Ads #38: Children

"This young man is 11 months old - and he isn't our youngest customer by any means.  For 7-Up is so pure, so wholesome, you can even give to babies and feel good about it...."


Next up is the Kiddie-Koop. It's sort of a cross between a crib and a coffin.  Check out the way mom closes the lid and covers the screen - completely enveloping her child in a claustrophobic shroud of darkness.  Not unlike putting your child in a shipping crate..... just add packing peanuts!

Kiddie Koop

Next is the Sunshin Lamp....

UV Light for the whole family

"Every Sunshine Lamp gives all the health rays of sunshine - the important, luminous, stimulating Ultra Violet and penetrating Infra-Red rays..."

As if the second hand smoke in those days wasn't bad enough, they had to bombard the kids with UV and Infra-red radiation! A perfect compliment to Junior's lead painted room with asbestos insulation.


  1. Ad 1: Add 7-Up to MILK? Is that where Laverne got her famous Milk & Pepsi recipe from?

    Ad 2: Is that an enema swinging from that coffin crib picture in the middle?

    Ad 3: "Tans them brown as a vacation at the beach." Love those HUGE goggles on that little toddler & the mom - looks like something right out of a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

  2. "As if the second hand smoke...wasn't bad enough, they had to bombard the kids with UV and infra-red...A perfect compliment to Junior's lead painted room with asbestos insulation."

    You say that like it's a bad thing.

  3. I would like to take this time to thank you for maintaining an awesome blog. It's quickly becoming an invaluable source of contextual information and inspiration for my creative works (I am a member of an electronic dance music group heavily influenced by ridiculously inaccurate futuristic designs of the past).

    Keep up the great work!

  4. Totally scary!
    Especially the anti-uv goggles, they show how dangerous the process is!

  5. The ironic thing is, when 7-Up started out, not only did they put lithium in it, they advertised that they put lithium in it, because back then lithium was praised for its calming effects. "Takes the ouch out of grouch" was an ad slogan. In fact, the very name of the beverage is derived from lithium; they took the atomic weight of lithium, 6.91, and rounded up to 7. Helpful for quieting crying babies, I guess....

  6. totaltoyz - Fascinating. Thanks for sharing that information. I'd heard Coke got its name from cocaine, but the 7-up - Lithium connection is news to me.

  7. 7UP...they need to bring back the lithium! Then these kids wouldn't need Ritalin and all those other drugs they need to calm down.

    Kiddie-Koop...just a crazy idea that will most likely make your child a claustrophobic in his/her adult life.

    Sunshine Lamp...the fact that both mom and baby have to wear protection goggles should be warning enough.

  8. "Pepsi" comes from "dyspepsia", too.

  9. In the 7-Up ad, the WTF cherry on this SWEET LORD! sundae is the caption to the right of the baby, reminding us to watch the TV show "Soldiers of Fortune."

  10. I've seen the 7-UP ad, and there's one circulating that promotes giving soda to babies that may or may not be real. I've been saving a couple of creepy ones myself for my own children in advertising post.

  11. I've seen babies many babies drinking soda in the food court in the local mall. Not to mention babies in high chairs being fed French fries.

  12. 7-Up, You Like It. It Likes You-And Your Kids. Because 7-Up is a pedophile.

  13. There's no evidence to support the claim that 7-Up got its name from the atomic weight of Lithium.

  14. Pepsi-Cola's name comes from its use of pepsin and kola nuts in the recipe. NOT from dyspepsia.

  15. AnonymousMay 17, 2012

    I love this blog and the enlightenment on time past. It's unreal the things they did in the 50's and they wonder why Baby Boomers are so unhealthy? Couldn't be the infared radiation, x-raying your feet at the shoe store, mercury laden teething powder, crib cages, feeding them pop! Lead paint...spraying the streets with DEET.
    Amazing they lived!
    I'm pretty sure that today if you put your kid in a "Kiddie coop" you get CPS called on you!