still not convinced Julie Christie's sex scene with Donald Sutherland was simulated. However, the poor lighting denies this film from getting on the list.
25. THE HARRAD EXPERIMENT
A college campus sensation back in the day. Supposedly based on true events of "free love experiments". T&A galore, but nothing to write home about
26. INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS
The very definition of camp, but a high water mark in T&A this is not.
27. THE LAST DETAIL
Jack Nicholson as Billy “Badass” Budduskey and Carol Kane as a naked whore.
28. PAT GARRETT AND BILLY THE KID
Dimly lit Rita Coolidge boobs.
29. SECRETS OF A DOOR-TO-DOOR SALESMAN
Kindred spirit to Britain's Carry On and Confessions of a.... films. Just doesn't quite capture their magic.
30. CIAO! MANHATTAN
Edie Sedgwick is topless throughout, but the thrill is gone. She's strung out on drugs (in real life), looking sad and rough. It's hard to enjoy T&A through the tears.