The first patented roller skate was introduced in the year 1760. A mere 219 years later, and ONJ is wearing them on the cover of People whilst the fad was sweeping the country.

Roller movies like Roller Boogie and Xanadu were raking in big time dough. If memory serves me, the intro to Can't Stop the Music featured a scene similar to the famous Travolta street walk at the beginning of Saturday Night Fever... with two big differences: it was Steve Guttenberg (egad!) instead of Travolta, and he was on rollerskates.

Here's a review of Skatetown U.S.A.:
An all-star cast jam packs this unjustly ignored Disco extravaganza. Scott Baio, Maureen McCormick, and Patrick Swayze compete against one another to the bumpin' sounds of The Jacksons, Earth, Wind & Fire, and even a live performance by Dave Mason! High thighs, ample cleavage and glittery beards date this obscure classic with genuine expertise.
Don't you just want like hell to see this? Well, too friggin' bad, it's not on DVD!

As a certifiable nerd in seventh grade, the mere sound of the words "couple skate" still makes me break out in a cold sweat. Kool & the Gang's "Joanna" was the call for roller boys and girls to join hands on the rink, while the losers stood like lepers quarantined to the carpet.

Skateboards were a big thing too. Sure, the boards were skinny and dorky looking, but you've got to remember we also wore rainbow suspenders and socks up to our knees - a skinny-ass skateboard was the least of our worries.

By the way, you in-line skaters on your fancy shmancy roller blades who are laughing at the 70s - you too will be laughed at in the future. Just thought I'd let you know.

In one of the most hilarious and bizarre TV moments, Wonder Woman dons a helmet and chases the criminals on her skateboard! See it here. This photo from the amazingly comprehensive Wonder Woman site Wonderland.

If Spidey and Farrah are doin' it, it must be cool!


  1. I do remember how popular all of these where when I was a kid. Of course, my parents wouldn't let me have any of them.

  2. I loved skating, though I was lousy at it. Couldn't go backwards, or brake, or anything.

    One thing I miss, though I can't remember loving it at the time, was the lock-ins at the skating rink. Your parents could drop you off and let you load up on soda and candy, skate all night in a seemingly pedophile-free environment. Plus they got the double benefit of you sleeping all the next day and not bothering them.

  3. Oh that Farrah on the skateboard episode of Charlie's Angels was AWESOME. Even at that age, I realized the show was about to jump the shark.

  4. Is this post in response to my comment yesterday about Linda Ronstadt in roller skates? Darius, I remember roller rink lock-ins! Wow.

    Man that movie sounds great, but we may never see it. Scott Baio, Maureen McCormick, and Patrick Swayze! Wow.

  5. Geez... I remember when skates were considered cool. Or "totally cool"...

  6. I can remember begging my parents for the cool sneaker skates! My dad tried to convince me to keep my old ones (which didn't even fit!), but they were so "childish".

    That front "brake" and I did not get along well and I ended up in a lot of bushes. Still, they were so rad! (as I said in the day.)

    I watched Can't Stop the Music a few months back--I didn't think it was possible to hate that douche Steve Guttenberg more, but I do. Jeez, he was SO awful.

  7. I had sneaker skates too. Brown with beige "Adidas" stripes :-) Nothing like removing all ankle support to make skating more challenging.

  8. were we all ever so young as to remember when small skateboards and roller skates were cool...HELL they were always cool...its the community that got unhip....Karen Jackman got me to buy those skates so that I could follow her around the ice rink in summer..mmmm Karen Jackman....