It's a bit unsettling to look through television trade magazines and find our beloved shows on sale like cattle. But TV is a business, especially when shows make it to syndication and they're auctioned off to the highest bidder. It's a topic we've covered before on Retrospace, but deserves another look...
Labels: The Boob Tube
Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity (1987)/ Purgatory (1988)
Both of tonight's selections are about two foxes unjustly imprisoned. In the first feature, a couple galactic slave chicks wind up victims of the "Most Dangerous Game" trope. In the second feature, a couple white girls end up behind bars in an African hellhole. Good times await....
So, I had some spare time doing a job in Phoenix, and stopped into a used bookstore and found this little jem - a booklet of atrocious 80s fashions. Yes, I do the dirty work, the scavenging, the scanning and the posting for your viewing pleasure. So, I present to you the 1986 Forsell Yarn Fashion Book 1. Enjoy.
I've pulled four records from my stack o' wax. The first two feature groovy chicks in miniskirts on the cover of less-than-mediocre compilation albums. The last two are soundtracks featuring the vocal stylings of Michael Winslow and Ned Beatty. Enjoy!
I simply couldn't hold on to this 1969 magazine insert until Christmas; it's so chock full of crazy garbage, I had to share immediately.
It's been a while since we left the A Frame. If we're going to collect every vintage example of its occurrence, we'd better pick up the pace!
As a refresher, the A Frame is simply a way of framing a picture using a man or woman's widened legs. You don't see the upper portion of the body of the individual providing the A frame, and your perspective is through their legs. It generally is a position of power, where the one below and beneath is submissive to the anonymous A Frame.
But enough talk, let's have a look at another pile of examples...
Half the fun of these magazines are the ridiculous titles like "He Wanted Me For Just Fun-Dates" and accompanying pictures. The articles themselves, however, never fail to disappoint.
I'll also mention that these rags are increasingly difficult to find. I mean, what kind of person, other than a certifiable hoarder, intentionally keeps this trash around for fifty plus years? Visit your local flea market or antique shop and you're likely to find plenty of National Geographic or LIFE magazines, but this stuff was almost never saved.
So, you can thank me later for at least taking some to find and preserve a few pages of these often disposed of periodicals. You're welcome.
I remember when I started Mini Skirt Monday almost eight years ago, I was constantly whining about how the mini has all but left the centers of learning across this great land. But now, lagging a few years behind Europe, we seem to be witnessing a comeback. I doubt it will ever be as omnipresent as it was in 1971-3, but it's a helluva improvement from just a few years back!
Look, I'm not so jaded as to doubt the good intentions behind this record as a public service against child molestation. Nor do I doubt the good intentions of the seemingly endless string of 1980s sitcoms which took a dark turn down the molestation route.
That being said - Dear God, this record is f***ing sick. It contains two peppy songs for kids about getting molested ("Good Touch" and "It's Your Body" by John Braden) and a quaint little story of Webster's schoolmate getting tickled in bad places by his babysitter.
The Wicked Dreams of Paula Schultz (1968) and Test Tube Teens from the Year 2000 (1994)
While wildly different types of films, both of our features have a common theme: escaping a land of repression and entering a strange world of sexual freedom.
In The Wicked Dreams of Paula Schultz, Elke Sommer escapes from the cold Commie world of East Germany by going incognito into the carefree shagadelic Western world. In Test Tube Teens from the Year 2000, a trio of students escape from the cold sexless future run by the sexually repressed Morgan Fairchild by going incognito back in time to the carefree 1990s.
But the similarities don't end there. There is cross-dressing in both films: Bob Crane disguises himself as a woman and the test tube teens do the same. Let's watch!
It's March 1964. JFK had been assassinated just five months ago, and The Beatles were on Ed Sullivan last month. Things were about to change in your little crew-cut, Leave It to Beaver world... and, if the Wheelwright Lumber Company has anything to say about it, so will your home design.
Continuing our scan through the 1961 Fall/Winter Spiegel catalog, we still find ourselves in classy fashions for women... and "debteens"!
In our sixth installment of the Minis on Campus theme (view other Minis on Campus posts here) we resume our look inside the hallowed halls and classrooms of our nation's academic centers in our unrelenting quest for
And if you haven't reached your mini saturation limit with 40+ photos, have no fear - part seven is on it's way next week!
Araña Negra, Goldrake, Genius, Joe Crack... these are some of the headliners of spy/action fotonovellas of the 70s and 80s. Sure, Kriminal, Santos and Diabolik are more famous, but we've covered them before. Let's take a look at some covers featuring this lesser-known band of international secret agents, and champions of truth, justice, and T and A.
For our last installment of spy genre flicks we have Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die (1966) and Agent 69 in the Sign of Scorpio (1977).
We may traverse back into the land espionage again, but my saturation of spy movies has been reached. It was a fun ride, but I'm ready to tackle the next genre.... Women in Prison movies maybe?
It always fascinates me when a product unexpectedly uses the "sex sells" approach. You expect it from advertising for cars, stereos, fashion, booze, and tobacco.... but when a product like an office labeler, rice or horse manure tries to sell the sizzle, it's a happy surprise.
Quick. What's the sound of a spike being plunged into an animated statue of a bull? The answer: "Zunk!"
How do you express the sound of a mud monster absorbing a small child? How about the sound of a werewolf bitch slapping someone? Or the sound of a magic sword being hit by a warlock bolt?
Such is the challenge for comic book writers to come up with textual representations of odd and unusual sounds. It's the art of the onomatopoeia, and it's not as easy as it seems.
On the surface, it sounds ridiculous that a pair of polyester slacks will get you on the fast track to scoring with the ladies - but that's the magic of advertising. You can resist all you like, but logic will not prevail against the ingenious sex-sells tactics of Madison Avenue. Sure, you can't rationally justify why those plaid trousers will somehow make you irresistible to women; but the image has been planted - the association has been made deep beneath the cortex. White loafers and fairway green slacks will get you laid. It is written. Must purchase.
Continuing our walk through spy cinema, we take a look at another Man from UNCLE flick as well as an Italian stab at the secret agent genre with One Spy Too Many (1966) and Dick Smart 2.007 (1967).
So, I've had somewhat of a spy movie marathon. As I travel, I like to watch flicks on the plane, and I've watched a motherload of back to back secret agent films at 39 thousand feet.
It's amazing how close these films adhere to the Bond movie tropes: they all have eccentric megalomaniacs as the villains out to take over the world, suave starched collar types as the lead agents, and are littered with sixties style cheesecake. But as cookie-cutter as they are, I wouldn't have it any other way. For the same reason I like my slasher films to paint-by-numbers, I like my Bond-clones to stick to the protocol.
So, we'll start off our journey into the world of spy cinema with The Spy in the Green Hat, then move on to Spy Today, Die Tomorrow (1967)....
Since mankind started publishing, there have been eds beckoning readers to get off their lazy asses and get in shape. I think the last page of the Gutenberg Bible had a thing where you could tear out a coupon for a "free" bodybuilding course. It's true.
Yes, since we left the hunter gatherer tribes, we have been discontent with our bodies. We're either too fat or too thin, depending on the decade. Naturally, there's always going to be people out there to capitalize on this dissatisfaction - and here is a stack of ads proclaiming the solution to your problem....
Here comes another mixed bag from my stax-o-wax. We've got everything from a German Hammond organ covering The Eagles to racist astronaut comedy. Have a listen!
Once again, in the name of historical study we explore the undergarment sections of catalogs of yore. In the days before the internet, this was the go-to resource for finding ladies undressed. Well, old habits die hard - and we return to these pages, but this time it is in the noble pursuit of historical preservation.
Okay, okay. It's still to look at chicks in their underwear. Enjoy 1978-1983; Part 2 coming soon..