Bad Songs #12: Euro-Awfulness

One reason for having post subjects numbered (i.e. bad songs #12) is so that I don't have to re-explain myself every time.  Sadly, I end up re-explaining myself every time anyway. (sigh)

Anyway, let me restate what I am considering a "bad song".  It is a song that is fun to listen to for its inherent horribleness.  In contrast, a song by Nickleback, Jay-Z, or an American Idol winner is going to be horrible but NOT fun to listen to .  Does this make any sense?

To use movies as an analogy: Plan 9 from Outer Space (to use a tired example) is bad.... but painfully wicked fun to watch.  Whereas, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010) is also bad, but essentially impossible to watch.

Got it? Good. Let's move on...

Sounds like: A David Lynch soundtrack sung by a chain smoking heroine addict.

Amanda Lear was actually a super hot model who dated Brian Jones, appeared on a Roxy Music album cover, and served as Salvador Dali's muse.  She was quite the disco queen in the seventies, and, believe it or not, this song was a fairly successful hit. Suffice it to say, they were doing a lot of drugs back then.

Sounds like: The Partridge Family bus had a horrible accident, and now it's up to Chris Partridge to take the lead and (worst of all) Reuben begins composing the music.

ABBA was always hit or miss for me.  Some of their music is so brilliantly melodic that it's almost transcendent.... meanwhile, others are just embarrassing stinkers.

Sounds like: Tiny Tim singing like Roy Orbison while crying

Truth be told, this wouldn't be such a bad song if the singer didn't ruin it with his shrill warbling. 

Sounds like: If a gun was pressed against Leonard Cohen's temple and he was forced to record a disco album. 

It's actually pretty catchy.  There's a very real danger that you'll start liking this song before your cerebral cortex can remind you of how awful it is.

Sounds like: Jim Nabors' Dutch paranoid schizophrenic identical twin . 



  1. How could you forget Finnish superstars Armi & Andy's "I Want To Love You Tender"??!!


  2. Quite like Opzij; was surprised to see that Frank Rich had reviewed van Veen's show in the NY Times. Wasn't impressed:
    "''Herman van Veen: All of Him'' is the name of the one-man show that opened on Broadway last night, and all of Herman van Veen is what you get. You get his singing, his mime, his dancing, his jokes, his politics, his fiddle playing. And it doesn't take too long to discover that this is way too much of a poor thing. "

  3. Hey, there are two Bad songs numbered 12- this and the Christmas special.