The Boob Tube #19: The News

Stay classy, Östergötland.

I remember hating the news when I was a kid - it was so boring.  But at least you only had to suffer through it for thirty minutes each night.  Thank God, there wasn't 24 hour news networks back then.  Ted Turner really unleashed a gargantuan piece of crap when he brought about CNN.  It's been downhill ever since.  Here's a few observations about the change: 

There was nothing flashy about it.
There were no obnoxious computer graphics or annoying ticker scrolling along the bottom. It seems like every show on FOX News is heralded by a fanfare greater than the 1812 Overture before and after every commercial break!

It wasn't retarded. 
I recently turned on CNN and caught Larry King riding in a convertable with Snoop Dogg.   Somewhere between the Lindsay Lohan stories and speculations about who will be the next American Idol judge, they manage to slip in a poorly researched bit of news.

There were no talking douche bags
It basically started with the OJ Simpson case in 1994 and the talking heads are still with us! Here's your two options as a news network: (A) real journalism, which requires lots of time and research or (B) get a 3 or 4 attention whores to bitch for an hour.  Sadly, the cable news networks have unanimously chosen B.

Feel free to chime in with your own rants. I'm sure there's plenty more to complain about, or (gasp!) contradict.


  1. Everybody I know complains about how the "news team" banters back and forth between items. You can't tell me this opinion has not filtered down to the TV station. So why do they still do it?

    I too always hated the news as a kid, and I still do. It's worse now; too flashy, obnoxious Who Wants to Be a Millionaire music, the way they take themselves so seriously by showing opening credits where they flash a smiley photo of each "news personality" accompanied by a failed Hollywood voiceover guy saying their name with great authority, all the glass and rare wood in the sets/desks. In contrast, I now look fondly back on the days with the ugly fat lady who was the anchor on KWWL in the '70s, sitting at a painted plywood desk in front of a painted sheetrock wall.

  2. Paddy Chayefsky nailed it pretty well in 1976's "Network."

    Where is Howard Beale when you need him?

  3. I used to wear a loud clip-on tie in the late 70s as a kid and pretend I was Roger Grimsby & Bill Beutell from Channel 7's Eyewitness News.
    Gone are the days when news anchors had a few hi-balls at the bar across the street before going on and even smoked on-air.
    A short clip here just about sums up what ol' Grimsby was like :

  4. Who can forget the anchorman back in the day? The helmet hair, mustache and loud suits means on thing....the air of authority!

    Speaking of YouTube, they have clips of old newscasts from WJW Channel 8 out of Cleveland titled City Camera News, if you have any spare time, check them out!