Food & Drink #15: Wrigley's Pan Fried Nightmares

Wrigley's Spearmint needs to stick to what they know: GUM.  Branching out was a huge mistake.

Take for instance, the dish presented above. Only a gum company could make so many mistakes in a single dish.  Are these cookies? They've got nuts and raisins.... but they're covered in ketchup, so they can't be cookies. It looks like raw meat molded into patties.... yet, the text says they are meatless.  What the f**k is this?  It's going to take a lot of gum to wash away the taste of this meal.

I'm just not grasping the chewing gum tie-in.  At first glance, it looks like they're advertising paella flavored gum!  Plus, the red/white/black color scheme of these ads doesn't lend itself to making this food look even remotely appetizing.

It's bad enough that I have to associate my chewing gum with big slabs of meat, but now they've gone and dropped glazed doughnuts on my ribs!

Okay, these appear to be cored apples.  It took me a minute.  Still yuck.

Oh, Lord.  Did some poor 60s housewife actually try and make this stuff? I realize men back then loved their meat, but, even then, there were limits.

And, I'm still struggling with the gum connection.  You don't see Tyson Chicken birthday cake recipes, or Oscar-Meyer butterscotch pudding recipes, or Hormel brownie recipes, or..... screw it, you get my point.


  1. Hey, I could go for some donuts and spare ribs - but hold the gum. No idea what that's about...

  2. Chew Wrigley's gum after eating these foods that will wreak havoc on your breath.

    I've heard of people being called nutburgers, so I'm wary of recipe #1 for obvious reasons.

  3. All the dishes I see here are liable to give the eater some seriously bad breath. I guess the ad is trying to say here "Eat these dishes, and you are going to NEED our tasty gum. Maybe chew a whole pack of it after eating this food."

    Ads from this era, in my opinion, tended to make food look unappetizing. The colors never seem to render in a very flattering way.

  4. Nutburgers are common among hippie vegetarian types. I used to be a hippie, and used to make nutburgers. They don't taste anything like meat, but they're satisfying and nutritious.

    Oops... Realized the first sentence really should be edited to read "Nutburgers are a popular recipe among hippie vegetarian types." ... But then I decided the sentence is correct, no matter which way you interpret it.

  5. Some of the ingredients in that paella are insane - clam juice? bubbly "lemony" drink? Are they telling me to pour Sprite in my paella? And I'm sorry, but one of the spokes of the paella "wheel" (the one at 5:30ish) is a penis. The other spokes could be penises too, for all I know - I'm not an expert on penises...And the black what, clam shells? sticking out are testicles. Am I the only one seeing this?

  6. It's funny reading people who don't want to nutburgers or donut spareribs or paella with severed penis and Sprite. Yet how many of those same people will, THIS VERY NIGHT, go to Taco Bell for the express purpose of eating DOG FOOD?

  7. One problem here is the pictures. I started to say that this was before food photography became a science, but I see that these are tinted in the black, white and red to match the color's of the Wrigley's gum package.

    I see many food ads and recipes in old magazines that look awful because they didn't know how to photograph food or "use a stand in." Interesting bit of trivia, one of the innovators in food photography is the actress that played Judy in Night of the Living Dead.

  8. I thought at first that hamburger-spaghetti nightmare said "low-risk", lol.