You can put lipstick on a pig? What?


What's with the down-home southern style colloquialisms from the presidential candidates? Obama's saying "You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig." McCain then acts offended even though there's video of him saying this same phrase over and over again.

The whole thing makes me madder than a wet hen in a tote sack.

Well, this is retrospace, so you know it's inevitable that I'm going to lead into retro pop culture at some point. So, here's a few southern sayings from pop history that maybe McCain or Obama could use in their next speech.

I'm gonna cuff ya an' stuff ya! - Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane
And another one from The Dukes of Hazzard (this one is from Boss to Rosco): If brains was watermelons you wouldn't have enough seeds to fill a tin.

If a duck stood still you could catch him by the bill - Ernest T. Bass (Andy Griffith)
Fly a quail through here and every one of 'em would point --Barney Fife, illustrating his point that all the women at Mrs. Wiley's party are dogs

Then there's this meaningless southern phrase from an article on a short lived TV show called "Flying High" : You can't teach a mule to lay eggs, but you can always make a pig squeal by twisting his tail.

click on the picture to enlarge (i.e. click it and it'll grow big... ya'll come back now, y'hear!)

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