As you'd expect with an old-school action rag, this issue is a goldmine of vintage sleaze, with tawdry tales and interesting ads abounding. Let's turn the page, shall we?
We tackled this subject back in 2010. These old magazines always had advertising for a career in accident investigation. They always made it look like the grooviest job on the planet - swooping in to save miniskirted maidens in their time of need. Something tells me it wasn't quite so groovy.
In contrast - getting in on the computer game as early as 1970 had to pay off in the long run...
A few funnies before we get to the twisted tales...
I didn't copy the whole story. Stay tuned - in the next vintage men's magazine post (#41) I copy every single page and transcribe every single story. Not this time, though... but I did include a couple additional illustrations ffrom this story...
|The Gestapo agents reached for their guns. I had to warn Antoinette. I knew what they did to women to make them talk.|
There's something about sticking a black bar over someone's eyes that suddenly makes things seem illicit and forbidden.
Once we were back in the station wagon, I took a long drag from the pint Doug kept stashed in the glove compartment. The whiskey lit a flame in my belly. It spread through my veins. Suddenly the car seemed suffocating. I burped loudly.
Doug glanced at me. I guess he wondered whether I was going to pass out on him. Nothing will get a fellow so upset as seeing the girl he has designs on becoming ill from drinking. It destroys the poor guy's sense ol beauty. "You all right?" he asked.
"Never better, lover! I just want to get out of these clothes. It's so stuffy." I snuggled next to him. I bit his ear lobe. His hand moved from the steering wheel to my thigh. The fingers rested there, then tensed.
"Two whole days and nights!" Doug laughed. "Man oh Man!"
He'll do anything for a fix — even kick you to death.
THE needs and basic drives which are commonly thought to be universal among all humans are food and sex. Yet, to a large—frighteningly large—number of men and women, a third need must be added ... a need that towers in intensity over food and sex, a need so strong that those who suffer it will gladly give up food, family, love, home, freedom and sanity to satisfy it. This need is dope . . . narcotics . . . the innocent-appearing white powders, leaves and fluids that chain a man's mind and body and lead him unfailingly to his own destruction.
This is just weird. Those no additional pages on Musical Heidi. Just a mention that she relaxes with a mandolin with no pictures or interview to support it.
A woman's insatiable lust refused to be denied. And because of that she turned an empire into a sea of blood where agony and murder ruled
...But the thought of the impaling stake penetrating the nubile softness of her delicate flesh had been too great. The expectation of the binding ropes chafing the skin from her wrists and ankles had caused the quaking shudders in her body to begin anew. Even as the guards' key grated in the lock, she had tasted the bite of the rods scourging her naked back and limbs.
They are not what they seem. They are capable of any crime, no matter how brutal. What's more, they have come up with new twists on larceny and mayhem that amaze even the most hard-nosed law enforcers.
The plan was set. It was a pleasure to watch these sloe-eyed charmers execute a maneuver that would have Ho Chi Minh yanking his beard. The girls clutched the means to do it under their skirts.
In just a couple years, this sort of cheesecake spread would seem laughably quaint. Already, in 1970 this seems a little tame - by mid-decade, things went totally graphic, driving magazines like this basically out of business.
Is he making the "peace" sign, "victory" sign, or.... Dear God, no.
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Here at last are the techniques which can transform the staleness apathy and boredom of the marital act into a series of invigorating, refreshing, fulfilling experiences .. . each more thrilling than the last!
I admit, the B&W ads in the back are my favorite part of these old magazines.
Man, lots of guys with blow-up dolls in the 1970s.
The Scandanavian countries definitely led the way when it came to graphic pornography; the rest of the West would follow a few years behind. Something tells me, however, most buyers weren't interested in learning about the progressive Danish legal system, but were lured by one word: "illustrated".
Wouldn't it be wild if one of these ads that promised the impossible actually was real? And what if there really was a "Height Increase Bureau"? I'd watch a movie around that.
Take note: The vibrator instructional videos are FOR MEDICAL PURPOSES ONLY.