Mini Skirt Monday #151: Hawaii Five-0

There was more to Hawaii Five-0 than just Jack Lord's awesome hair.  There were also miniskirts.  If you could avert your eyes from Lord's godlike pate, there were plenty o' minis to bee seen.

In this post we not only have a bunch of Five-0 minis, but also a brief bio for each actress that's wearing them.  Some interesting, some not-so-much.

Anyway, book dem miniskirts, Dano! (It had to be said.  Better to get it over with early.)

Kathleen Cannon

Kathleen would go on to tons of TV work including a lead role on Father Murphy (remember that sappy show with Merlon Olson?) and Beverly Hills 90210 - she played Tori Spelling's mom.

Kathleen Cannon

That's her in the red mini.... and that's Martin Sheen beside her!

Kathleen Cannon

Hawaii Five-0 earns points for gratuitous miniskirts.  Here, Kathleen is in her prison uniform. Yeah, you read that right. Prison minis.

Linda Marsh

Linda evidently was an accomplished thespian, playing alongside the big leaguers like Sir John Gielgud.   Then she hopped from guest spot to guest spot on Mannix, Perry Mason, The Six Million Dollar Man, The Mod Squad, etc... not really going anywhere.  She quit for good in '79.

Linda Marsh

Charlotte Couch

Charlotte plays a nurse who gets killed and painted like a hooker before the intro theme even roles.  She has no speaking lines and never appeared in anything before or after.

Marjorie Battles

Marjorie Battles plays another hapless victim of the perverted serial killer.  No lines, and very little screen time.  Evidently Marjorie had mental problems and threw herself onto a subway track in the mid eighties.  Sort of makes her all-too-brief scene in Five-0 all the more disturbing.

Sheilah Wells

Sheilah place yet another hapless victim with very little to do except scream and get attacked.  Trivia: She was best friends with Sharon Tate.

Beth Brickell

Beth Brickell's addition to the Hawaii Five-0 pantheon of minis is of special significance.  She stays in this yellow mini dress the entire episode and she's in almost every scene.  Perhaps among the top 10 TV miniskirt episodes in terms of duration.

Beth Brickell

At one point, you think Jack Lord is going to tag it, but he's far too "buy the books" to get it on with a woman he's supposed to be protecting.

Trivia: Beth is from Arkansas and has always been politically active, especially as a supporter for the Bill Clinton presidential campaign.

You don't think Beth and Bill did a little, you know....... that Bill and her participated in a bit of......naahhhh.

Joanna Barnes

Joanna is primarily known for her role as the goldigger in the original Parent Trap.

Sheila Larkin

Sheila Larkin plays a chick who gets hypnotized to shoot a high diver (don't ask).  She's primarily known as being Dana Scully's mom on The X Files.

Jennifer Billingsley

Jennifer Billingsley was Burt Reynolds' main squeeze in my favorite hick flick, White Lighting.  She also had top billing in the atrocious The Thirsty Dead (1974).

You'll notice a young Tom Skerritt, who plays her boyfriend with real anger issues.  I really want to read what's on that paper...

Looks like "East West Center originated in statehood pride." Could it actually be a Hawaiian newspaper?

Julie Gregg

Julie Gregg was Sandra Corleone in The Godfather (I and II).  In this episode she plays a grieving widow.... or (spoiler alert) maybe not so grieving.

Loretta Switt

I was really surprised to see Hot Lips Houlihan as a drunk girl in a miniskirt who gets killed  (as often happens on Five-0) before the theme song rolls.

The show could be surprisingly brutal.  It's portrayals of violence were often very direct, in focus, an unwavering.  This scene in particular was genuinely disturbing.  The killer very graphically murders Hot Lips.... something I'm sure both Frank and Hawkeye have dreamed of doing on more than one occasion..

So, let's end on a bright note with the winner for shortest miniskirt of them all.  That honor goes to Barbara Luna.

Luna was the first choice to play Anita in West Side Story (a role that went to Rita Moreno).  On Five-0 she graces the screen with not one but two micro minis.  And for that, we thank her.

THE END