Vintage Reads #8: Awful Books

These books may be awful, but I'd love to have every one of them. Alas, most of these come from other sources that I've thrown on Retrospace Zeta over the past year or so, and not my own collection.

 I didn't want the page to take forever to load, so the images are small - click them to embiggen.

Why is there a grown man hiding in the shadows while this young boy is taking a bath? Don't answer that. I don't want to know. And I also don't want to know where his other hand is.

Ah, yes. There's nothing like a romantic stroll by the nuclear reactors to renew the passion. Personally, I prefer the coal refineries for romantic walks, but I guess I'm old fashioned.

Toy making is a bitch. Image source

It seems Honor Blackman not only knows the secrets of self-defense, but she also is a bionic Shaolin monk. In the next frame she finishes him by removing his spine.

Sewing is some serious business. Don't knock it. These guys will kick your ass.


  1. Ah yes, remember the days when Bob Stine was the "Jovial" editor of Bananas magazine, and not R.L. Stine of Goosebumps fame and fortune?

  2. These book covers are so ridiculous I have to tell myself they're real and not Photoshopped images. It's unbelievable to think these things were actually published. It makes me want to go to a used book store and find some of these myself.

    On the men's sewing cover, the man in the righthand corner looks like actor Clancy Brown.

  3. Honor Blackman IS a bionic ninja! She kicked ass on "The Avengers", and with James Bond too.

  4. The guy in the Bathroom and Kitchen book actually seems to be in the medicine cabinet over the sink. That's even creepier.

  5. Napoleon's women look like they're retaining Waterloo.

    "A kind of Loving" was a marital guide for Soviet couples who were suffering from infertility and impotence. The subtitle was "The Chernobyl Syndrome and you"

    Great covers!

  6. AnonymousJune 30, 2011

    "Dwarf Rapes Nun; Flees in UFO"

    That's what I call creativity.

  7. Genius, sir. We are all in your debt. By far the finest blog page I have ever seen. A high bar, indeed.