The Horshack Redemption #7: New Year's Evil (1980)

The Professor and Gilligan tackle the top TV dramas of the 70s and 80s before diving head first into the insane world of New Year's Evil.  Buckle up, it's going to be a wild ride.Here are a few ways to tune in....
  1. You can listen through Retrospace (via the web player above): I'll deliver a post with the web player every time we record a new episode.
  2. You can subscribe if you have an RSS feed reader:
  3. You can bookmark the Horshack Redemption web page:
  4. You can download this podcast:
  5. Listen to us on iTunes and Stitcher, and be sure to give us a "like" or a "thumbs up" if you enjoy it.

Comic Books #63: The Farmer's Daughter

You're familiar with the "cat and mouse" gag - "Tom & Jerry" and "Wile E. Coyote & Road Runner" come instantly to mind.  But there's a trope which is a slight modification, which is much more popular.  It contains three basic elements/characters:
(1) The Addict, (2) The Prize, and (3) The Goalkeeper
(1) Yogi Bear, (2) picnic baskets, and (3) Ranger Smith
(1) Kids, (2) Lucky Charms cereal, and (3) the leprechaun
(1) Plankton, (2) the Krabby Patty secret formula and (3) Mr. Krabs
Well, when I saw there's a 1954 comic based on this gag where the prize is a farmer's daughter, and the addict is a bunch of horny men.... well, I had to investigate.  And like the Lucky Charms leprechaun, the farmer (goalkeeper) is sure to experience plenty of stress keeping those grabbing hands off his little girl.  Let the fun commence!


Pulp Pages #4: The National Police Gazette

I love the scene in So, I Married an Axe Murderer where Charlie talks with his mother about her "news":

Charlie: Hey Mom, I find it interesting that you refer to the Weekly World News as, "The paper." The paper contains facts.
May: This paper contains facts. And this paper has the eighth highest circulation in the whole wide world. Right? Plenty of facts. "Pregnant man gives birth." That's a fact.


Dungeons & Dragons #6

I was recently on a plane that had been directed to idle on the tarmac for an unspeakable amount of time. Together, a few hundred strangers and I shared the same claustrophobic, humid, and increasingly smelly environment.  Thankfully, the flight attendant allowed us to use our electronic devices while we waited.

As I turned on my phone, about to dig in to Whitley Streiber novel (Wolfen) on my Samsung, a loud, booming voice began to emanate from the passenger diagonal from me.  An overweight fellow in a muscle shirt was talking on his cell phone.  I was instantly annoyed... but my annoyance turned to rabid interest as I listened to his conversation.  He was talking rather enthusiastically about an upcoming game of Dungeons and Dragons.


School Daze #12: Have You Got What It Takes To Be A Cheerleader?

I ran across an article in Young Miss (October 1975) titled "Have You Got What It Takes To Be A Cheerleader?" and my interest was piqued.  I've scanned the article and reprinted some of the interesting portions for your viewing pleasure.  Enjoy.


Mini Skirt Monday #173 : More Cheerleaders

I haven't done a cheerleader Miniskirt Monday since January 2012.  Which is a shame since no other "profession's" uniform is so indelibly tied to the majestic mini.  Sure, tennis players and stewardesses went through miniskirt phases, but none have stayed true to the mini as steadfastly as the cheerleader.  Once the girls ditched the long dresses in the early sixties, it was miniskirts only up until hot pants offered some competition in the late seventies.

You could almost say Retrospace owes the cheerleader another post. And so, here it is.


The Horshack Redemption #6: Fast Break (1979)

After discussing their top 3 video games, the Professor and Gilligan embark upon the 1979 sports flick Fast Break.

Here are a few ways to tune in....
  1. You can listen through Retrospace (via the web player above): I'll deliver a post with the web player every time we record a new episode.
  2. You can subscribe if you have an RSS feed reader:
  3. You can bookmark the Horshack Redemption web page:
  4. You can download this podcast:
  5. Listen to us on iTunes and Stitcher, and be sure to give us a "like" or a "thumbs up" if you enjoy it.


The Vintage Home #17: Partridge Family Interiors

The Partridge Family didn't have near the interesting home as The Brady's, but then their dad wasn't an architect.  Plus, they didn't have the money like the Brady's either - no stay-at-home-mom or live-in-maid.  It was more of an average home, and perhaps that's what got me to take another look at the Partridge abode.

Because the house didn't have the size or flair of the Brady residence, the scenes nearly always took place in either the kitchen or the living room (in front of the stairs).  Sometimes, the camera would venture into the boys' crummy little upstairs room or Mom's elegant boudoir, but it wasn't common.

Of course, this is typical of any sitcom, whether it's Married with Children or All in the Family, there's just one or two main settings and that's it.  So, what makes the  Partridge residence of San Pueblo so interesting? The decor, of course.


Cinema #32: Actresses on Nude Scenes

Lord knows there's a lot of attention put on nude scenes, but I thought it might be interesting to take a different perspective.  In this post, we'll look at the words from the actresses themselves - their own opinions and experiences doing them in cult movies.  For whatever reason, I found this rather interesting - and I hope you do as well.


The Horshack Redemption #5: DC Cab (1983)

The Professor and Gilligan name their top three game shows before diving into the 1983 film, DC Cab. They'll discuss the many instances of air humping in the film as well as the very subtle and nuanced performance by Gary Busey.

Here are a few ways to tune in....
  1. You can listen through Retrospace (via the web player above): I'll deliver a post with the web player every time we record a new episode.
  2. You can subscribe if you have an RSS feed reader:
  3. You can bookmark the Horshack Redemption web page:
  4. You can download this podcast:
  5. Listen to us on iTunes and Stitcher, and be sure to give us a "like" or a "thumbs up" if you enjoy it.


Wonder Woman - S1E5

Wonder Woman, Season 1, Episode 5
Title: "The Feminum Mystique Part II"

I highly recommend you reread the previous episode as this is the second part and things may get confusing. Instead of giving you a rehash of events in Part I, I'll link to it instead.

In this episode, the Nazis land on Paradise Island.... and Nurse Karen from Halloween II thinks they're cute. Enslaved Amazons, big hunks of Feminum, and Drusilla cleavage... what more could you ask for?  Let's go!


Full Reads #3: High School Bad Girl

From the pages of My Romance magazine (Feb 1959) comes "High School Bad Girl".  In this exciting story of innocence lost and regained we learn (1) getting drunk with a guy named Zip in a dirty boat house is probably a bad idea, (2) skinny dipping is the worst thing a human being can do short of mass murder, and (3) most importantly, don't ever - EVER - drink Papa's whiskey.


Mini Skirt Monday #172 : Brady Bunch Minis (Part 2)

We'll finish off season four in this post.  We'll cover the episodes where Marcia gets whacked by a football, falls hopelessly in love with a married man. But most of all, we'll cover the minis.  So, sit back and enjoy part two of the comprehensive guide to Brady Bunch miniskirts.  Onward ho!


Kid Stuff #18: Comic Book Toy Ads

DC Showcase #87
You know it's been so long since I've opened up a new comic book, I don't even know if they still run ads anymore.  If they don't, it's a shame, because a lot of the enjoyment came from these strange little adverts directed at kids.  Sure, they were almost certainly rip-offs, but who cares? It was rare (if ever) that you actually ordered anything; so, it was more the equivalent of window shopping for elementary school age boys.

In case these new comics are too good to include cheesy toy ads anymore, here's a handful of vintage advertisements to fill the void. Enjoy.


Our Zazzle Stuff

'Tis the season to spend lots of money, so why not spend a few bucks at the Retrospace Zazzle store?  In a sad materialistic grab for cash, I've decided to sell some customized products.  Your purchase helps this site keep on truckin', plus you get a kick ass gift - it's a win-win!

I'm selling only two types of products: calendars and mousepads.  Each have that special Retrospace flair.  If you enjoy the images on this site, you'll enjoy these items.

There's just a handful of selections up at the moment.  But, I'm adding stuff each day.  So, if there's nothing that jumps out at you today, be sure to check back and see what new retro goodness is lining the shelves tomorrow!

Here's the link to the Retrospace store: http://www.zazzle.com/retrospace

Happy Spending!

Vintage Reads #50: Sci-Fi & Fantasy Covers (Part 2)

Another round of science fiction and fantasy covers coming up. (Part one can be found here.) Be prepared for an overdose of trippy imagery and buxom babes.  The transcendent combo of space-age tomfoolery mixed with blatant eroticism is like peanut-butter and chocolate. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.... but these vintage covers are always interesting. I quite literally could pore over these covers all day.  Enjoy.


The Horshack Redemption #4: Deadly Blessing (1981)

What do you get when you combine the magic of Charlie's Angels and the macabre of Wes Craven?  You get Deadly Blessing.  Come listen in as Gilligan and The Professor dissect this early eighties horror flick.

Here are a few ways to tune in....
  1. You can listen through Retrospace (via the web player above): I'll deliver a post with the web player every time we record a new episode.
  2. You can subscribe if you have an RSS feed reader:
  3. You can bookmark the Horshack Redemption web page:
  4. You can download this podcast:
  5. Listen to us on iTunes and Stitcher, and be sure to give us a "like" or a "thumbs up" if you enjoy it.
As we roll along, we'll deliver up a twitter and facebook page as well as an app.  This is only our fourth episode, so there's still some kinks to iron out, but I think we're starting to get the swing of things.  I still tend to get tongue tied and The Professor's audio isn't at max quality, but the content I think is strong... and most importantly, we're having a lot of fun doing it.  Surprisingly, with only a few podcasts under our belt, we're managing to develop a significant pool of listeners - which is very promising, and certainly bolsters our motivation to press on.

Next week:  DC Cab (1983) starring Mr. T!


Catalogs #34: Sears 1981 Fall/Winter Catalog Men's Fashion

The two dudes in dark leather could easily be partners in a cop show.  Screw Starsky & Hutch or Simon & Simon - I give you the new '81 police drama: Dakota & Hightower.


Mini Skirt Monday #171: Brady Bunch Minis

Get ready for a comprehensive guide to every miniskirt in the last two seasons of The Brady Bunch.  Minis and the Bradys are the backbone of Retrospace, and it's high time they united.  Future generations will thank me for the scope work I've done in Miniskirtology (it's not a scientific field of study yet; but, in the future it will be).

Anyway, this post will cover the first half of season four.  Enjoy!


The Horshack Redemption #3: Airport '75

Gilligan and The Professor take a long hard look at the disaster film Aiprort 1975.   Heston is even more macho and hammy than Shatner (if that's even possible), Karen Black seems lost and mildly retarded... and pop culture connections abound, from The Jeffersons to Webster, from The Karate Kid to The Omen, there's a lot to take in, folks.  Buckle up and enjoy the ride.

Here are a few other ways to tune in....
  1. You can listen through Retrospace (via the web player above): I'll deliver a post with the web player every time we record a new episode.
  2. You can subscribe if you have an RSS feed reader:
  3. You can bookmark the Horshack Redemption web page:
  4. You can download this podcast:
  5. Listen to us on iTunes and Stitcher, and be sure to give us a "like" or a "thumbs up" if you enjoy it.
Also, a Horshack Redemption app is on its way.  Stay tuned!


Just for Laughs #9: Return of the Monster Party

Back by popular demand... well actually, back for no reason other than I was in the mood.  But anyway - here's another round of silly horror humor.  Enjoy!


Music Lists #20: 1977 Musicians Poll

The April 1977 issue of National Screw magazine asked various musicians,"What do you consider the most essential records in your collection?"  The answers I found to be fairly predictable, with a few obscurities thrown in.  Nonetheless, I'm always interested to hear music recommendations, so I figured you might be as well - so, here it is!

Full Reads #2: Police Gazette '73

Here's a few articles from The National Police Gazette (August 1973 and May 1973).  The articles are reprinted in their entirety; many of the pictures are added by yours truly.

"Sex and the Tennis Girls"
This article can basically be boiled down to a single sentence: "Some female tennis players have sex."  It's marginally interesting only for it's awfulness.

"Where Have the Ghosts Gone?"
Disappointing anecdotes of the most non-frightening kind.  Another article made enjoyable by its sheer badness.

"The Secret World of Erotic Fantasy"
This article claims to be a "valuable document" - "the first ever produced by a magazine".  Hmm.  Judge for yourself.  IMHO, if this is a valuable document, then Penthouse Letters should receive the Pulitzer. 


Wonder Woman - S1E4

Wonder Woman, Season 1 Episode 4
Title: "The Feminum Mystique" Part I

In this episode:

Debra Winger has a Wonder Wedgie
We learn Alejandro Sosa from Scarface is not only a drug lord, but also a Nazi
Drusilla, WW's little sis, is an embarrassment at the dinner table
We find out that WW's mother is Morticia Addams
And, as always, lots of Nazi henchmen armed with chloroform.

So, what are you waiting for?


Mini Skirt Monday #170: Group Photos (Part 3)

Here's yet another roundup of vintage minis in group photos.  Part 1 was published the day after Christmas 2011, and Part 2 back in August 2013.  I kind of bashed them a bit last time, complaining that they're a bit repetitive.  But, I was quickly put back in my place - the audience demands more group minis, so here they are. Enjoy.


Foxy Ladies #26: Beauty Queens, Pageant Ladies (Part 2)

Beauty Pageants are a time-honored American tradition.  It's become almost cliche to oppose them from a feminist standpoint; however, once upon a time they were an integral part of American culture.  Perhaps reality television and the phenomenon of putting elementary school girls in adult-looking pageants has given the practice a bit of a white-trash vibe.  But not here on Retrospace.

Don't get me wrong, the Retrospace staff wish to make it abundantly clear that we value what's on "the inside"; however, judging chicks strictly on their bodies is also okay. Mutually exclusive principles? Perhaps, but it's best not to think too much and just enjoy the show.


Vintage Style #39: Ladies Home Journal Fashions

A touch of class.  Nothing says 'wine tasting' like polyester bell bottoms and matching sweater.  Here's a bunch of scans from Ladies Home Journal.  All from 1974 unless otherwise noted.  Enjoy.


Foxy Ladies #25: Amateur Photography

Professional models are often the brunt of jokes for the lack of talent and skill required to do their job (i.e. Zoolander).  I mean, how much does it take to stand up there and look beautiful - especially when you're already a fine specimen of good looks?

Well, look no further than amateur glamour photography and see the sharp distinction.  The photographer's resources are limited, and the "models" are completely clueless as to what it takes to "strike a pose".  It's a recipe that beckons for a Retrospace post.


The Horshack Redemption #2: Piranha (1978)

Our second episode is now available, and we're reviewing the 1978 film, Piranha.  I think it turned out great, but we've still got a long way to go before everything's the way we want it to be.  We still get tongue tied during the first 15 minutes or so, lots of "ums" and less than stellar audio quality.... but it's still early in the game and I think the positive aspects outweigh the negative.   If you even get half the enjoyment from listening to it that we did recording it, it's a success in my book.

Also, I was amazed at how many people tuned in to the first episode - way beyond my expectations. Thank you to every one who gave us a try - here's to many more!

Listen to us on iTunes and Stitcher, and be sure to give us a "like" or a "thumbs up".


Here are a few other ways to tune in....
  1.  You can listen through Retrospace (via the web player above): I'll deliver a post with the web player every time we record a new episode.
  2. You can subscribe if you have an RSS feed reader:
  3. You can bookmark the Horshack Redemption web page:
  4. You can download this podcast:


Retrospace Sharity #2: True Crime Maganines

Long before CSI and the motherload of "true" crime television that's popped up over the last decade or so, there were true crime magazines to satisfy a nation's craving for stories of murder, revenge and justice.

Herein are a handful of those true crime magazines, scanned and posted for your downloading pleasure. Enjoy!

Miniskirt Monday #169 : Partridge Family Miniskirts

When I broke out Seasons 1-4 of The Partridge Family, I expected to compile a bunch of screen captures of Laurie Partridge and quickly put together a Miniskirt Monday post. But it was not meant to be.  Laurie (Susan Dey) rarely wore a mini, despite the fact that 1970-72 was prime-time for TV miniskirts.  For whatever reason, Laurie appeared primarily in slacks and long, long dresses. The Diane Keaton of family television.

This wasn't just disappointing, it was surprising.  Susan was a model before she was a Partridge; it just doesn't add up.  Thankfully, there were enough mini skirts beyond Laurie that I was still able to put together this post.


Music Lists #19: Elton's 100

In the February 1974 issue of Creem magazine, Elton John revealed a list of his favorite albums.  A pretty respectable one, if you ask me - even though he does kinda cheat by including greatest hits LPs.  Elton is a worthy discophile nonetheless, and I thought it might be worthwhile to reprint his list for Retrospace readers.

From the article:
Being one of the most avowed record gluttons on public record - with more records than he's ever been able to count - we figured that having Elton John list his personal favorite albums might yeild an interesting compilation. "Sure thing," said Elton when we approached him with the idea, and he immediately began spewing record titles like a man possessed. When we finally had to forceably wrench the pen from his hands, he'd already gotten up to 286 and was just beginning to hit his stride. What we've done is amputate one hundred entries from the list (thrown together in no particular order), but should you want to know the full roster, just slide a quarter our way and we'll mail the full , uncensored edition back to you in a plain brown wrapper.

1. AFTERMATH (The Rolling Stones)
2. RUBBER SOUL (The Beatles)
3. PET SOUNDS (The Beach Boys)
5. DIRECT HITS (The Who)
6. GASOLINE ALLEY (Rod Stewart)
11. ANTHOLOGY (The Temptations)
12. TALKING BOOK (Stevie Wonder)
13. FROM THE BEGINNING (Smokey & Miracles)
14. CALL ME (AI Green)
15. ANY Monty Python album
17. IN MEMPHIS (Dusty Springfield)
18. BOOKENDS (Simon & Garfunkel)
19. HIGHWAY 61 REVISITED (Bob Dylan)
21. RETROSPECTIVE (Buffalo Springfield)
22. FOR YOUR PLEASURE (Roxy Music)
23. MOTT (Mott the Hoople)
25. WORDS AND MUSIC (Jimmy Webb)
26. 12 SONGS (Randy Newman)
27. MISS BUTTERS (The Family Tree)
28. Qt'+%& (Led Zeppelin)
30. SATURATE BEFORE USING (Jackson Browne)
31. XMAS ALBUM (Phil Spector)
32. BEHIND CLOSED DOORS (Charlie Rich)
33. SPLIT ENDS (The Move)
38. BLONDE ON BLONDE (Bob Dylan)
41. CHINA STORY (The Goons)
42. COSMO'S FACTORY (Creedence Clearwater)
44. ASTRAL WEEKS (Van Morrison)
45. SGT. PEPPER (The Beatles)
46. GOLD RECORDS (Elvis Presley)
49. WHAT'D I SAY (Ray Charles)
51. DEAR MR. FANTASY (Traffic)
53. BAND OF GOLD (Freda Payne)
54. GRIS GRIS (Dr. John)
56. GREATEST HITS (Gladys Knight & Pips)
59. ZIGGY STARDUST. (David Bowie)
60. HIGHWAY (Free)
62. 1st SOLO LP (Scott Walker)
63. SONGS FOR A SEAGULL (Joni Mitchell)
64. CHILDREN OF THE FUTURE (Steve Miller Band)
66. SALTY DOG (Procol Harum )
67. ELECTRIC LADYLAND (limi Hendrix)
68. LADY IN SATIN (Billie Holliday)
73. SOUL CLASSICS VOL. I (James Brown)
74. SLADEST (Slade) .
76. SATIN DOLL (Oscar Peterson)
78. SCHOOL'S OUT (Alice Cooper)
82. WITH A LITTLE HELP (Joe Cocker)
83. I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW {Johnny Nash)
84. PEARL (Janis Joplin)
85. MOON DANCE (Van Morrison)
87. LET IT BLEED (The Rolling Stones)
90. TAPESTRY (Carole King)
92. ELEPHANT MOUNTAIN (The Youngbloods)
93. ELI & THE 13th CONFESSION (Laura Nyro)
95. LIVE (Donny Hathaway)
96. TO LOVE SOMEBODY (Nina Simone)
100. BRAND NEW KEY {Melanie)

Ads #74: Japanese Advertising (Part 3)

Can Pink Lady interest you in some light reading? Pouring through these old Japanese adverts, it's truly startling how often Pink Lady endorses products - everything from air conditioning window units to inflatable toys.  Further proof that a short skirt is the universal language of advertising.

Anyway, I've got another round of those crazy Japanese magazine ads for you today.  This is a follow up to Parts One and Two.  Enjoy.


The Horshack Redemption #1: Convoy (1978)

It is with great pleasure that I officially announce the premier of the official Retrospace podcast:  The Horshack Redemption.

Every week or so, The Professor and I will review a film from the Retrospace universe - and by "review" I mean: have a blast sharing opinions, interesting facts, and deep thoughts. Nothing too complicated: we simply pick a film (this week it's Convoy) and have fun with it.

I've had so-called "podcasts" before, but they've been music only.  This is the real deal, folks. And since this is the first one, there's plenty of room for improvement.  I'm confident that they'll get better and better as we roll along.  It's a blast watching these old flicks and a lot of fun discussing them... it is our hope that you'll get a similar amount of joy from just listening in.

How can you listen to The Horshack Redemption?  There's several ways - just decide which works best for you.
  1.  You can listen through Retrospace (via the web player above): I'll deliver a post with the web player every time we record a new episode.
  2. You can subscribe if you have an RSS feed reader:
  3. You can bookmark the Horshack Redemption web page:
  4. You can download this podcast:
  5. And finally, we've put our applications in to iTunes and Stitcher. I'll let you know when we're legit.

Comic Books #62: Dumb Bunny

"You can believe me, Dumb Bunny... even if they do say I only use my head to hang my face on!"

Wow.  When I saw this advertisement, I knew I had to find out more about this Dumb Bunny.  She's got the costume of a Playboy Bunny and a vacancy on the top floor.  This has the potential to be both politically incorrect and embarrassing to DC - I simply had to read more.

Please note that I completely understand that the Inferior Five comic books are meant as a joke - it'd be a whole other matter if they made Wonder Woman or another genuine super-heroine this stupid.  Dumb Bunny, was actually a parody of Wonder Woman and had a brief revival in the eighties as the wife of Ambush Bug.

But I've lost my non-comic readers at this point.  Let's get on with the semi-retarded blonde in the Bunny costume...


Sexploitation Connections: Happy Days Edition

So, I thought a fun way to pass an hour might be to just connect the dots from one tawdry film to another. Not all the films are "sexploitation" but they definitely deliver the goods in the eye candy department.  In other words, this isn't just hopping from one grindhouse flick to another (although, that would be fun, and I'll keep that in mind).  This is just tracing through the cinematic web, concentrating on the dirty underbelly. Consider me your James Burke of trash.

Also, you'll note I maintained a fairly consistent relation to Happy Days. Sometimes the connections to Happy Days are tenuous at best, but so be it.  All in all, it was a fun way to kill an hour.  I hope you have as much enjoyment reading it as I did making it.  See if you can follow along...


Mini Skirt Monday #168: The IN Crowd

You know who I'm talking about.  The ones who got picked as the ":most" or the "best" something in the yearbook.  They were the "senior favorites", the guys and gals that got the most votes of the campus populace.

Well, this, as you can tell, is a Miniskirt Monday post, so we're just looking at the yearbook winners who happen to be wearing our favorite garment.  I apologize for the shit quality of some of these, but these old yearbooks weren't exactly printed in high def.  

Note: The only "tampering" is in the text where I have sometimes obliterated last names, and sometimes moved the text nearer to the photograph.


Twisted Impressions #19: The Brady Volcano Episode

I joined the science club at school, and I'm building a volcano. When I'm finished, I can make it erupt. And when it erupts, smoke's going to come out, and real molten lava's going to ooze all over the place.
- Peter Brady
When it comes to TV episodes with an underlying sexual connotation, there's nothing more Freudian than The Brady Bunch episode "Today I am a Freshman" (1972).  It's the one where Peter's "volcano" spews a load all over a gaggle of girls in short skirts.

It might be a completely innocent story line with no intended subtext; but there's a case to be made that there's some underlying meaning as well.  To make the case, I have hired a professional Armchair Psychiatrist, Dr. Karl Hymen to interpret the meaning.


Vintage Reads #49: Horror Novels

When I think of the history of horror fiction, I mentally categorize them into three very simplistic eras: The Olden Days, The Retrospace Era, and The New Era.  (No doubt there are thousands of literature teachers and professors out there shaking their heads sadly in unison.)

"The Old" consists of everything from Matthew Lewis' Monk to HP Lovecraft.  It includes those Victorian Ghost Stories and Gothic tales by Poe and LeFanu. Some of the my favorite from "The Old" are Melmoth the Wanderer, Uncle Silas, The Turn of the Screw, and, of course, Stoker's Dracula.  Event the Penny Dreadfuls have something to offer. Nothing provides a better escape during the Halloween season than a good old fashioned haunted mansion in Dickens' England.


Retro Film Report #39: Dracula. The Dirty Old Man (1969)

When an already terrible movie has to redub the entire film from scratch (because the original sound was so poor and didn't line up), it starts to transcend the "terrible" and enter into the murky waters of "train wreck". Add the fact that the film is beyond tasteless, mean spirited, and tacky to the fullest extent of the word, and you now have left the realm of "train wreck" and entered the realm of "dumpster fire".

So, if you're in the mood for a dumpster fire - something akin to burning garbage, then this may be for you. It's inept, poorly executed, and without any redeeming quality... other than its shameless bad taste which it revels in.  When I saw it for the first time, I was slack jawed amazed..... when I saw it the fifth time, I realized that I obviously have very bad taste in films, because here I go again.

But, hey. Tasteless incompetence can be fun when it's done wrong.... horribly, horribly wrong.  And I love every minute of it.  This is a 44 year old dumpster fire that still smells like shit.  Take a whiff and see for yourself, if you dare.


Mini Skirt Monday #167 : One Among Many

I don't care who you are, there's one - and only one - thing your eyes are centered on in that picture.  Does this woman realize all the men within range are stealing glances?  And how many times have the men that flank her instinctively had their gaze wander in her direction?  Too many to count, I'm sure.

Indeed, the miniskirt exudes a gravitational pull on the male eyeball.  Call it biological or call it a quantum attraction, but don't deny its reality.  And when that room is full of stuffy men in suits smelling of Aqua Velva and other women in long dresses or slacks, that ocular attraction becomes amplified.

In this post, we salute the girls who, alone, donned the mini - much to the delight of the males present, and much to the detriment of the gals who did not.  Lone miniskirt wearing chick - Retrospace salutes you!


Retrospace Sharity #1: 15 Horror Magazines

Retrospace Sharity is back! (I'm starting back at #1 since all previous sharity posts are dead.) After being cast aside by Rapidshare, another file sharing service has arisen to carry the torch and provide the masses with the retro material they crave.  Sure, we've lost everything from the past 3 to 4 years, but the agony of defeat has only made us stronger (and horribly bitter... but that's neither here nor there).

So, bottom line, here are 15 vintage horror magazines made especially for your downloading pleasure. You're more than welcome, and Happy Halloween!

Retrospace Radio Halloween Rewind

As I've mentioned repeatedly on Retrospace, I was stricken when both Rapidshare and another file sharing company ditched me like a bad habit less than a year ago.  All the files that I'd worked so hard to compile and upload for my loyal readers were gone in a blink of an eye.

Well, you can't keep an obsessive compulsive down for very long.  I'm experimenting with ways to still deliver the goods.  Here's a couple Halloween mixes I put together back in October '11 and '12.  It should download, but I can't find a way to stream it for you yet.  Consider this an experiment.  An experiment in awesomeness.


The Boob Tube #48: Horror on the Tube (Part 2)

October 1987
Horror on the Tube (Part 1) 10/1/12

Television is better today in so many ways: we didn't have shows like Breaking Bad and Mad Men back in the day - shows with such an amazing attention to detail. Of course, we didn't have AMC or a hundred other cable stations - our options were much more limited...... and yet....

And yet, with just a few channels on the dial, we got an array of movies that blows away today's TV schedule.  There were no infomercials or profoundly retarded reality shows clogging up the system.  Every night there were gobs of movies to choose from - often stuff that will never even make it to DVD.  Stay up late, and there's no telling what double bill you'll end up watching.

For horror hounds like myself, those days are cherished memories.  I wish I could click on the boob tube tonight and catch some of these fright night jewels.  The beauty of it was that it was a purely serendipitous experience.  You watched what was on, not what you carefully researched then rented or downloaded.

Anyway, here's a bunch of horror TV ads which hopefully conveys the wonderful variety of horror offerings local networks provided us way back when.  Enjoy.


Vintage Scan # 27: Donny & Marie Coloring Book (1977)

I found this Donny & Marie coloring book from 1977 and felt the need to share.  Far be it from me to make fun of it - there's nothing wrong with a little D&M love.  However, the artwork is so incomprehensibly poor and the content itself so mind-bendingly inane, I can't help but smile at its overall badness.

For instance, I can't imagine even the most ardent D&M fan enjoying the laborious process of coloring in Donny Osmond packing a suitcase, or holding a plane ticket, or any other page of eye-watering mundanity. But then, this is an el-cheapo Whitman coloring book, so what was I expecting?

Anyway, here's a good bit of the coloring book scanned for your viewing enjoyment.  Thank you, and the pleasure was mine.


Retro Film Report #38: Nine 1980s Horror Movies You Haven't Seen

Okay, I know there's a lot of horror buffs out there that have seen every movie on this list multiple times; so, please don't cause a ruckus over the title.  It simply means I'm taking a look at some horror titles that the vast majority of you haven't seen, or even heard of.  Let's face it, who needs a review of Nightmare on Elm Street at this point?  Or even Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (groan).

I'm digging deep here, folks. Like the dwarves who dug too deep in the Mines of Moria, I'm in danger of unleashing the Balrog.  Not to worry, - Gandalf Gilligan is here to get us through.  One word of warning up front: Most of these movies are forgotten for a reason.  When you're this deep in the mines, you're not likely to strike gold.... but when you do, it is all the sweeter.


Catalogs #33: Men's Fashion - Sears Fall-Winter 1974

This group of guys look like they should all be members of some elite crime fighting group and have their own TV show.

The Freddy Mercury looking hombre on the bottom left is Esteban.  He's been known to diffuse bombs with his teeth while maintaining perfect hair..

The fella on the bottom right? That's Victor, the muscle of the crew who walks the fine line between lawman and criminal.  Delivered one of the finest no-holds-barred beat downs ever shown on network television.

Top right: Cornelius - ex pusher turned cop.  But just 'cause he stopped slingin' H doesn't mean he's working for the "man".  His heart will always be in the ghetto.

Top Left: Illya Nickovitch - Fought his way out of the Russian army wielding only a butterfly knife. Trademark: chews on carrots.

The magnificent bastard bottom center is the leader of this group, Nathan Wind.  Rumored to be dating Jaclyn Smith.


Album Covers #41: Side B Track 3

Just for the hell of it, I thought I'd sift through a stack of old records, post their glorious cover art, and list the third track on side B of each record.  Why? This is the Internet -  Do we really need a reason?

Of course, there's the required snarky commentary by yours truly - so there's that value bonus.  Who will win the award for best Side B Track 3 title?  Continue on faithful reader...


Deep Thoughts #8: This Is Progress?

There can be no doubt that we live in climate of sweeping change..... but is it progress?

You have to really take a long hard look at what "progress" means to answer that question.  Is it progress to have big-ass flat screen televisions, impossibly cheap corn based food, high speed internet, air conditioning, stainless steel refrigerators and granite counter-tops - but we each have to work sixty hours a week? Or, instead of progress, are these just sad little treats; a poor exchange for a life of labor?


Just a quick update: Retrospace can now be accessed through retrospace.org (or www.retrospace.org).  I got tired of always having to refer people to this godforsaken URL of my-retrospace.blogspot.com.

Of course, this new URL simply redirects readers to the shitty original URL, but at least we have a domain that's not a ridiculous blogspot address.  I'd love to have gotten rid of it entirely, but there's too much that would be hijacked by moving everything to a new domain.  I would go into the details, but I'm boring myself already, so I'll spare you.

So, pardon this brief interruption.  I just wanted to let you know that if you want to refer anyone to this site, you no longer need to spew out the complicated blogspot URL anymore.  A big thanks to the generous donations from you folks that keep this blog rolling along - I thankfully didn't have to reach into my own pocket to make this happen.  Keep the donations coming - the tip jar is always open.

Vintage Scan #26: A Donnie & Marie Show Script

I found this script at a used bookstore when I was in Salt Lake City in 2011.  It's actually a rather fascinating read - just seeing what the participants on this variety show held in their hands. This particular episode has as its guest stars Dirk Benedict, Debbie Boone and Paul Lynde.  It was the final episode before the show morphed into the mid-season replacement The Osmond Family Show (which didn't last long).

Let's have a look at a few pages, shall we?


Vintage Scares #34: Slasher Films: Dirty Girls Must Be Punished!

"I'm convinced that these films are a primordial response to the women's movement."
- Gene Siskel on Slasher Films

Whatever the underlying reason was (we'll leave that to the armchair sociologists); the fact remains that the surest way to get killed in a slasher film is to take your clothes off.  If you plan on taking a shower or a skinny dip in a slasher movie, go ahead and expect an untimely death at the hands of the boogeyman.

Heck, even removing your pants and chillaxing in your underwear is grounds for swift and immediate execution.  Even worse, appear just a teensy bit slutty or horny..... aaaaand you're dead.  Slasher bad-guys may spare the "pure" one, but the "tainted" guys and gals gotsta go.

In this post, we'll focus on the ladies.  After all, they're killed way more often and creatively than the horny guys.  The "dude deaths" are often just an annoyance to get through before the slasher kicks it up a notch.  Or it serves the purpose of setting a mood of impending doom; making the girl's death more anticipated and chilling.  For instance, in Halloween II, the deaths of the security guard and horny hot tub dude aren't particularly memorable.... however, they certainly amp up the tension and fear.

So, let's focus where it counts - those dirty dames that must be punished. Enjoy.


Vintage Scan #25: A Citizen's Handbook on Nuclear Attack (1968)

The Cold War scare of nuclear annihilation probably was at its zenith during the fifties and early sixties; however, the threat of mass extinction lingered well into the eighties (anyone remember "The Day After"?). One could make an argument that we are no less safe today.  For instance, if Pakistan and India start dropping bombs on each other, the repercussions will be on a global scale. You could also argue that atomic weapons are in the hands of far less stable countries.  Where the Cold War threat sat at a stalemate of mutually assured destruction between two superpowers, the climate today is much more spread out, with fingers on the button that probably shouldn't be trusted with a toaster let a lone an Earth destroying warhead.

But, there are other factors at work (such as the capabilities to send them long range without intercept, etc.), but the bottom line is this: the threat may still exist, but the fear of attack was far more widespread five decades ago.

Vintage Style #38: Hair

Hair is actually quite strange when you stop and think about it.  It's basically there to protect your head from the effects of the sun and serves as insulation.  Beyond that, it's function is under debate.  But this tuft atop our heads has tons of meaning for us humans.

The hippies grew it long as an act of rebellion, and blacks let it 'fro as a demonstration of their African roots. In the 50s and 60s, men slicked it back and cut it close while the ladies manicured it like a topiary.  Eighties hair bands as an androgynous and decadent statement while the subsequent grunge bands let it hang limp, untended and greasy.  In the early part of the seventies, the "earthy" anti-materialist vibe was all around and women subsequently wore their hair simple and straight.  When the disco era hit, a more glam, feathered and tended hairstyle became popular.

You get the picture... and that's just the latter half of one century.  This hair thing has been going on since mankind was slinging stones at mammoths.  In this post, I've just collected together a few hair related ephemera I have lying around.  Enjoy.