Comic Books #8: Captain Tootsie and the Grape-Nut Martian

Is it even arguable that Captain Tootsie is the worst superhero ever? His name alone should earn him this distinction - he may as well have been called Captain Sweetheart. Then you have the added disgrace of his powers being derived from a Tootsie Roll. Only a superhero who gets his powers from a Celestial Seasonings teabag could be more lame.

Did Captain Tootsie just say "You're right FATSO"? Anyway, reading these wonderfully awful comics at The Comic Book Ad Hall of Fame you get the impression that Captain Tootsie loves his Tootsie Rolls just a little bit too much. He simply can't stop stuffing his face with them, and turning every opportunity into a chance for a Tootsie Roll fix.

I don't know which is more disturbing, (1) the fact that the Tootsie Roll company marketed their candy as a health food or (2) that Captain Tootsie is like a meth addict with these things.

Apparently, Captain Tootsie wasn't the only superhero getting high on his own supply - Volto, a superhero from Mars, got his power from Grape-Nuts cereal.

Funny how people can get so excited about a cereal that is often confused with aquarium gravel. Say what you want about the Martian civilization, they must be very regular.

Related Post: Worst Comic Book Costumes


  1. Definitely looks like a lame superhero. Never heard of him before. I learn so much from your blog.

    By the way, I tagged you in a meme that I created myself. It's on my Dino Lounge blog. Please check it out. I hope you'll participate in it. Thanks so much.


  2. I could whoop these guys I bet.

  3. Keith- "Lame" doesn't begin to describe Captain Tootsie.

    And I will indeed plan on participating in your meme. Looking forward to it in fact.

    Bill- I don't know about that. Volto, hopped up on a high fiber breakfast, might be a pretty tough customer. Plus, Captain Tootsie's special candy is like friggin angel dust... no tellin' what he's capable of doing.

  4. I am laughing hysterically about your comment on captain tootsie using his candy like meth and grape nuts being confused with aquarium gravel! LOL!