Vintage Reads #41: More Paperback Trash

You'll notice that many of the books in this collection have seen better days.  They're pretty well worn.  This underlines my point (one that I've reiterated many times on Retrospace) that we need to be scanning and preserving these things.  The powers that be will no doubt preserve those documents they deem worthy; however, trashy paperbacks from the sixties won't be on the preservation list.

When I do scan a cover, the temptation is there to Photoshop it to death and make it look clean and new.  But I'm on the fence as to whether that's the right thing to do since you'll never get it to look like it originally did without some serious cropping, cloning, erasing, etc.which sort of defeats the whole purpose

Oh, well.  Here's another round of paperback trash preserved for the Ages.  Enjoy!

Not to be confused with Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte.  Believe me, this ain't starring Olivia de Havilland.

Look for others in this series: Guest Room Tax Attorney and Breakfast Nook Day Trader.

Hmmm.  I don't think this dancer's trademark is her bare feet.

The cover artist for this book was obviously just phoning it in.  This may be the laziest cover I've seen.  Three fourths of the cover is blank, and the desk is freakin' empty except for a lousy phone.  How are these big business broads again? Show some happy male customers, maybe some money being exchanged.  This is just lousy.  I expect more from my pornographic paperback covers!

This guy is ever so ready to have a look at that belly button. "Over here belly button. Come to papa."

If I had it to do all over again I wouldn't change a thing.... except my entire life objective would be to become a "soldier of fortune and sexpert extraordinary".

I'm  a little slow.  I took the images on the right to be a walkie-talkie and a furnace.  Nope.  It's a needle and a bottle of booze.  "What chance did a mere girl have surrounded by walkie-talkies and furnaces?"

I think if the illustrator had made the "sexual triangle" about two girls and one guy, it might have sold better.  Plus the guys look like they could be hobbits.

"She wasn't really a nymph.  She was a soft skinned tigress with fire in her blood!"  Now that's the kind of cover blurb I like to see. These old 'dirty' books were all about shock and awe; but, in today's jaded and sexually saturated society, they're damn near comical.

Why does this dude look so freaking depressed?  He looks like Father Damien Karras for chrissake. " The exciting story of men on the loose, moping and feeling bad about themselves."

This is one of those books where you don't need the "adult reading" label.  I don't think anyone was going to mistake this for a Scholastic Book Club choice.

Type this title into Google and you get mostly "The Case of the Missing Rubber Duckie" , a Sesame Street book.  How much difference one word makes!

I love that this is a punch card.  Nice touch.

Did you find it uncomfortable as I did having to make out the cover blurb written along her butt crack?

Yeah.  The Lone Ranger and Green Hornet are into the wife swapping scene big time. What of it?

Yes, those roaming bands of homosexuals are really a menace to society.  Will we ever be free of these marauding hordes of gays?

The story of giantess who liked to wear two pairs of panties at a time.

Am I crazy or wouldn't the title have been so much better as "Lust and Found"? 

They're right.  I looked it up: "klootchman" is jargon for a Native American woman or 'squaw'.  

What the hell does the NY Daily News mean by "modern half woman"? I tried to look it up to find some reference, but no dice. Help on this matter is needed.  The book's copyright is 1966 if that helps in anyone's search.



  1. On the Manhandled cover, are those men on the right and left? They look so lady-like.

    These are fantastic. So many covers; so many artists with problems expressing 3-dimensional objects.

  2. When I first saw The Wild Path I thought it would be a zombie novel. Even knowing what it's really about, I keep thinking it's about zombies. Gay zombies, apparently.


    1. Gotta be a different Pat Conroy,
      but the cover is almost certainly
      Eric Stanton art.

  4. So there is apparently something kinky going on between Miss Fury, Catwoman, Lone Ranger and the Green Hornet. I know Miss Fury and Catwoman are into whips and black leather jumpsuits.

    I think the woman on the Lust Shoppers (Sounds like a supermarket) cover is putting on Depends.

  5. "They tossed the hot potato of adultery and immorality" I played hot potato when I was a kid. Didn't seem particularly sexy though...

  6. "Lust lost and found": The girl's underpants must have been painted on afterwards, hence the strange form and color. "We can't publish this, it looks... you know... almost FILTHY. Give her decent underwear, for heaven's sake."

  7. the SEXUAL TRIANGLE cover looks like a bad rendition derived from a Raquel Welch poster or still from BEDAZZLED (1967), I think.

  8. Half woman is, I assume, code for lesbian. But as to research, the Oxford English Dictionary (22 volumes) only has reference to things like half-reptile/half-woman. I did find An Encyclopedia of Archetypal Symbolism (1997) has a reference to this: DUALITY AND RECONCILIATION-Ardhanarisvara, the Lord Whose Half Is Woman
    page(s) 358. We don't have the book so I can't look it up.

  9. The MODERN HALF WOMAN comes from Ibsen's play THE DOLLHOUSE. It refers to women who make a noise about themself, and put themselves center stage.

    1. http://books.google.com/books?id=2ouBuYXeTTsC&lpg=PA117&ots=crU5K5GC0G&dq=MODERN%20HALF%20WOMAN%20%22doll%20house%22&pg=PA117#v=onepage&q=MODERN%20HALF%20WOMAN%20%22doll%20house%22&f=false

  10. I googled around and the Pat Conroy who wrote all those books about the South may well be the same one who wrote that porn: keeps coming up as part of his publishing catalogue...

    Here's an example: http://books.google.com/books/about/Manhandled.html?id=V8XutwAACAAJ

    And another: http://www.librarything.com/author/conroypat

    I am soooo confused!

    1. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do, just to pay the bills...

    2. Holy crap. Thank goodness Babs didn't star in this adaptation.

  11. Yeah, that's the same Pat Conroy... I met him once in Beaufort SC where he lives and asked him about Manhandled. The Manhandled series has a huge cult following here in the South. Remember he's the son of the Great Santini so being around sleazy military base whores and sex fiends was just part of growing up, and once he and his girlfriend were raped by a couple of Butch Dikes with strap on dildos.

  12. Also, I like how Wantons Debauch has that little "adults only" blocking her ass crack...
    I think Wild Paths to Choose is really a zombie novel where someone Photoshopped "homosexuals" over "zombies"