Teen Magazines #1: 1985 Summer Movies

Curious what the teen magazines were saying about summer movie releases in 1985? Me neither.  But, it's fun to look, for sheer nostalgia's sake.  For instance, I'd forgotten all about Mare Winningham...... then again, I think I'd forgotten about her the minute I saw her.  what a cast of 80s teen icons in St. Elmo's Fire.... and then there's Mare.

The last I saw C. Thomas Howell was in The Hillside Strangler (2003) and, holy lord, he looked absolutely horrible.  I don't know if it was for the role (i.e. Charlese Thereon in Monster), or he's really let himself go.

I was never a big fan of Cocoon; maybe I just have the attention span of a goldfish, but it was insufferably boring to me.  BTW did you know Wilfred Brimley was only in his forties when the movie was filmed? Yet he looked every bit as old as his octogenarian costars.

I'll also give a shout out to one of my favorite podcasts, We Hate Movies, which has saved me from many a boring car ride and insufferable airport terminal wait.  They recently covered Cocoon and had me in stitches.

My vision of hell:  I arrive in a small dark room with only a single fold out chair and an antique television with VCR.  I turn on the TV and get only static, then notice a couple of dusty VHS tapes sitting on top.  One is The Bride and the other is Emerald Forest.  I clench my hands in fists of rage, raise them to the heavens and yell, "NOOOOOOOO!"

Stockwell was "the man" for a brief time in the eighties (he was Cougar in Top Gun, and starred in Christine, Losin' It, North and South, Radioactive Dreams, and My Science Project). It looks like he's done some directing since and wrote the script for Breast Men (!)

Never saw Fair is Fair, but Helen Slater was definitely an object of lust for her role in Supergirl. Am I right, fellas? (crickets chirping)

Return to Oz is one of the scariest movies ever made. This movie is like a fever dream. Remember the Hall of Heads and the Headless Queen? (shivers)

Fact: Noah Hathaway (Atreu in The Neverending Story) currently operates a tattoo parlor in LA. Cool.

I'll reserve my comments on Gotcha, American Flyers, Real Genius, and Streetwise because I'm anxious to publish this and see your comments on the films listed in this post.


  1. I loved Cocoon. But I HATED The Emerald Forest. It became one of those movies mom had to watch any time it was on tv and she would force me to watch with her. So now it's up there with other hated "Mommy made me watch them when I would've rather have been watching Star Trek" movies like Sound Of Music and Gone With The Wind.

  2. Wow - What a look back into the past! I remember being so excited to have a Wizard of Oz sequel, my brother and I took the bus to go see it together at the mall. It was odd, that's for sure. Good stuff here.

  3. I've seen Mare in quite a few shows lately. She's a very good actress. Was just in the Hatfield and McCoy film a few weeks ago.

    1. I knew it when I wrote it that I was being a bit hard on ol' Mare. It's not like Andrew McCarthy went on to become the next DeNiro. I guess I'm more looking at her from a perspective of the eighties, where everyone else became mega-huge in the teen world, and Mare.... well, she was in Turner and Hooch.

    2. Paul DucaJune 24, 2012

      Actually, Mare was touted as one of the next big things at the beginning of the decade, for her work in non-teen product.

  4. AnonymousJune 23, 2012

    The Back to the Future movies have become a part of our family lore. The kids can recite lots of quotes from the movies to fit the moment.

  5. Looks like "Fair is Fair" was the working title for "The Legend of Billie Jean."

  6. real genius is comedy gold.

  7. JSusskind: I was going to say the same thing a la Fair is Fair. That's definitely what became "The Legend of Billie Jean." There's a scene in the movie that also appeared in TV commercials for the film in which she makes a big speech on TV and proudly proclaims "FAIR IS FAIR!"

  8. I don't know if you heard me, but I agreed with you about Super Helen. };-)

  9. Mare Winningham was great in Picture Picture very recently.

  10. AnonymousJune 25, 2012

    C. 1985 was a very low point for hair fashion.

    One summer day, my parents took me to the mall to see "Return to Oz". I was not quite 6 yet at the time. The movie bordered on horror: Dorothy narrowly escapes electroshock therapy at a mental institution; OZ is overtaken by the evil witch Mombi who changes heads like one would change a head (and she steals the heads from women who live in OZ). The movie was about the scariest thing I had seen since "The Devil and Daniel Mouse".

  11. The wheelers in return to oz have always creeped me out! I loved The Bride because I had a thing for Sting(I think HBO played it alot back in the day). I also loved Back to the future.