Tonight's Double Feature brings you two very unlikely studs: Don Knotts in The Love God? (1969) and the terribly goofy looking Robert Askwith, who inexplicably has girls throwing themselves at him throughout Confessions of a Driving Instructor (1976). Enjoy.
The Love God? (1969)
This film was a lot dirtier than I thought it would be, considering it starred Don Knots. No nudity - not by a mile - but it definitely touches on some adult themes out of the normal domain of Barney Fife (but maybe not Mr. Furley). In fact, Doris Day turned down a role in this flick because it was too sexually explicit.
Above, we see a group of shady characters who take Knots' dying bird watchers magazine and convert it into a Playboy style magazine called Peacock (after his last name).
The real fun begins when Knots' new skin mag goes to the top, and he becomes a Hugh Hefner-esque ladies' man. You can imagine how funny a Knots-as-stud plot device would be. A joy to behold.
There's an awesome scene at his new
Definitely a plethora of Miniskirt Monday worthy moments. Knots' entourage is smoking hot and always in short skirts.
Even though the fame and fortune has gone to Abner Peacock's head; he's eventually able to come to his senses and be the humble and honest man he was before.
He realizes he's "been a bad boy", and he needs to make amends to his sweetheart back home (played by Maggie Mancuso)... and this is where a very adult plot point arises. Peacock is going to announce to the world that he's never had sex.
The very idea that the publisher of the top skin rag is a virgin would destroy the magazine. The shady group that started this whole mess conspire to ensure this does not happen.
Take note that Ann Francis (The Forbidden Planet) plays in the role turned down by Doris Day, as the unscrupulous assistant at Peacock magazine.. Her plan to get Peacock not to divulge his virginity is ingenious....
Her plan? To make him not a virgin!... or at least have him believe he's not. Ms. Francis will knock him out - and when he awakes he will be in bed with her and he'll think they had sex. Ingenious.... and, again, a pretty adult scene for a Don Knotts comedy.
I won't spoil how it all turns out. Overall, it's a pretty typical movie, and not going to be at the top of anyone's comedy hall of fame. However, it's a lot of fun, and the 60s look, fashions, music, decor, is a lot of fun. Recommended.
Confessions of a Driving Instructor (1976)
Why is Timothy (Robin Askwith) so happy? He just rocked his driving instructor's world (which literally destroys the vehicle) and now has a license to be a driving instructor himself. Let the hilarity commence!
This isn't my first rodeo with the Confessions series, so I pretty well knew what I was in for going in: lots of ribald humor (Benny Hill would approve). I'd compare them to the Carry On films, but they're a smidge randier.
So, Timmy and his brother-in-law Sidney (Anthony Booth) open a driving school next door to their competitors - the stuffy, uptight gentlemen pictured above - namely Mr. Trescot and his lovely daughter, Mary (Lynda Bellingham - one of my favorite ladies of British cinema).
Wacky hijinx immediately ensue. They splash a fish tank on Mary and are busy fishing a guppy out of her blouse when Mr. Trescot and his nebbish employee, Tony (George Layton), arrive.
Yes, the Confessions series was all about compromising positions. Just as Three's Company could milk every ounce of humor out "misunderstandings", the Confessions series did the same with compromising sexual situations. And you could just about guarantee that those just stepping into the situation would do a spit-take and look profoundly aghast (think of Mr. Furley - eyes bulging in shock/horror).
Next, we meet Timmy's busty landlady Ms. Chalmers (Liz Fraser) and her daughter Avril (Maxine Casson). Silly Timmy has just accidentally spewed his eclair cream all over them (and, no, that's not a euphemism). Both inexplicably have the hots for the lad...
Madame Chalmers pays a visit to Timmy's room to give him a hot water bottle (dressed in a sexy negligee) while Avril is hiding under his covers. You can imagine the gags in this scene.
You can't help but wonder why a guy that looks like an uglier version of Peter Noone (Herman's Hermits) is constantly having women throw themselves at him. A willing suspension of disbelief may be required.
So, Timmy develops a relationship with Mary (after shagging a few drivers and the landlady in Benny Hill fast speed). There's a climactic rugby game followed by a car chase and a happy merger between the two rival companies.
All in all, this third installment of the Confessions series may be the weakest. The relatively low amount of nudity could have been balanced by a high amount of comedy; alas, this is not the case. My advice: catch an episode of Three's Company or Benny Hill instead.