Vintage Style #47: Men's Fashion Ads for Ladykillers

On the surface, it sounds ridiculous that a pair of polyester slacks will get you on the fast track to scoring with the ladies - but that's the magic of advertising.  You can resist all you like, but logic will not prevail against the ingenious sex-sells tactics of Madison Avenue.  Sure, you can't rationally justify why those plaid trousers will somehow make you irresistible to women; but the image has been planted - the association has been made deep beneath the cortex.  White loafers and fairway green slacks will get you laid.  It is written. Must purchase.

It's as simple as putting a doting chick behind your male model.  Works like a champ (just add an ax for extra manliness).

Buy Goldenaire slacks and "the darndest things happen" - girls in nighties will literally stow away in your luggage.  "We can't promise you a girl with every Goldenaire slacks".... but we kinda just did.

Says the scary, overly attached girlfriend:
"In another second he'll knot that tie and reach for his coat.  I don't want him to go, I love him so,  And when I see him in a shirt like that... bolder, brawnier, ten times the shirt any other man would wear... I know exactly why I love him... he's alive. Crack. Snap. Pop. Alive."

"We ought to call our new Together Knits get-together knits."

Pelaco sleepwear with an embroidered Playboy logo.  Ron Burgundy tested.  Ron Burgundy approved.

Because when you wear Broomsticks, you'll be shagging not one, not two, but three gorgeous chicks on the regular.

Exotic island women will ditch their inferior native partners and fall at the feet of the man in slacks.

Quite literally the BMOC

"Your new bachelor apartment turns out to have a swinging neighbor.  She's already found her way around the kitchen"

Not really sure what's happening here.  Dress in Strike 1 slacks and women will streak for you?

A couple ads promising your dates will finish strong.

 "Ever wonder why some guys always seem to score? A lot of it is the way they dress.  Girls are turned on by guys with a sexy image.  So give yourself an edge- get into Angels Flight, the original - the pant that started the disco look."

It's not just the American ads that employ the tactic.

The birds are a-lookin', and the birds are a-likin'.

A word from the enlightened folks at Canterbury:
"Under every chick lurks a little Women's Lib. Secretly itching to lay her hands on the last stronghold of the male mystique.  Canterbury belts.  Like these virile twists and beefy leathers with potent studs and steely buckles.  So be prepared.  Don't let her borrow your belt unless she's willing to burn her bra."

The poor turkey in the knit hat is left holding his rope alone.  Don't be that guy.

"Hardly a knight goes by without some form of adoration caressing him in his authentic natural shouldered Hardwick blazer."


  1. That all makes me want to dress better. But I won't, because even when I used to, no naked girl ever streaked toward me.

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  3. "I know exactly why I love him...he's alive. Crack, snap, pop, alive." Whaaaaat?? Is she thinking of eating him while he still lives? What a bizarre ad!

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