Needlework A-Go Go #7

The things they did with yarn in the 70s gives me the shivers.  Crochet is fine for sweaters and scarves, but when it starts trying to be "fashionable" and "trendy", things get out of hand.  Let's face it - people did a lot of drugs in the 70s, and drugs and needlework do not mix. You wind up with things like the image above. A man should never put a belt OVER a sweater.... and then combine it with an ascot - damn!

I'm going to ignore the fact that this woman has an otherwise nice looking outfit accented by a bicentennial mid-waisted belt that matches her purse which bears three large balls of yarn.  Instead, I'm going to focus on that poor dog forced to wear a cape. If he had any dignity he'd fight it, but it looks like he's goin' with it. The neighborhood mutts must tease him mercilessly, as well they should.  It's sad really, that a descendant of the mighty and majestic wolf would come to this.

The man on the right is sporting leather pants and a tank top crochet sweater OVER another crochet sweater... and the chick is focused on him, and could give a shit less about the guy on the left.  I guess those checkered Herb Tarlic pants never were too flattering.

Okay, now things are getting out of hand.  I lived in the seventies, I wore horrible clothes in the seventies, and I saw lots of people wearing horrible clothes in the seventies.... but I never - I repeat, NEVER - saw anyone who was not Elton John wearing a red, white and blue shag vest . Wow!

I included this picture because the girl on the left with the brown sweater and yellow dress is in EVERY catalog from the 70s, and I'd really like to get her name.  In fact, this anonymous woman is worthy of an entire post.  She's in tons of needlework spreads like this, and catalog after catalog - from Montgomery Wards to Sears, she's there throughout the decade.  I doubt there's many more people out there who've spent as much time as I have paging through old catalogs and needlework booklets, and so I speak with some authority when I say this chick is the most ubiquitous catalog model of the decade.... and I don't even know her name.  Someone out there help me out.

JESUS H. CHRIST ON A RITZ CRACKER!! Mama's wearing a pair of see through pants, and dad's got on a crochet suit jacket. Damn.

Here's my ad copy:

Look out ladies, these guys are on the make.  Suave, sophistacted, and not afraid to put on some yarn, these gentlemen demand attention.  Whether it's in the hot tub or at the club, these boys want satisfaction, and the ladies are only too willing to oblige.  Women say "yes" to yarn.

And one more, just to show you that crochet isn't all bad. But then, if it's worn by the right woman, are miniskirts ever bad?



  1. Dude... Sorry to say, but you're only fooling yourself about pic 3. If you look closely you'll see the sweater is actually one piece and has been knitted to suggest two pieces. To me, that's even more horrific ^_^

  2. And they double as oven mitts!

  3. these are great! in the 70s i wore vests, hats, and scarves that were made by my grandmother but never some of those far out (as in far out there) items.

  4. Without a doubt, these are the most hideous pictures you have posted in your needlework category. I have some unfinished crochet work from the 70s in the bottom of a cedar chest...some kind of a granny square outfit. All I ever made with Phentex was slippers. That yarn will never disintegrate in a landfill. Great post!

  5. Wow, amazing cultural archaeology here. What must the aliens think of us?

    Also, in that shot with your Famous Anonymous Model--could Mr. Brown Fedora in the background BE any creepier? Looks like he's getting ready to either kidnap the both of them, or else unravel their sweaters. :P

  6. Zerographic is correct. When 2 layers of yarn would be too warm, fake it! I want crocheted pants that look like I'm wearing crocheted underwear on the outside.

    Ya think that kid with the robe had to pee? He was probably scared to the point of having to pee by seeing his mom and sister in see-through clothes. Or that clown thing on the floor.

  7. I'm really digging the see-through pants. Got to get Mrs. Hound to maker herself some of those.


  8. I would like to know exactly why the seventies was all about crochet, macrame and knitting, pretty much any make it yourself craft. I used to be big into craft projects when I was in middle school (in the nineties >_>) and if I checked out a book from the library about macrame projects, they were usually made in the seventies with women with stick-straight hair in mustard yellow slacks with their macrame owls hanging on the walls of their 70's houses. I used to have a whole big-ass book on how to sew, make pottery, make macrame wall hangings and belts, pretty much anything you can think of (it might have even had beginners metal-crafting for belt-buckles) but alas, I don't have it anymore.

    So yeah, what was the deal with the needlework? Did the hippies start it and suddenly it became cool?

  9. A guy in Nantuk Ombre is anything but one tough hombre. EWWWWWWWWW

  10. LOOOOLLL!!!!

    OMGs, I have tears in my eyes from laughing!!

    That Nantuk Ombre XD XD XD ad - plus your ad copy holy shite XD XD They go together so well, hee!!

  11. Do you actually have the patterns for the men sweaters?