The Retrospace Guide to a Happy Thanksgiving

I'm all about family togetherness, so the last thing I want to do is sound like the Thanksgiving grinch. However, Turkey Day has never been one of my favorite holidays.  I want to like it, but at the end of the day I'm always stressed, bloated, bitter and suffering from a tension headache. It's nothing like the old advertisements...

I think the biggest problem is the expectations.  Know what you're getting into.  It's not going to look like a Norman Rockwell painting.  Quite the contrary. Sure, it's remotely possible you may be one of the lucky ones who has a Little House on the Prairie Thanksgiving each and every year, but for 99.999% of America the holiday mainly consists of uncomfortable moments and severe indigestion.  But as long as you don't have unrealistic expectations going in, you might have a good time after all.  So, let's take stock.
1. The Macy's Parade will become intolerable quickly. The Garfield balloon will not impress you.
2. The family gathering will be punctuated by awkward silences and uncomfortable comments.
3. At least one child will mortify their parents; this could very well be you this year, so be prepared.
4. Even if you are not on a diet, you will feel guilty and self conscious about how much you ate.
5. The bloated feeling will cause you to become irritable and drowsy; a bad combination when fraternizing with judgmental relatives who are also edgy.

Once you accept these facts, you are on your way to having a somewhat bearable or relatively pleasant Thanksgiving!

Read on to peruse through a small gallery of vintage "Ladies of Thanksgiving". Hopefully, it will add a little cheer to the holiday. Enjoy! 

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  1. Might be more enjoyable if more of the ladies toting shotguns resembled those in your pics!

    Have a Happy Turkey Day anyway, and thanks for all the great posts!

  2. Some fairly gorgeous turkey gals there. I would love to have a turkey TV dinner. TV dinners do not exist in China and maybe never will Not in my lifetime. You'd be surprised how much you can miss frozen pizzas and lasagna when you never have it.

  3. That is so true Gilligan, especially the part about the Macy's parade (which basically is now the Today Show extended)

    You left out the Detroit Lions playing bad football on a national stage, that is always a given.

    On that note, I bid you and your family a Happy Thanksgiving!

  4. those are some very lucky turkeys...their last memories will be of hanging out with a beautiful woman in outfits that would make a puritan blush! happy thanksgiving!

  5. Hey Gilligan, you might try to wash the turkey down with a couple of glasses of wine! Always helps me!
    Happy Thanksgiving and thanks again for a great blog!

  6. Thanks, everybody. Thanksgiving is now over. This was one of the better ones - it was actually pretty nice getting together with family this year.

    And yes, champagne jane, the vermouth helped.

  7. Well, this was the best Thanksgiving I've ever had--I spent all night reading a few dozen blogs on this website, I feel like I've died & gone to 70's Heaven! For being Thanksgiving, I don't see any turkeys here!

    FYI Gilligan, since you appreciate the Brady Bunch--you might be interested in a couple blogs I recently wrote on my page. (One is about finding & talking to a former Brady Bunch guest-star, another about an unusual item that once belonged to Robert Reed (Mike Brady), listed on Ebay by his daughter--on Father's Day no less... they're both on my personal webpage (shown below) if you're ever curious!

    Man, thanks again for Retrospace--this is the best thing I've ever seen on the internet!!!!!!