The Occult #4: Occult Lameness

Frank has mastered the radical art of "The Knee of Listening", and will pass this forbidden and arcane art on to you for $7.95. What a pitiful name for an occult practice. The title is actually so bad that I'm curious as to what the hell the "Knee of Listening" actually is. Anyone know?

How disappointing.  Become a certified witch and all it does is get you jobs, relieve stress, and bring more money? What happened to the murderous curses and evil enchantments? I want my money back.

What a name! I tried to make a couple of my own: Psychozizio and Psychozofo. This is fun.

This is my favorite - an occult shaving brush! For $5.00 you can get both the pyramid of mysterious cosmic energy AND the shaving brush! What a steal!

Let me get this straight.  I fill in the eleven blanks and I'll get rich? Let's see.... how about "STOP BEING SO FUCKING GULLIBLE AND PUT YOUR MONEY IN SAVINGS"?


  1. Hi! I'm all about retro, glad I found this blog!

  2. The most disturbing thing in the witchcraft ad wasn't teh witchcraft itself but mention of a Great White Brotherhood. White supremacist witches?

  3. About the "Knee Of Listening" - there was a whole eastern mystic swami/guru trend in the 1970's. An eclectic mix of yoga, mysticism and "enlightenment". I found an excerpt from his book...for the curious

  4. the pyramid power ad triggers a memory of my childhood that would have happened about 1970-71. My parents weren't full blown hippies when I was a child but they did have lots of hippie friends. they also indulged in certain pastimes that involved sitting in large, friendly circles on giant paisley pillows passing an attractive brass "bottle" around. The brass bottle reminded me of an octopus due to the many dangling "arms" that hung from it. One of these people from the friendly circle wore a gold pyramid around her neck. I sat on her pillow with her as she described to me the powers associated with the pyramid and how wearing this particular one brought her luck and protected her with its power. The other people in the group got into a pyramid discussion. The little pyramid actually opened up and revealed an eye inside. I was absolutely transfixed by this tiny piece of jewelry and I have never forgotten that particular pillow get together.