4/21/10

If TV Shows Were Made Raunchy


A friend and I recently got into a highly erudite conversation about which TV shows we’d most like to see adapted to film…. and turned raunchy. Pretend it’s the 70s and some sleazy movie producer wants to make a softcore grindhouse piece of crap television adaptation to be shown at midnight drive-ins. What TV shows would get you to that theater the fastest?

Are there more important things to do right now than think about stuff like this? Yes. But is it fun to think about it anyway? Absolutely. So, here’s my personal top ten in no particular order – with potential taglines thrown in for the hell of it.  Click on movie posters to enlarge.



Mork & Mindy
Tagline: Someone's gettin' it in the shazbot!

Bionic Woman & The Six Million Dollar Man
Tagline: We can build him better, stronger, harder

WKRP in Cincinnati
Tagline: WKRP in a Cincinnati bowtie


Gilligan’s Island
Tagline: A three hour screw

Designing Women
Tagline: The best little whorehouse in Atlanta

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century
Tagline: Bidi-bidi-bidi-bidi-booty call

Laverne & Shirley
Tagline: Doing it our way


Three’s Company
Tagline: Cum and knock on our door

It’s Your Move
Tagline: It’s your MILF

The Secrets of Isis
Tagline: Shazam!

Naturally, the nest step is to think of TV show adaptations you’d LEAST like to see at the midnight drive-in. My vote goes to Barney Miller, the Waltons, Golden Girls, Cagney & Lacey, Sanford & Son, and CPO Sharky.

8 comments:

  1. KaBluieApril 21, 2010

    You can get a Three's Company & 3 Gilligan's Island XXX Parodys.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ehMr5rFjSQ

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEOoqaV8SmY

    & back from the 90's Ginger's Island & Ginger's Island 2

    ReplyDelete
  2. TotalToyzApril 21, 2010

    Three’s Company
    Tagline: Cum and knock on our door

    I swear, if this gets made into an R-rated feature starring Justin Beiber, Lindsay Lohan, and Selena Gomez, I will blame you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. TotalToyzApril 21, 2010

    Most Wanted: I Dream of Jeannie
    Tagline: "She'll do anything for her Master."

    Least Wanted: Hogan's Heroes
    Tagline: "In a POW camp, you do what you must to survive."

    ReplyDelete
  4. TotalToyzApril 21, 2010

    Somehow, this gets me thinking. With all the remakes of 1980s properties out now or due out soon, maybe they'll do a remake of The Golden Girls; only this time, the septuagenarians will be played by Tina Louise, Dawn Wells, Barbara Eden and Barbara Feldon!

    ReplyDelete
  5. jbfunkyApril 21, 2010

    Here's my contribution

    CHiPs

    Tagline: There's a pileup on I-69!

    ReplyDelete
  6. FrostApril 22, 2010

    It's all so wonderfully wrong.

    I was going to mention "Joanie Loves Chachi," but that joke is already ancient:

    http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/joanie.asp

    ReplyDelete
  7. YibbleGuyApril 22, 2010

    I think I may have a winner in the "LEAST Like To See" competition:
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    "B.J. and the Bear."

    ReplyDelete
  8. TotalToyzApril 23, 2010

    No, I think I can top that.

    Jake and the Fatman!
    Tagline: "More bounce to the ounce!"

    ReplyDelete

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