Sex Sells #27: Picking Up Girls Made Easy

Remember all those Picking Up Girls Made Easy ads in magazines back in the seventies? They were in basically every issue of National Lampoon, but they also popped up in everything from Playboy to People.... and I've been curious about it ever since. Unfortunately, I've never been able to get my hands on a copy, but have managed to get a hold of the corresponding 1975 record.

Besides being the lamest thing I've ever heard, it's also mildly creepy.  The scenarios described on the record are absolutely ludicrous..... I pity any fool who actually tried to put these pick-up tactics into use.  Even in the hypersexual seventies, these pick-up strategies wouldn't work on a nymphomaniac on ecstasy. Judge for yourself..

Listen: Womens Clothing Store Pick Up

From the back cover:

“PICKING UP GIRLS MADE EASY will teach you a whole new system for picking up girls — a system that is so complete and so absolutely foolproof you’ll soon be picking up girls automaticallly!!! Absolutely everything is spelled out for you… Picking up girls can be as easy as opening a beer! And the more you listen to the album, the better you’ll get. It’s INCREDIBLE!”


  1. Of course she'll kick him in the nuts once she learns he has no sister. But I guess that'll never happen because he only wants to score once with her and move on to the next hapless chick.

    I really love the big selling point; it's see-through and she isn't wearing a bra! Wow, I bet that happens 75 times a day, so I'm going to quit my job and start doing this exact thing all day every day!

  2. This is freaking hilarious! AND creepy! What a great combo!

  3. "Wow! You're some operator!" I doubt that's what some chick would say, it'd be more like, "Wow! You are really bad at this!"

  4. An acquaintance had the book. Laughable. I got more dates just by being a nice guy.

  5. Undoubtedly there were pancakes in the future for Frank.

  6. fishing in my purse for my mace tbh

    Also geez Frank why do you sound so into your sister...

  7. I found "Picking up Girls n the 90's" at a garage sale. Pretty good tips. Not that I need any but...