Mini Skirt Monday #81: Leg X-ing

Anthony Quinn, you sly dog.
One common complaint of the mini was the annoyance of having to constantly be mindful of you were sitting.  Unlike pants and long dresses, sitting with legs akimbo could result in a glorious or embarrassing eyeful (depending on your perspective). Thus, high school yearbooks and family albums from the early seventies are full to the brim with girls with legs crossed and strategically placed hands for cover.  I'm sure it became almost reflexive for the women, but still something to be cognizant of nonetheless.

So, in a constant effort to milk the Mini Skirt Monday for all it's worth, this post shall hereby be devoted to The Crossing of the Legs.  Enjoy.


Sex Sells #26: Big D Nuts

Those of you in the UK will no doubt remember the Big D Nuts girl.  When I first saw it, I was a bit shocked at the level of sexuality present in advertising for nuts of all things... but then I realized these nuts were primarily located in pubs.  Then it all made sense.

The "D" in Big D actually stands for "Dallas", the place where the peanuts actually come from. During the 1970s, some genius (and I don't use that term patronizingly, I mean a true genius) decided to put a hot chick on the package.  Evidently it was a success because this marketing strategy lasted all the way into the mid 80s.

Even better, the Big D chick not only wound up on the package, but also on the patented "babe board".  The babe board was a display of the Big D girl obscured by packages of peanuts.  As people purchased the packs, the picture would become more and more revealed.  Ingenious. It never featured nudity, but did push the envelope about as far as it could go.


Retrospace Recommends

Yes. Here's another shameless attempt to make a buck from Retrospace.  But, hey, puttin' this stuff up every day I think deserves a few bucks now and then.  Purchasing any of the products on this list will send some change directly into the pockets of Retrospace to keep this place running.

Anyway, if you're in the mood to buy a book, here's a list of some that have the same vibe as Retrospace.  In other words, if you like this site, you'll probably enjoy these books. Take a look: to visit the item at Amazon, click the link below the image.

Album Covers #17: German Singles

Truthfully, my knowledge of Germanic music is limited to Kraftwerk, Falco, "99 Luft Balloons", and David Hasselhoff.  But I can vouch for their killer 45 sleeves.  The music maybe not so much... but the sleeves are effing incredible (incredibly awful or incredibly awesome depending on your tastes).

Take a listen to a 1970s German single "Dschinghis Khan" (shown above) to set the mood while you peruse this small gallery of German singles cover art.  Don't say I didn't warn you.


Retrospace Mix Tape #14: 60's Soul

When I hear these contemporary black pop stars, with their autotuned voices and cookie cutter hits, it makes me sad. African American music was nothing short of phenomenal in the 60s and 70s.  What artists today could ever dream of coming close to Marvin Gaye, Curtis Mayfield, The Temptations, Isaac Hayes, Al Greene.... the list goes on.

But this isn't about mourning the lack of soul in today's music.  This is about celebrating the soul that was alive and well during the mid to late 1960's.  I tried to include tracks that you haven't heard a million times, and I've included album art for each song.  I spent a great deal of time coming up with my favorite - these are by no means just thrown together.


Needlework A-Go Go #20: The 1960's Needlecraft Scene

click all images to view full size
Is knitting making a comeback? I sure see a lot of trendy looking yarn places popping up in the "cool" parts of towns - sometimes right between a coffee shop and a "medical" marijuana store.  Chalk it up to just being another fad.... or, maybe it's a bit deeper than that.  In a generation where nothing is handmade and everything is disposable, it probably seems kinda wonderful to actually create something yourself and have it for keeps.  Just a thought.  Enjoy "Pop Fashions", a needle craft pamphlet from the sixties.


Magazines #25: Sunset Magazine (August 1972)

Pacific Monthly began in the late 1800's and contained a diverse array of topics.  Tolstoy and Sinclair Lewis had text published in this Oregon periodical.  In 1911, it was purchased by the Southern Pacific Transportation Company and merged with its current mag, Sunset.  By the time the 1970s rolled around, this magazine was basically a bunch of advertisements and short articles on "Western Living".  (It's still around today, although I haven't read any current copies of it.)

As far as Retrospace is concerned, the more advertisements the better.  Here's a look at a few nice ones that I've scanned for your viewing pleasure.

Mini Skirt Monday #80: Barbara Eden

Harper Valley PTA earns a special place in the miniskirt hall of fame because the song was about a woman wearing a mini, much to the dismay of her judgmental neighbors, and was sung by Jeannie C. Riley, a country singer who always wore mini skirts. 

Well, there was another Jeannie who wore minis - the lady in a bottle played by Barbara Eden (who, incidentally played the lead character in the Harper Valley PTA movie adaptation). The first few years of I Dream of Jeannie saw plenty of miniskirts; however, none were on Jeannie.  Then, around 1968, that all changed.  Eden started sporting a mini in every episode - perhaps wearing it more often than the iconic pink genie outfit!

So, I would be remiss not to have an ongoing vintage miniskirt post series and not include Barbara Eden, who rocked the mini like no other for a few magical years on TV.  Here's some screen grabs for your viewing pleasure. Click to enlarge.


Vintage Fonts #1

It's amazing to think I've been doing this blog for three years and haven't had a 70s font post. This topic was long overdue.  Just like the clothes, hair and decor, the seventies had a very distinctive lettering style.  I can spot a 70s font a mile away.  I'm not so sure the 2010s have a unique flair to decorative text, only time will tell.  One thing that is inarguable, however, is that the seventies was a time unto itself in every detail - down to the very letters on a page.

Of course, the same could be said of the sixties and eighties, but I'm particularly fond of the seventies brand to putting down a word.  I can't describe what it is - it would be too simplistic to say it was bold and off-the-wall.  It was more than that - it was ubiquitous.  Unlike the sixties, where wild examples of text were usually confined to concert posters and other forms of pop art, off-beat lettering was on everything from grocery store ads to high school textbooks.

So, let's check out some seventies lettering. Enjoy.


Opinions and Rants #36: The Death of American Science

The story of American scientific advancement in the 20th century goes something like this: Before WWII, scientists and inventors were few and far between.  The War changed all that – the country’s economics boomed, the value of scientific advancement was realized, and the GI Bill sent thousands of men into the sciences that wouldn’t normally have even considered it.

The Atomic Age was born.  Science became the means to prosperity, a Utopian lifestyle and an end to the Commies.  We put a man in space, a TV in every living room, and a mushroom cloud in the Bikini Atoll.   Every kid wanted to be an astronaut and every mom dreamed of automated kitchens – it was science’s golden era.

Our newly minted scientists were chomping at the bit to outdo the Ruskies, but once the Cold War wound down, the competitive spirit went with it.  But science was saved by the microchip, and another boom was born. Americans looked at the computer with the same awe and optimism as they had with burgeoning technologies decades earlier.  Within a short span of time, satellites were put in space that interconnected every human being on Earth that could afford $20 a month.  Atom smashing, fiber optics, space shuttles, nanotechnology, String Theory, the Human Genome Project…. Science was here to stay, and by God, it’s going to be one helluva ride!

Maybe for the rest of the world, but not America.  Here, it’s dying.

Vintage Business #11: Steno Pool Fantasies

Larry Page Orchestra- Executive Suite

My boss is a female. In fact, my boss' boss is female.  I am well aware that the workplace gender dynamics has changed dramatically over the years.  It's true that men still get paid more for doing the same work statistically; however, when you compare the playing field of today versus the workplace of the 1970s and earlier, it's unarguably better.

Indeed, the image one gets of the typical workplace of the pre-Reagan USA, is that of the smoking and drinking male with his harem of doting secretaries.  The image has certainly been embellished by the brush strokes of pop culture (i.e. Mad Men, 9 to 5, and porn), but it's not too incredibly off the mark.


Big Announcement: The Forums Are Up!

Commit that address to memory folks.  I'm really excited to announce the grand opening of the Retrospace forums - a place where we can share and discuss all things vintage, from TV shows to fashion ads.  It's all there.

As far as I can tell, there's no vintage forums out there that really cover the topics that Retrospace deals with. This will hopefully fill that void.  In the forum, you can share images (scans, old photos, collectibles, records, etc.] and also your opinions and information.  I look forward to seeing the great images and reading the interesting discussions that will surely come.



The Vintage Home #14: Euro Designs

German interior design is very different than American - or at least it was.  The furniture and decor seem more space-age, more clean and sterile.  You wouldn't accuse anything in this German design magazine of being "quaint" or "rustic".  It's all very sleek and functional.

These pages come from several issues of German/Sweden publications from the early 1970s and the late 1960s. I had a blast flipping through these.  They've got it all: from egg chairs to mini skirts, this certainly isn't dry reading. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Click on the links below to view the pages full size.


Music Lists #14: The Top 30 Faceless Bands

This idea started as a thought I had on Facebook.  I didn't get a whole lot of suggestions (I'm still trying to figure out exactly how Facebook will fit into the Retrospace Universe the way Tumblr and podcasting has); but it did get me started thinking about all those bands of the 1970s that I had NO IDEA what they looked like.

It's almost incomprehensible today that Billboard's charts could be dominated by bands who wouldn't be recognized by even an ardent fan.  Indeed, popular music has ALWAYS relied on image as a part of its allure: from Elvis and the Beatles to David Bowie and Madonna.  The music and the image have always gone hand in hand.... but not so much in the 1970s.

Something happened in the 70s. The so-called "Album Oriented Rock" bands began to sell out stadiums, and their records (when not being used as a surface to roll joints) were on constant rotation.  How could we know what Boston looked like when there were no music videos, their likeness was not on album covers, and they weren't likely to show up on Captain & Tennille or Sonny & Cher?  The best look at the band you'd get was at a concert: and then it was from 60 rows back through a thick layer of smoke.

In the 1980s, faceless bands became victims of a mass extinction caused by MTV. Certain bands, like Journey, Chicago and Rush, survived; but for most it was The End.  No one wanted to see a Little River Band music video, and it didn't help that they were as ugly as Christopher Cross.  It was back to the way it's always been, with image being as front and center as the music.  It was only during those few years in the 70s when the rules of the game were changed and bands focused on the sounds rather than the looks.  It was brief but refreshing.

So, here's my Top 30 Faceless Bands.... that is to say the best bands of the 1970s who's faces were largely unknown.


Retrospace Big Book #1: Dirty Humor

Here's 375 pages of vintage saucy humor from the 1950s and 60s - the heyday of dirty jokes.  Indeed, all magazines aimed at gentlemen of leisure, Esquire, GQ, and Playboy, were chock full of adult comics. In fact, there were some popular rags like Gee Whiz, Stare, and Laugh It Up that specialized in it. Certain artists rose to the top - namely Dan DeCarlo, Bill Ward, and Doug Sneyd - and made a pretty good living at it.

Looking at these old comic panels some fifty years later, one can't help but notice a few things.  First, the humor is often sexist as all get out.  Also, most of the jokes don't translate well to 2011: we are far too desensitized to sexual matters.  They come off seeming a bit juvenile.  Our 21st century tastes in ribald humor has certainly ventured far into the gutter since these comics were published.


Mini Skirt Monday #79: B&W Slice of Life

Looking through my vast archive of vintage miniskirts, I was struck by what an amazing perspective it gives to the vintage life.  Rather than focusing on the fashion models, looking at photographs of normal everyday people can be a fascinating time portal - better than anything you're likely to get from a professional photo.  This the real deal. This is real life.

So, check out the hair styles, the shoes, the surroundings.... but most of all, check out the amazing minis, brought to you in brilliant black and white. Enjoy!


Charles Nelson Reilly Sightings

I urge you to dust off those old photo albums and listen to what I have to say: Charles Nelson Reilly was everywhere... and we never knew it  Not only was he making more TV cameos than Rip Taylor and Nipsey Russell combined, but he was also busy photobombing polaroids and kodachromes across the country!

When I first spotted a CNR in an old photo, I assumed it was just someone who looked like him.  But then, I started looking at my other photos a little closer.... and guess what I found? Charles Nelson Reilly was in picture after picture - weddings, parties, vacations and just plain candid shots.  It didn't matter - CNR was always there.


Vintage Men's Mags #16: Girlie Magazines A to Z (Part 4)

Consider this series of posts a Sesame Street for adults.  This post is sponsored by the letter "D". "C" may be for Cookie, but "D" is for Dapper, Dare, Daring, Dash, Debonair, Delight.....


Vintage Style #21: The All Encompassing "Seventies" Vibe

You may have noticed that I've changed all 23 posts labeled "Bad Fashion" to "That 70s Style" because it was driving me nuts.  I don't think that 70s fashion is bad - the fashion now is bad.  I guess my original thinking was that I would poke fun at all the over-the-top styles of the decade.  However, I think 70s fashion is an easy target because it went out on a limb. It basically said fuck it, if I want to wear polyester pants so tight you can see every crease of my genitals, then by God I 'm going to where them.

I've said this many times before, but it bears repeating: today, we have no style.  It's easy to poke fun at something funky and wild when you're wearing something so forgetably meh.  Commentors on these posts typically call out hip hugger jeans as an example of a 2000s style, but how lame is that? The 70s dress code wasn't about a particular item of clothing, it was an overall vibe.  Show me a picture of a guy in plain old khakis and a t-shirt and I can tell he's from the seventies, because the "seventiesness" is all encompassing.

Which brings me to this small full color gallery of posed fashion shots featuring young folks demonstrating  that all encompassing seventies vibe.... a fashion that is anything but bad. Enjoy.


Retrospace Podcast #19



If the player above does not work on your computer or phone, try the one below or click here

Track List
Elvis clip
Sunday Afternoon in the Park- Van Halen
Nothin' but a Heartache - The Flirtations
Hula Rock - lew howard all stars (clip with sound bites)
George Burns clip
Police Woman theme
Convoy - CW McCall
William Shatner clip
clip of Porn music (from the "Deep Note" collection)
One Toke Over the Line - Gale and Dale on The Lawrence Welk Show

Sherwood Schwartz RIP

It seems that a lot of Schwartz's actors had trouble taking ownership of his light hearted comedies.  Tina Louise and Robert Reed come instantly to mind.  Plus, the critics never gave him much slack.  Their reviews of The Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island were brutal.... but guess what? Sherwood's shows are still beloved and in constant rotation four decades later! 

So, what did his shows have that the critics and "serious minded" actors missed? It wasn't kitsch appeal - that sort of thing comes and goes, never enduring for long. They didn't have sensational scripts  The actiing wasn't particularly outstanding. The concepts weren't exactly cutting edge. To be honest, I don't have a good answer as to why his shows have endured for so long.  They are so much a part of my childhood that I simply cannot view them objectively

Whatever the reason, I am confident that my great great great grandchildren, living inside some domed city on Mars, will still be watching The Skipper, Marcia Brady, The Movie Star, Sam the Butcher, Gilligan, and even (choke) Cousin Oliver.. Sherwood may be gone, but his wonderful creations will live on.

RIP Sherwood Schwartz


Catalogs #12: Women's Sears Fashion '72

My memory is hazy regarding the good ol' Sears catalog; but I seem to recall there being a little room in the back of all the Sears stores specifically devoted to the glorious catalog.  Maybe it's just my ever decaying memory, but I also remember my parents actually paying for it.... I was surprised that you actually had to pay for a catalog.

For you young'uns, think of the Sears catalog as an early form of online shopping.  We lapped up the fact that you could order stuff from a bean bag chair in the comfort of your own home.  Picking shit out for Christmas wish lists was always fun; although, the toy pages were scant compared to what's out there today for kids.  And, of course, the lingerie and bra section wasn't too shabby either (still isn't, for that matter).

I wish I could bring you the whole shebang, but that would be so tedious that it'll have to wait until they start paying me to do this (i.e. never). Instead, I've got the women's fashion pages. And for those who don't know, Simpsons Sears was basically Sears Canada (a combination of Sears and the Canadian department store, Simpsons).    Enjoy.

Things I'd Love to See

What if pop icons from the 70's traveled to 2011 to serve up some serious whoopass? What if they committed acts of violence and shame to teach these contemporary celebs a lesson? For instance, I'd die happy if I could see some melismatic American Idol  contestant butcher a Beatles song only to have a very unhappy and undead George Harrison emerge from beneath the stage, hands outstretched.  At that moment, the camera pans to Jaye P. Morgon and Anson Williams banging the hell out of their gong.  Ahhhhh..... sweet, sweet justice.

Call me disturbed if you will. But I'd love it nonetheless.


Vintage Reads #28: Trashy Books O' Plenty

What is it that's so interesting about these old paperbacks that has created such a fan base fifty to sixty years later? I mean, there's hundreds of blogs devoted to them, and that number seems to grow every week.  I've noticed more and more coffee table books on the subject being published as well.... not to mention the value of these novels keeps creeping up.

I think it's a combination of nostalgia and art appreciation.  These books allow you to step back in time better than any other device, including movies.  They're meant for the masses, so they don't strain to be "literary" - thereby making the picture of the past even more vivid.  And even the poorly painted cover art has it's own charm.

Plus, these trashy books try to cross lines of good taste with ribald titles like "The Homicidal Virgin"; but end up being unintentionally funny to the jaded and desensitized readers of the 21st century.

So, with those thoughts in mind, let's have a look at some more of those wonderful trashy paperbacks of yesteryear...

Mini Skirt Monday #78: The Bob Newhart Show

In addition to being one fo the greatest shows of all time, The Bob Newhart Show also delivered plenty of minis.  Of course, 1972 was a big year for miniskirts in the US, so nearly every show that year had its fair share. But The Bob Newhart Show is special...

Take a look at season one. Every time the camera shows the office elevator, there is a girl in a mini skirt in it - without fail.  Plus, the swinging bachelors, Jerry and Howard (pictured above), were often found with a pretty miniskirted lass at their side. And let's not forget the secretary, Carol.  Sure, she wasn't much of a looker, but she still somehow rocked the mini skirt every single week. It would be a pretty cool drinking game to take a drink every time somebody says "Hi, Bob" (the show's catch phrase) and every time you spotted a miniskirt. You'd be wasted by the end of thirty minutes.

 Oddly enough, Emily Hartley never wore a mini - which is strange considering Susanne Pleshette was a popular sex symbol for years.  She was only 35 when the show started, so it's not as if she was too old.

Anyway, take a look at a small gallery of screen shots.... and keep an eye out for Penny Marshall.


Ads #41: Out of Control Men's Clothing Store Ad

I recently came across this ad from a 1982 newspaper.  It's an advertisement for a men's clothing store called "Stitches".  Is it just me, or does it look like this little party is getting out of hand? What in the world are these guys trying to do?..... and worst of all - the expression on that one dude's face!  He's out of f***ing control - somebody help this poor woman!

Yes. Nothing sells silk ties and Rayon shirts like a depiction of gang rape. Definite advertising fail.


Obscure Grooves #17: Disco Explosion!

I love disco, but even I have a threshold of how much I can take in one sitting.  Don't get me wrong, I could listen to ABBA and The Bee-Gees all day and not get tired of it.  However, the vast majority of disco was highly unoriginal and all the songs seem to just blend together after a while.  I suppose "you had to be there".  I can see how this might be fine at an actual discotheque (more than likely hopped up on cocaine); but it sure gets monotonous just listening to.

That's why I decided to throw together pieces of a bunch of disco songs into one track. Rather than have you suffer through listen to songs in their entirety (it was not uncommon for disco songs to be over ten minutes long), I've melded them all together into one heavenly hash of 70s disco dynamite.

Given that this is an Obscure Grooves post, you won't see any Saturday Night Fever hits here - only the lesser known disco gems.  In this 15+ minute track you'll hear all of the following...

Bill Summers & Summers Heat - "Straight to the Bank"
Bob-A-Rela - "Spend the Night"
Dynasty - "I Don't Wanna Be a Freak"
Gary's Gang - "Do It at the Disco"
Hydro & Loma - "K.I.C. (Keep It Coming)"
Direct Current - "Boogie Man"
Richard T. Bear - "Sunshine Hotel"
Joe Capaldi - "Shoe Shine"
Space - "Save Your Love for Me"
Sesame Disco - "Me Lost Me Cookie at the Disco"
Pamala Stanley - "This Is Hot"
Ronnie Milsap - "Get It Up"
Linda Clifford - "Repossessed"
D.C. LaRue - "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark"
Pat Hodges - "Fly By Night"


Magazines #24: Humor Magazine Sharity

Time for more thankless acts of kindness sharity.  I've put everything in pdf format this time because some folks had issues with cbr files. Each selection includes a couple sample pages so you'll know what you're getting.  Click the thumbnails to view them full size.

I don't claim that these are the greatest humor magazines ever published, but they definitely make for interesting reads.  Panic and Grin are more or less MAD rip offs, with maybe a bit of National Lampoon's political irreverence mixed in.  The Jayne Mansfield magazine was a one time issue - obviously tongue in cheek.  And lastly, Gee Wiz! - a hundred pages of grown up humor.  Tons of dirty cartoons and jokes, the type you'd find in Playboy, plus a few pin-ups for good measure.


Catalogs #11: Swimsuit Catalog Pages (and How You'd Like to See Them)

Bring on the bikinis indeed.  Here's about fifty scans from catalogs - all swimsuit pages.  You guys owe me big time.

I don't ask anything in return, I do it out of the goodness of my heart (of course, if you want to toss a few greebacks into the tip jar on the right, I won't complain).  However, I would ask you to do me one quick favor: let me know the best way to view gallery images on Retrospace.

I'm just asking a minute of your time to give me your opinion on the way image galleries should be set up on Retrospace.  I ask this because I get a variety of messages from readers on how they like to get their images on the site, and I aim to please.  Retrospace, as you know, is highly image oriented.  I often post large galleries of pictures for your viewing pleasure. There's just 3 viable options I know of to choose from:


Vintage Reads #27: The Christina Books

The Christina books lasted through the seventies and the eighties, through several authors at the helm, and through several publishers.  The series is a testament to what a hot chick on a paperback can do.  Every cover was a full color photograph literally begging to be bought.

All the books were purported to be by Blakely St. John; but in fact none were - the name is fictional.  Interestingly, one author revealed his real name cryptically in Christina's Craving (1984) issue on page 46.   I'm not sure how many Christina books were released and the names of all the authors. It'd be a pretty daunting task to find out, considering there were many European Christina books.  And forget trying to build up a collection - there's not that many available on ebay, and they often go for fifty bucks each!

Every cover featured the alluring titular character, Christina Von Belle; a sexually liberated hottie who snorts a lot of coke.  The model used on nearly every cover was Playboy Centerfold Jill Devries. The Christina series began with Playboy Press (which was later bought out), so it made sense to put a Bunny on the cover.  Devries has the distinction of being the first centerfold model to sign her name on the centerfold. 


The Boob Tube #24: Daytime TV Game Shows

Bob Barker put pimps to shame in the 70s

When I found this magazine at a used bookstore, how could I resist? Bob Barker in Huggy Bear's wardrobe is worth any price. With his Barker Beauties, he was, after all, a daytime TV pimp.

Reading through the magazine, it got me all sentimental about the glory days of daytime TV. Hardly any women worked, so there was a huge audience available while dad and the kids were gone.  Soap operas were plentiful: Guiding Light, Search for Tomorrow, Ryan's Hope, All My Children, Days of Our Lives, Edge of Night, As the World Turns, Young and the Restless..... the list goes on.  But there was also a huge audience during the daytime for games.

Opinions and Rants #35: Happy 4th of July!

The Fourth of July gets me feeling all warm and fuzzy about the USA.  I can't help it; despite what some may say, our country is a good country.... nay, a great country.  We've made a lot of mistakes as a nation, but show me one that hasn't.  It's a shame that tea party and ulta-conservatives had to come along and be such anti-patriotic buzz kills.

Say what?
What did he just say?
Is he cracking wise?

They would have you believe that these guys (tea baggers and conservatives) are the true patriots, whilst liberals are just a bunch of communist pantywaists.  I would argue that this couldn't be further from reality.  They wrap themselves in the flag, just as Wal-Mart once emblazoned all their products with a patriotic red, white and blue "made in the USA" tag.
"But as sure as God made black and white, what's done in the dark will come to the light."
- Johnny Cash, God's Gonna Cut You Down
There's a very un-American spirit in the air on Fox News and talk radio. It's shrill and hateful, but wears the costume of the "Founding Fathers". My grandparents would be horrified.  Yes, my grandparents and their generation would have called their rhetoric treason.  In fact, much of what is said by Limbaugh and Glenn Beck would be considered appallingly anti-patriotic.

And this is where the "Retro" in "Retrospace" comes into play.  Here is my list of 5 Ways Conservatives Would Be Called Un-American by My Grandfather.  I use gramps as a personal example, but his beliefs were the consensus of his generation.


Sex Sells #25: Smirnoff Ad Crosses Line

I'm all about using sex to sell products.  You'll never hear me complain about a suggestive ad; however, this Smirnoff ad may be the exception.  I've got a problem with this.

What's the matter with this one? Let me answer that by explaining to you that the "sex sells" principle can be used in one of two ways...

1. Overt sexual imagery.  Example: A woman in a Playboy bunny outfit in an office supply brochure
2. Subliminal sexual imagery: Example A woman takes a drink from a garden hose in a cigarette ad.

This Smirnoff ad qualifies for neither.  It tries to be subliminal, but it is so unbelievably obvious that the illusion is broken.  We see a chick literally polishing a man's wooden shaft whilst he looks down as someone would who is on the receiving end of a dynamite hand job.  Unbelievable.

You've got to hand it to Smirnoff.  They tried to cross the line.... a line that only Newport knew how to cross.  I commend their frontier spirit.