Album Covers #40

Oscar Brand and the Short Arms 1963
There's a joke on this cover, but I can't find it.  Are we to assume this man's member is also saluting?  What about the title of the record? The "cough" refers to a prostate exam, and this doctor is on the wrong side to be doing one of those.  Whatever's behind that curtain is making this doc do a double-take, and I am at once curious and disturbed.

[Update: This mystery has been thoroughly solved in the comments section.  Spoiler Alert: I'm an idiot.]

So, enjoy another round of vinyl curiosities, awful albums, record oddities, and laughable LPs.  In this corner of the retro universe, the well never runs dry.

Los Angeles Negros 1980
I wonder if this group picked up on the confused looks from the crowd every time they walked on stage.

Earl Jordan 1972
Earl is looking at us with a look that says, "You'd love to know why I have a pearl in my mouth, well too bad, so sad."  The artistic group, Hipgnosis, that made this cover should be ashamed.  They were responsible for some amazing well loved cover art back in the day, including almost all of Floyd's covers as well as Zep's Houses of the Holy.

Trilly Cole
Good grief.  That is one awful facial expression.  I'm amazed she could do it.... and more amazed that she decided to put it on her album cover.

Ol' Trilly actually was a pretty big name back in the day.  One of the longest running acts in Nashville, a spot on "Hee Haw" and even a tour with Sinatra.

For the non-believers

Various Artists 1987
Call me crazy, but I wonder if a muddy thicket wasn't the best spot for a rendezvous.  I will say that this is a pretty impressive shot: one doesn't often get to see Preppies mating in the wild.

Every song you'd expect to be on this album is on it.  "Cherish" by Kool & the Gang? Check.  "When I Need You" by Leo Sayer? Check. "Get Closer" by Seals and Croft? Check.  "Sad Eyes" by Robert John? Check.

Ray Conniff 1975
So many questions. Is he sitting on her handlebars, but on the same bike? Is Mary Tyler Moore molesting him? Is that a safe way to take your kid on a bike ride? Is that little girl the daughter of the devil?

Finished Touch 1978
Got to love those colorful lines decorating this cover.  It just wouldn't work without them.

Pure Love & Pleasure 1974
Do you get the feeling all the guys are just glomming onto this chick all the time? Things are way past being awkward and moved into straight up harassment.  She needs to slap a restraining order on three of these fellas (mutton-chop/uni-brow is probably okay).

Looking back, I wonder if any of these ladies view this as a mizztake.

The Putnam Brothers 1975
For a time, wide-collared print shirts were ubiquitous.  Also of note - the young Putnam in the back.  His stud-muffin older brothers must've had all the groupies while he quietly invented ASCII or COBOL or something.

Elkie Brooks, Rich Man's Woman 1975
The British Queen of Blues and Wild Woman of Rock had much acclaim heaped upon her; opening for The Beatles and The Faces, forming a band (Vinegar Joe) with Robert Palmer.... then this, her first solo album.  The semi-naked Elkie caused quite a stir, and while the critics liked it, Rich Man's Woman was a flop.  What came after was 16 albums in 25 years, all works to be proud of.

Don & Sue
Legend has it that you play this album backwards and it sounds like Don is reading a brownie recipe. Also, on the coda for track four, you can faintly hear Sue talking to her cat. Not exactly exciting - satanic incantations would've been a lot more interesting to report.  Sorry.


  1. "Turn your head and cough" is what the doctor tells you to do as he examines you, from the front, for a hernia.

    Trust me, it has NOTHING to do with a prostate exam!

  2. Ah yes, the "Secret Love" LP, which had one of the most nauseating commercials of the 80s. "These songs really bring out the animal in people." The funny thing was I was visiting family in Washington state and watching a Santo movie on Spanish language station. There commercial was for "Secret Love" only with a Hispanic couple in Spanish (They actually were not as annoying or dorky as the couple in the American ad).

  3. #1: Don Knotts and Cliff Robertson enjoy a tender moment
    #2: Singers or magicians? You choose
    #3: Can't sleep...Jordan will eat me
    #4: The Crawdad...failed to displace the Watusi, twist or Madison as the nation's #1 dance of the early 60s.
    #5: Trousers tucked into socks....NO!
    #6: Even when painted, Earl's hair looks fake. Tracks on the album include "She's Got Karen Black Eyes"
    #7: Irregular candy coloured stripes dashed randomly across pictures need to make a comeback.
    #8: Man at the rear right...you just know he's the drummer. "WO-MAN! WOOO-MANNN!"
    #9: Mizz...spot the poor man's Landers sisters in there.
    #10: The Putnams are a collision between the Bridges brothers and David Cassidy, with Robin Gibb at the back.
    #11: Oh Elkie...I never knew you had that side to you.
    #12: "Don't...move...Sue. It's a gravitationally polarised bomb set to go off with the slightest movement. That's why our hair doesn't move at all.
    #13: You just know that album is going to be a slackly rendered jam of disco and top hit for now but with a dog barking the lyrics.

  4. AnonymousJuly 25, 2013

    Wow! Finished Touch, 5 years ahead of your time with that cover!

  5. Once upon a time, the military would do a "short arm inspection" on men. IE examine the penis for any signs of VD. This inspection, as one can imagine, was not greeted with any joy by anyone. Mostly because they were done en-masse dozens of guys standing around with their junk out while medical personal examined said junk with less than gentle methods. Also if you had VD you were given a shot of Penicllian and put in a tent called "the Clap shack". Your time in "the clap shack" was often added to your overseas, or combat tour time.

  6. AnonymousJuly 25, 2013

    Good ole Oscar Brand, his album covers were always the best!

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

  8. drjim (above) is quite right regarding the hernia exam.

    "Finished Touch" is what was happening under dress. You can tell by her face ;)

  9. Ray Conniff is sitting on a tandem bike. Her handle bars mount under his seat.

  10. I had the Mizz lp...don't think I ever played it. Well, not on a turntable.

  11. Phil Hartman worked with Hipgnosis, iirc.

  12. When you have a voice as great like Elkie Brooks , no need for such albums covers. But still a great cover.

  13. I've seen the Cough album cover before, and it cracked me up.

    Loving the BOLD new look of the site!

  14. Whoa. I used to see Trilly Cole perform at Jack Hamilton's Supper Club just outside of Washington, IA in the latter part of the '70s. Who knew she did shows with Sinatra (*any* Sinatra)?

  15. Make Room For Jesus (Or Else...)

  16. "Seasons In The Sun"; still can't figure out if that was about a kid with a terminal disease, or teen suicide.

  17. Actually the accompanying comment about this photo is WRONG. He is performing an inguinal canal hernia test which uses a cough to create a palpable pulse through the canal which is detected by the examiner's gloved digit, NOT performing a prostate exam, so YES he is on the correct side. I performed hundreds of these and other tests in the military as a practitioner. Please change your accompanying comment to reflect the photo's appropriate representation.